I've always been shy, If you meet me in the street you wouldn't know I was shy, I would say hi etc. But if you stop and talk to me I will just claim up. Problem being my mind goes totally blank so I can't think of anything to say, and if you don't lead the conversation we will be stuck in an uneasy silence.
It leaves me with no friends at work and socially and this has lead to anxiey and I believe its also leading to depression, sure I can take tablets for the symptoms etc but it will be pointless if the shyness problem is still there.
2007-06-16 02:37:28 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Try to look at shyness as a form of conceit.
When you are shy, you focus on yourself, your own feelings, your own thoughts, etc. You appear to others to be self-absorbed, and not wanting to reach out or connect with them.
It's better to focus on breathing (to remember to do it!) but do try to notice as much as possible about the other person who is with you. Look really hard at them. Maybe they have remarkable eyes, or a nice smile or talk very sweetly. You can mention the things you notice.
If it's a girl, for example, you can say that her hairband is a very pretty color, for example. Ask her if that's her favorite color, or does she prefer another one?
For a guy, you might see that he has an interesting leather belt on, or a really neat haircut. Tell him it reminds you of a cousin or a good friend.
Ask questions to find out more about people and it will be interesting to you, flattering to them, and conversations will flow more easily.
2007-06-16 02:49:52 · answer #1 · answered by nora22000 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
OK, I really don't know you so here's my assessment of what you wrote. Your mind goes blank, but you don't explain why your mind goes blank. Do you feel what you have to say has no value? Then I would say try to meet extroverted people that talk alot and are sensitive. If you do this, most likely they will be likely to assure you.
If your problem is that you really don't have any material to pull up, I would recommend reading, news, books, listening to music, etc. So that way you will always have a common topic with the person you are having a conversation with.
Another thing you can do is practice, yes practice having a conversation in your head. Anticipate questions, anticipate answers as well.
NOW, if what is going on is that you are actually ANXIOUS in this circumstances, then I would say you have another problem. You can have a phobia, or GAD (generalized anxiety disorder) so look for help and see what is the underlying problem.
2007-06-16 09:44:50 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some things you just have to do for yourself, just do it, try instigating a conversation, then do it again and again, eventually you will get the hang of it. Liquid courage will help start you on the right track, it worked for me, I will talk your head off after I get a few drinks in me. What ever you do don't get hooked on anti-depressants, they don't tell you that quiting suddenly "will" cause illness and or death, read the warnings. Why they say they could cause suicidal thoughts in children under 18; why not 18 and over? Just to cover their rear ends to avoid law suits maybe? What is the significant difference between someone 17, 18, or 19 that determines if you might be suicidal from the medication?
2007-06-16 09:55:54 · answer #3 · answered by samhillesq 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your problem is not shy but low confidence. Build your confidence level by improving your skills & spend more time in area that you are good at.
When you clamp up, just remember one thing "BE RIGHT HERE". Meaning, you do not think that you are shy, or what kind of conversation you want to talk. But look around you at that time. Talk about anything that you see / hear. If the other person wearing a nice clothes / have a new hair cut or anything.
2007-06-16 09:55:01 · answer #4 · answered by bla b 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I used to be shy too. I think what got me out of it was to make the other person the focus. It's not just saying hi, it's saying " Hi, How are you?" You need something to go on. If they answer with one word you can always follow up with another question "what have you been up to lately?" I think that shy people often get into a rut where they feel like they have to provide everything in a conversation when they're not used to it in the first place
2007-06-16 09:54:46 · answer #5 · answered by Dan 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am not sure there is a cure. You might try going to a shrink. I have heard they have some methods to help people overcome shyness. Not sure if this helps much, but it sounds like you suffer alot of emotional pain from this. Seeking help is not a sign of weakness. :)
2007-06-16 09:43:11 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
When you hit a lull in any conversation you can easily start with anything. A good way to start is with a news story from that day.
"Hey, did you hear about the.............. in the news?"
Then let it go from there.
:O)
2007-06-16 10:05:18 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Jack Daniels, Baby.
2007-06-16 09:46:15 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
write what you would say on the back of your hand and try to remeber them sio you know what to say
2007-06-16 09:41:11 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Love yourself, respect yourself and be proud.
Good luck
2007-06-16 09:59:05 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋