how long should it take a man to get over the woman he loved that just broke up with him after 8 years?

Question

8 years 5 children and the woman breaks up with you....what do you do?....

Answer 1

How long? If she was your soulmate, your true love for life, then you will be over her as soon as they shovel some dirt on top of you. What do you do? Spend your remaining days being the best father you can be; with or without the woman who spent 8 yrs with you.

Answer 2

Depends on you. With kids involved it will take longer because its not over with them. Its more complicated. But put the kids first. You'll first need to get over the breakup, then to find your identity outside the relationship, and then to get on with life. It takes time, and patience. Know that its not anyones "fault" and theres never a good "reason" for it. People change. Lives diverge. Chapters end.

Find someone to talk it over with. On average, half your friends will have gone through something similar.

But you'll discover some freedom too. The inevitable compromises that are now gone. The opportunity to make a better life. And when you're past the hurts, the memories of the good times and a recognition there can be more. The new chapter begins.

My first wife pulled out after almost 11 years. But I moved on. And then I met someone even better.

Answer 3

Very painful, very hard TO get over. This happened to me as well. High school sweethearts, married right after high school, had two AWESOME sons...then she discovered ECSTASY and nightclubs. I wish there was ANY magic words to help but there aren't any. And probably any advice you won't listen to. (Not personal, just experiences..) It will take at least 6 months. But if you do ANYTHING at all, focus 100% on your children. It will help you in court and legally(not why you should do it though) but a man who loves his kids is EXTREMELY attractive to women. Give them your best through this and never put down thier mom, no matter what a SKANK she's become. You live right, live GREAT. Watch, that is the ONLY way to "get to her" If she sees you doing bad and sad...she has won. Good luck, this is the most difficult trial you'll ever experience. But I promise you, you'll be happier. You just can't see it, but SHE is out there and when you meet her, you'll laugh t the thought of losing even one minute over your ex!!! Take care

Answer 4

I found that after a break up, I went online and signed on for a dating service. I did not pay for it so that I would not be messaging people, but I found that when I went on and I found that some of the guys began to look cute, then I decided that it was time for me to let go. If I felt nothing when I saw the pictures, I knew that I was not ready to move past my relationship.
I had been married for 14 years and had 3 children. It took a very long time before I decided that I was ready to move on.
Look into your heart. If you feel that you are ready, then you are. But, if you have an emptiness, then you need to give yourself more time.

Answer 5

doesn't matter if you were soul mates or not , you can find a better soul mate that suit you better .it depends about the reasons for the break up , if the man was an asshole , emotional and mental abuser and he knew it he will not regret and blame but him self , or else he still doesn't have a heart to to feel a thing and will move on like nothing happened .or if he was a nice man probably he didn't take the seriousness of taking care of his wife seriously (emotional , and sexual)took her for granted , then it his fault again , women never leave or cheat on someone who cares and loves them sincerely ,they spend all there life looking for that someone they are not just gonna wast it specially when she had 5 kids with him , she was into it , so what about if he goes back and offer his apologies and wishes to change to the better i am sure she will have him back

Answer 6

Forget for a moment that the mother of the children left you voluntarily. Concentrate on the post-scenario. You love your children and that is your stark reality. The married ilife, such as it was, is now a dream and the children are the reality.In a story of Hindu mythology a devotee undergoes sex change and bears 60 sons and a daughter and then one fine morning he finds himself converted back to man -hook. Thenconversion and reconversion is no dream as the children of flesh and blood confront him.He seals up the dream(or reality) in a closed chamber of mind and attends to the upkeep of the children. Follow him. You will hardly have any time left for worry.Best of luck.

Answer 7

Wow five kids in 8 YEARS> ? Well you do all you can, you continue to be a father, you do not jump into another relationship, you deal with the one that just ended, you deal and you get closure. Every person is different, theres no set timeline, what ever is healthy time for you

Answer 8

Oh brother, that is a very hard question and there is no one answer to give.

A broken heart can last a lifetime, but will ease as time goes by.

The best thing to do now, is just let it settle and try to be as normal as possible for the children's sake.

this is going to effect them dearly, but you can soften the blow to them, by staying calm and continue to be the dad that they love and need.

I am a spiritual person so I have to add, put your trust in God to guide you through this..

Good luck..

Answer 9

It really depends on the man. I had a boyfriend who dated 3 years and he wanted marry me all these years, I was not able to marry, I finally turned him down, I pushed him away purposely so he can move on. He decided to marry in 2 months. To be honest with you, I was shocked. So it is up to the guy.

Answer 10

I am not sure about divorce, but it is said that it takes a year to really begin the healing process after a spouse dies. You must go through the calendar in order to get through anniversaries, birthdays, etc.
I have been there, done that, it is hard to get over someone, but it will get easier.
Good luck