two weeks ago, i had posted a question about my soon to be ex husband contacting me (he wanted space - wanted out of the marriage of 7 yrs. - got a gf, etc.). since getting the responses here, i have stopped communicating with him. this week again he sent me a couple emails about how poorly he was doing and left me a v.m. in which he sounded awful and said he would understand if i did not want to talk to him (but never saying he wants to come back). my heart broke when i heard his voice - i wanted to be there for him. now, i am very tempted to call him back. i know calling him will only leave me with pain and hurt. how do i stay strong and not give in to the temptation? how do i fight my instinct to take care of him (at my own expense)?
2007-06-15 19:39:25 · 19 answers · asked by stuck 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You don't know me but I am proud of you. You send like a strong sympathetic woman. That being said, breaking up is like dieting. It's hard to do without the bad foods, but those foods are bad for your body, heart, and self-esteem. You might mess up and cheat on your diet. Don't beat yourself up over it. You are human and just cause you cheat doesn't mean the whole diet is ruined. The longer you stay away from the bad foods the easier they are to avoid and the better you feel. When it's all over you will be much lighter, healthier, and happier. Good luck.
2007-06-22 11:23:57 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey take this from a mature woman that knows. If you talk to him you will be stuck. Change your email address, your phone numbers. He isn't having that tough of time with her, he just wants the best of both worlds. As long as you don't talk to him, then she can't really have him like she want him. Believe me ... once you start conversing with him, he'll be on cloud 9. This is also a way of him keeping you from having a life. Yes, he's with her, but he is also thinking of you. If he finds out you are with someone else, his life will be really uncomfortable. You don't need to feel bad for him. He didn't feel bad for you, when he kick you to the curb. Now his 7 year itch is beginning to ache. Stop sitting home wondering if you need to nurse the two timer back to health. Trust me, there's nothing wrong with him. He just don't know what you are doing or who you are seeing. Be strong, even if you have to cry all night long. If some how he get you on the phone... you tell him before he began to talk about his life that you was on your way out the door and you have something important to do. You will call him later. Then change your number. I will bet you that the fluzzy that he now live with will catch pure hell. Buy something pretty to wear, hold your head up and always sound like you are so busy or secrective. Momma says there's more than one way to skin a cat. He get what he gave. Just alittle more time and you'll be alright without him. But he won't be.
2007-06-21 23:12:51 · answer #2 · answered by Go GO Ressa 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I am so going through the same thing...Call anyone else... have a friend who knows the situation, and let her know that instead of calling him you are calling her. I find that just randomly calling people in my phone and asking them how they are doing really helps take my mind off how I am doing and the want to call him. Dysfunction is addicting just say NO!! lol... If no one is available to talk, come on here if you can and read some of the questions like the one you wrote, and think of how good your life is now that he is not in it. If he wanted out of the marriage, then let him out, he can't call you when he needs you, if he couldn't do til death do us part, in good times and bad.. He created this mess let him deal with it. Rely on a support system that is positive for you... You can do this!!! He is a big boy you took care of him for seven years now it is time for you to take care of you!!!!
2007-06-16 02:57:58 · answer #3 · answered by Nicole B 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It's really hard but you have to stay strong. I always try to "pshyche" myself into not doing it and keep thinking about the negative aspects of that relationship. Also keep yourself as occupied as possible even if you really don't feel like it cos believe me it does help to keep you from "solely" focusing on him. I think he likes to know he's still got some control over you and if you give in and ring him back i really don't think this will be the last time he'll try something like this and if this keeps up you'll never be able to move on and be happy!
Think positively about your future cos you can and will be happy if you truly focus on it and let go of the past cos he is only going to drag you down!
Good Luck~~~
2007-06-16 03:10:38 · answer #4 · answered by Mez 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
And......He KNOWS you are feeling sorry for him right now, and that is exactly what he wants. He took it for granted that he could leave, then if he changed his mind, you would be there. So, don't give in to him. Let him work out his problems with his girlfriend. The less contact you have with him now, the better. You need to distance yourself from him so you can get on with your life.
2007-06-16 03:09:46 · answer #5 · answered by che_rae_gra53 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Think of how he wanted out of after 7 yrs of being there for him, sweetheart, im glad that the experience hasnt left you emotionless but dont play the fool hon. Give it more time, once he isnt down and the breakup isnt so fresh then be his friend
2007-06-16 02:53:09 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Dont call him he's realizing that your being strong and he doesnt like loosing the power he has over you. Just remember he left you so he's not your problem anymore. Let his girlfriend take care of him. He's her problem now. You are a beautiful person who deserves a happy life, go find it.
2007-06-22 05:20:44 · answer #7 · answered by nynerprincess 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you will be hurting yourself. he doen'st want to come back he missed you like furntire. you are like used to each other and that is why he misses you. why would you go back and try again. hes told you that hes done and you should be on your way and finding someone new and being happy life has so many turns and this is n't wone to be there for him hes not there for you at all just when he needssomething. wake up smell the roses and get going girl
2007-06-21 22:23:56 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
if you call him yes it may cause you heartbreak, but eventually you will need to tell him exactly what you feel. im sure you both love each other still. im not saying u will get back together.. ok im getting off subject. if you really dont want to call him back yet. ( you will have to eventually (im assuming no kids are involved?))
hang out w/ ur girlfriends. ur girlfriends are always amazing and if you got out to a bar and have a couple drinks you can relax and let loose. you guys and even help each other plot revenge on all the guys that have ever hurt you in the past!!!
ps. sry this was really off subjust and random!!!
2007-06-16 02:48:22 · answer #9 · answered by haebae 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Away that i keep from calling is... Think of things you can do that would make you not think of him. Like talking to a friend or even doing things that make you happy with out him, i know that sometimes it can be real hard to do so cuz i think of it too, but stay Strong!!!
2007-06-16 02:45:46 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋