He wants me
I can't believe it
I melt into his arms
As he kisses me
Urgently and with passion
Yet tender and soft
I feel his love surround me
As we lay down together
My fears slip away
Replaced by peace and security
I see inside his soul
And know that I have found him
The One
And then I wake
It was all a dream
Emptiness consumes me
2007-06-16 03:43:37 · 7 answers · asked by Philomena M 2 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Poetry
its nice. i really like it b/c its deep.
2007-06-16 03:47:40 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think your words are relating in a good way and do not have to be in rhyme. Only comment is dont let the emptiness consume you carry yourself forward because you have enough feeling within to do so, from your words that is.
2007-06-16 12:01:33 · answer #2 · answered by deep in thought 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nice ... very nice!
Dont take any notice of them that say your poem should rhyme.
I dont want to;-
read rhyme;
all the time;
cos it'l all be fine;
if I jus sit in line;
n'get me pen;
an u tell me when;
i can start t'write;
jus switch on the light;
then i can see;
what its doin to me..... I DONT THINK SO...
You just carry on as u r ... u doin marvellously!
2007-06-16 16:30:53 · answer #3 · answered by ? 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Nice. I still think a poem should rhyme, but I enjoyed reading it nonetheless. One day he will be there when you wake up!
2007-06-16 10:46:58 · answer #4 · answered by bruvvamoff 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow that's really sad. write about something happy!!! it's a bloody good poem, but that almost makes it more sad that you are so good at writing unhappy things. it is fantastic though.
2007-06-17 08:32:16 · answer #5 · answered by country gal 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i like it..i really do. it reminds me of myself and how i feel...don't you hate it when what you write sometimes can't be real?....emptiness consumes me in that way....
thank you
2007-06-16 12:34:13 · answer #6 · answered by Blah 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its ok but its a bit to deep for me
2007-06-18 18:32:31 · answer #7 · answered by mish 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋