What Can I Do About An Overprotective Mother?

Question

I'm 27 and lately I've noticed a lot of problems with my mother. She's always been neurotic and overprotective of me mainly because I am the youngest of 5 and used to serve as the family “doormat”. But now that I’ve survived all the sexual and physical abuse, I realize that mom has a hard time letting go.

While I don't have a decent job to pay off my bills, I live at home with my parents. However, every time I apply for work, my mother insists that I apply and immediately get fired so I can collect unemployment. While I’ve had over 22 jobs in the last 4 years, most of them temp jobs, my mom can’t wait for me to either quit or get fired so I can collect unemployment because "its government money that’s just going to go to someone else unless I collect it". She cooks an endless amount off food at no ones request and is furious that’s I eat it. Because of this I don’t lose any weight to feel good about myself. During the day she moans in pain out loud, saying that her knees and joints hurt all the time. She walks down the hallway in the mornings bumping into walls like she’s intoxicated, grabbing hold of me so she can balance herself. At night, she falls asleep with the TV at full volume so I have to turn it off. As I leave her room, she immediately wakes up and says “goodnight”.

I’m afraid that I’m missing the important parts of my life constantly hanging out with my mom. I’m nearly 30 and I want out. What can I possibly do?

Answer 1

You need a fulltime job and then move out. You are right. You are missing important times in your life.

Answer 2

Look at college things. Look at jobs. First find a 'permanet' job then save up then move out. Your mother sounds very sick just like my mother. It's not health for you to be there for so long. Onceyou are on your feet so to speal then go to colege. From there you can meet new people maybe even meet someone special. Live life outside of your mothers home. She is not the best she could be. Collect govenment money is not going to get you throuhgt life/ Live Laugh Learn Love. Good Luck

Answer 3

All moms are that way yes some moms can be worst than others but, think of the daughter or sons out there that don't even get a hello how are you doing from their moms. I say just ignore her if she gets on your nerves but appreciate that she is over protective. I am about to be 21 next month aand my mom still thinks that Im her baby and i;m the oldest on her side. So more than likely thats what mothers do.

Answer 4

OK, we were not allowed to go out on a date with a boy until we were at 16, we were allowed to go to school dance functions though if chaparoned. Your mother needs to let you go out and start understanding how society works. you only have school and church that is not enough. Ask your mother if you can take up lessons for something you love to do, art, music, dance whatever, some girls its sports, start with your school programs for gymnastics whatever, good luck honey. You should not be afraid to talk to your mom about anything, she is your mother and needs to know what is important for you in your life, make her understand that soon you will be an adult and you need to develop independent life skills in order to become a responsible adult. She should not have an argument with that if she is too strict you can call in specialists through your local children's help lines and so on.

Answer 5

i am 32 and i have a way overprotective mother if it says anything it always negative like i will wake up and go get a soda or water out of the garage and she will look straight at me and go do you hair it nasty at least brush before you come down i am trying to wake up and she comments on that i mean i had a few good guys that she ran off before we really got into a relationship my mom has tried to run off my fiance she will say to us that we need to be married now so she doesn't have to pay for the wedding and yes the sitrution is i do live with her try to found a new job it takes time and money to move out but she is pushing harder then ever now and we should be trying to finish the wedding planning which i know is stressful on both of us sorry to say it hard but get a back bone and stand up for yourself and tell her to cute the apron string my faince and my stepfather have told her to back the HE!! off and let me be a lady if you have a father talk to him and ask for his help you feel like you be intmadete by her unless he is a coward he should be willing to step up to bat for you i am the youngest of 3 and know what you going through email if you need any help about any of this. it hard i know you a loving daughter but you want a life as much as i did if it wasnt for my step dad and my fiance i will still be under her thumb they treat us like hand puppets until we stand up for yourselfs and then the hate but have to realize we wont be around forever.

Answer 6

what happen to your other olders 4... brothers or sisters... ? they can help? you mother have a husband? start thinking what is more important... I know, you mother.. because she is the person that grow up you.. but find a job... a good one... stay in there full time.. when you mother start doint that.. "tell her that yes, soon... when she looking another excuse tell her.. well I tell them but they asking me to wait until they find another person... I wait for my bonus coming soon... my boss asked if I can wait a littler longer... if difficult to find a good person for the job..." also find a roomate.. that you can afford live out of your mother house... after you can be in your feet.. give some of this reponsibilities to you other brothers and systers... they need to be there too...

good luck

Answer 7

As hard as it is, you gotta go up to her and tell her the truth. She will be sad, and angry and depressed for a bit. But she will notice one thing. That she raised you right, and that you stood up for yourself. She will know your rady and ease off. I know its hard because you love her and you dont want to hurt her. But its time you gotta tell her how you feel or your life will end in your mothers arms.

Answer 8

go your way