2007-06-16 04:32:36 · 22 answers · asked by elizabeth p 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Generally..no
But I do not know the circumstances. Sometimes there are circumstances where their is an affair and the marriage can be worked on and eventually regain trust.
2007-06-16 04:36:55 · answer #1 · answered by yourbiznow.info 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think he can be--but that's more to do with how well the couple deals with the affair than anything else. I also think it takes a bit of time. I have a good friend who had an affair, it took his wife a few years to get over it completely--but she did. They were just both very patient during that process, they kept reminding each other during the rough parts that their marriage and family were worth all the crap they were going through. They received hours of counselling during this process. So trust can be regained, but it's a long, arduous process that I think MOST people aren't willing to go through. It is easier to get divorced--my friend's wife even told me a few times that she thought about divorcing her husband after his affair--that it would be easier. And I would tell her if she REALLY wanted to do that, and thought it would be best for everyone, then I would support her 100% in that decision. And then she'd say that it wasn't best for anyone--just herself, so she very selflessly stuck it out with her husband. That was a good 15 years ago, they're still married and have a great relationship--3 beautiful grandchildren--all their kids are grown and gone. She told me the other day she was glad she stuck through all the bad stuff--it makes the good stuff even better. Funny how life works that way, isn't it?
2007-06-16 04:41:47 · answer #2 · answered by basketcase88 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately, only you can decide that one based on his actions from now on. His past actions show that he was not worthy of your trust at that time. He must be willing to do whatever you ask of him to repair the damage and rebuild your faith in him.
My husband had an affair and I can't say that I will ever trust him 100% no matter what he does. I may have a jaundiced view, but I think the one you have to trust in is yourself. Trust that you will be able to handle anything life throws at you.
2007-06-16 04:44:13 · answer #3 · answered by MNature 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He has already shown himself to be un-trustworthy, so no, I don't think so. Trust is very, very hard to gain back after breaking it in such a intimate and shattering way. But, it depends on the reasons for the affair, too. If it was the result of an estrangement between the two of you, then it may be an opportunity to rebuild your relationship. But if he just couldn't keep his pants zipped and "couldn't help himself", he hasn't take responsibility for his behavior, and no, I could never trust him completely again.
2007-06-16 04:40:24 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
All depends, but certainly if he had an affair, there are problems in the marriage and you both need to talk through them or else it will only get worse. Obviously he feels un-fulfilled. Did you recently have kids? Are you still bonding, being intimate, having sex?
I been married 13yrs and we've hit hard times of recent, so I can relate very well.
2007-06-16 04:37:10 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
He needs to work hard to gain your trust back. It takes a long time for the other to totally forgive. I don't think it will be forgotten, since it hurt so bad esp. if the spouse doesn't deserve to be cheated on.
2007-06-16 05:04:46 · answer #6 · answered by July Girl 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
NOPE...bottom line is nope....I don't care what anyone says, there is ABSOLUTELY NO REASON FOR CHEATING....if someone is not happy in a marriage then get the hell out and don't destroy lives. When my ex cheated, at first I was numb and thought I wanted to try and make it work. He knew he messed up bad and that it would never be the same so I got out...I am so glad I did...how could you EVER trust him again?
2007-06-16 05:17:07 · answer #7 · answered by Spaceyangel 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Technically no, he's already proven himself to be untrustworthy. The deeper question is, do you think he can redeem himself to regain your trust? If you decide that love outweighs other considerations and you're giving him the chance to try, then it is incumbent on him to rebuild your confidence in him. He'll have to patient, more patient than he's ever been before, and he has to understand that he's going to have to endure a certain amount of crap to make things right. Good luck to you....both of you.
2007-06-16 04:44:45 · answer #8 · answered by Captain S 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
NO, sorry. My husband cheated a few years ago, and I really really tried, but i cannot forget it. I do not trust him at all!!!! We were married for 20 yrs, and i never cheated, never wanted to. I had plenty of opportunities, but I would never do that. I cant trust him with anything. I feel that once trust is broken, its broken for ever.
2007-06-16 05:18:24 · answer #9 · answered by brokenheart 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depends on y he had the affair
ask yourself how have you treated him hows your sex life.
could you have caused him to drift .
how many times no matter what he has done have you told him know
do you still get headaches every night.
he may be feeling guilt as could be, and could be very trust worthy because he knows how bad he hurt the one he loves.
you and him have alot of work to do good luck
2007-06-16 04:43:14 · answer #10 · answered by G O 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋