do you ever get over your first love?

Question

I have been with my husband since i was 15 now i am 26 and we have recently parted ways but its like he can always come back in my life because i still have feelings for him as being my chidrens father,my husband and first love does this eventually go away or will i always feel this way?

Answer 1

I don't think you will ever forget your first love but you can get over it.

Answer 2

It should go away and then you'll be thinking,Wow, some @sshole I was for always being one half of a couple since I was 15. Jeez, I missed out on so much and lost some good friends for him. Where are all of the cute guys that wanted to date me,but I wasn't allowed? Love seams great when you're young and niave and think it will last for ever. Just another marriage made in Heaven gone bad. Think back at all the people who told you then that yoyu should see other people. I'm not trying to put you down, just trying to enlighten you somewhat. Remember, It always takes someone special to forget someone special. My first love was 33 years ago and I still think of her from time to time. Hang in there.

Answer 3

I'm not sure of the reason of separation with your hubby, but time definitely will heal your wounds. Though it's hard to put down a past relationship, but no worries you'll get over soon. Remember he can come back to your life only if you allow him to. So be strong and lead a new life. Do anything ( besides eating and drinking ) to distract your attention like a career, a hobby, outing with friends, spending time with your children or go to church etc. Basically keep yourself busy and slowly try not to think of your ex-hubby so much. Tell yourself you live for yourself and your children not for him. Keep only good memories and forget the bad ones. Last but not least, cry out loud or speak to a best friend (when feeling depress), as it helps too. Soon you'll realise your feeling for your ex-husband will slowly go away. Take care.

Answer 4

Yes it will go away. I always have this debate with people. They say because you have children with someone you will always have love for them. Not true. I was truly in love with the fathers when I had my children and I have realized that life goes on. The support they have given me to raise these children have been 0 and over the years I just forgot about them. If they didn't want to be in the childrens life why should I care. These are children out of marriages. If my kids dad died tomorrow I wouldn't shed a tear. I'm not bitter that's just how I feel.

Answer 5

Over the years I have watched my friends and family members deal with this heartbreaking issue. As parents they have done some damage because they made the decision to separate and divorce but couldn't move on in a healthy way. The first thing to do is but some distance between you. If his visits with the children don't need to be supervised you don't need to be present; find an activity that his having the children frees you up for; a class or a hobby. Don't rush into another relationship too fast; that doesn't help. Be good to yourself, focus on healing your children because they hurt too and build your own life.

Answer 6

I think you'll always feel this way even if you fall in love again. My husband and I have been together for 10 years and married for 3 with two kids. Recently while we were out I saw a guy I dated off and on while I dated my husband. I was so nervous, short of breath, jittery. We didn't even speak!!!!!!! I love my husband and couldn't imagine life without him but your first love is YOUR FIRST LOVE.

Answer 7

Yes, most people does. One thing is to forget the first love and another is to remember with a certain amount of feelings, you'll get over him, and you'll be surprise that soon you just see him as the father of your children but not as the man you love, and eventually you two will be talking as good friends who have something in common, the love and well-being of your kids.

Answer 8

Yes you do when you meet the right person. It is hard because your feelings and memories extend from your childhood and you will always have to deal with him regarding the children. But, everything must come to an end with time. Yours just might not be as quick nor as complete as others. But, there is a reason you decided not to be with him anymore, remind yourself of that each time you are reminiscing of the good times.

Answer 9

The problem is that by marrying at such a young age, you failed to give yourself the opportunity to experience other relationships. It is through experiences in other relationships it what allows people, especially young teens to grow both socially and emotionally. By marrying so young and having no other relationships you have stunted your emotional growth. You have come to develop a strong emotional attachment to your husband that you are now allowing your emotions to overtake what you know to be good common sense. As long as you continue to come in and out of your life as he pleases he will always do so. To answer your question, can a person get over their first love? The answer is yes. But what they first have to realize is that they have to love themselves first. You have to love yourself enough to stop letting him take advantage of your love him. Because that is what he is doing. Three years ago I encountered a similar problem and finally decided that enough was enough and it was time to move on. It was tough in the beginning because I had really wanted things to work out and I thought the relationship would last forever. However, as things turned out it didn't and I knew it was time to move on. One thing that did help me get through the breakup was prayer and developing a personal one on one relationship with God. The best thing you can do right now is to focus on being a good person and a good mom to your kids. As time progresses don't be afraid to get out there and start dating again. Meet new people, make new friends and just have fun. I'm sure God has your the man who is truly your Mr. Right out there somewhere. Peace and God bless.

Answer 10

Time heals all but it may be a little harder if you see him alot. But you need to try and get on with your life you can remain friends which is always best for the kids but you ae not together so dont act like it. Unless you all plan to get back to gether. If you end a relationship you will eventually get over it it just takes time.

Answer 11

It's not just that he is your first love, he is the only man you've ever known and the father of your children.
You will always feel a strong connection to him. And that isn't a bad thing. Focus on raising your children, and being a good mom. Their little lives are very disrupted because you two made bad choices.