X won't call his son since Christmas! Can the courts make him call or make arrangements for visitation? X won't talk about it or answer his phone. He won't give me his new address. He says to call the courts. The courts don't have it. I am sick of his behavior. I have to get to pay some medical bills. What do I do? Will the courts act on this? I called his Attorney, she says I don't represent him anymore which is bull, she always says this until an issue comes up, she is there in court. Doesn't she have to give me his address? My son keeps asking when can he see his Dad. This is horrible! The Dad also left his 20 yrs. old daughter but he communicates w/ her all the time. Should I file for full custody & demand he looses his rights as a parent? Urgent Care just called me & said they have been billing him for his co-pays & he hasn't been paying.
2007-06-16 02:33:44 · 8 answers · asked by pinky 1 in Politics & Government ➔ Law & Ethics
Of course not; the courts cannot force an immature dad to live up to his moral obligations.
Do you remember why you divorced him? I'm guessing it is because he didn't turn out to be the man you had hoped. Do you imagine that somehow he'll change into a loving, compassionate father now that he has divorced you? Not a chance!
The courts cannot force him to become a "real man." They can only enforce the divorce decree--including any child support issues.
He doesn't "have" to contact his son (he may have the right to do so, but never the obligation.) He also doesn't have to talk to you. He has no responsibility to give you his phone number, his address, or any other contact information. In the divorce, you agreed that the two of you were not going to operate together as a husband and wife ever again. Sad, but that's the deal you agreed to.
When you call his attorney, and she says "she doesn't represent him" that is accurate. She will only represent him when he is paying her to do so. He pays her to show up in court, not to communicate with him through her. She has no obligation to tell you anything about her client (that is called client/attorney privledge.)
Your son will ask to see his Dad, and it IS horrible that the Dad doesn't want to see the son. But that's the dad's decision. You are not going to get him to live up to his moral obligations to act like a father.
And that your ex- calls his 20-year old daughter is completely irrelevant. Maybe he likes her. Maybe he has formed the very bond with her, that you wish he would form with your son.
You can file for him to lose full custody if you want, and then you'll learn what a single-parent family truly is.
You've got a problem. You chose an idiot to be the father of your children. He is clearly not mature enough to fulfill his moral responsibilities. You can't force a bad man to be good.
What you have to do, now, is quit worrying about the fact that you made a huge mistake by thinking this guy would be anything more than a sperm donor and get on with your life. Expect nothing from him, and he just might exceed your expectations.
My guess is that as he gets older, and when your son turns to be about 18, dad will show up and want to know his "boy." Because by then, the dad will realize that he himself has nothing without loving children. But that's just a guess.
For you, get on without him. Learn to live without a husband, and without a father to your son.
The situation is tragic--but you are wasting energy worrying about "the father." The kid has no one but you.
2007-06-16 02:37:42 · answer #1 · answered by Lorenzo 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I really thing you should call the courts, and make him pay child support whether he likes it or not. In my state, which is Wisconsin, and the father has to pay the child support whether the child lives in Wisconsin or not. IF they do not pay the child support, they go right to jail. NO Questions asked. You might want to call your attorney and ask for some help. Maybe your attorney can do something about this issue. See if you can call the daughter, and ask her for the phone number, and new address, and see what happens. EVery state has different laws when it comes to paying the child support. ALso you need to tell your attorney that he has not paying your child's co-payments fo the medical bills.
See if you can arrange visitation at least once a month if he don't live too far away, so at least he can still see his father now and then. I am not sure if the courts can require visitation, this may be something you can also look into,
2007-06-16 03:57:48 · answer #2 · answered by Pauly W 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately, they can not force him to call or visit. Even if there's shared visitation, the father can waive his right to visitation. The courts CAN force him to pay child support. My advice would be to take as much from him as possible since he's being a jerk. Whatever the maximum child support the courts decide he could/should pay, that's what you should take. It's sad that the courts can't force him to visit/call, and even if they could he probably wouldn't be a very good Father figure anyways. You're better off without him. Raise your son right. Teach him that wrong is wrong even if everyone is doing it and right is right even if no one is doing it. Teach him to stand up for himself and defend himself and also, to stand up for those who can not defend themselves. And that if there is a child with whom no one is playing then he should play with that child. Teach him to be an individual with strong values, morals and what is right and wrong. And most importantly, a strong sense of self. Do all that and be supportive in all his endeavors and be the best parent you can be and he'll be all right. I have faith in you. Good Luck!
2007-06-16 02:46:24 · answer #3 · answered by R H 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I understand your frustration but cut your losss. File for full custoday and try to get is rights revoked. He obviously is not interested in being a parent. Explain to your son that it's not his fault, his dad is sick (do not lie or make things up) he has a mental disorder than doesnt allow him to care. Maybe one day he will. Right now you son deserves to know his father is selfish and hopefully one day he will realise his mistake and try to make it up to him.
My 5 year old son hasnt seen his father since 4th of July 2006 and that was in the town parade (son didnt know who he or the grandparents and aunt were) They live iin a nice house about 12 blocks from me and do not even try to contact. I say my son is better off with no visit is better than being disappointed everytime they are late or don't show. I have not cut off communication. They have always been welcome here, or welcome to call they choose not too. I don't recieve nor do I ask for support. I might live in public housing but I am raising a great kid. I too need to get his rights revoked I have someone getting my will together so that if something happens to me my brother becomes his guardian. I have a file I have keep notating every time the fathers family has contacted him or I them since July 2005.
2007-06-16 02:48:33 · answer #4 · answered by Sarelda 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The court can make him pay what he's ordered to pay (conceivably) but they cannot force him to call or to be a good dad.
You can file for full custody - that won't force him to give up parental rights. He has to sign a paper to do that.
The attorney may no longer represent him - it's doubtful that an attorney would lie to you.
Just tell your son that his dad loves him, don't put him in the middle of your anger, it isn't good for him and it certainly isn't fair.
2007-06-16 02:43:05 · answer #5 · answered by pepper 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
The courts cant force any of the spouse to take custody of the child, but either of the spouse file a petition for custody then the court can give direction to hand over the child to his/her custody seeing upon the circumstances of the case. File a maintenance suit against your husband for you and for your children as a responsible father he is duty bounded to pay your maintenance and your son maintenance till he reaches his majority.if there is any suit pending in the court where your husband is a party to that proceedings then apply for a certified copy in that suit/petitionunder cause title your husband address will be shown this is one way to trap his address.
2007-06-16 02:50:32 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
No, neither the courts nor you can change this person's behavior. The only thing you can do is make sure he's legally obligated to pay child support. You CAN'T make him act like a decent human being.
2007-06-16 02:40:16 · answer #7 · answered by gunplumber_462 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
No. They cannot and will not force contact.
My question to you is why you would want to force it. Your X would be resentful, and hateful toward the child if forced.
It is a shame for the child, but forcing it would be a tragedy.
2007-06-16 02:39:39 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋