My husband and I seperated 3 months ago, I kicked him out because he's an abusive alcaholic. He's still drinking and I don't want him back, he does want to come back tho, but I have told him no. I have a friend who wants to "see" me. Since I am still married I have been putting it off, but since my husband and I no longer live together and it's basicly over would it be considered cheating if I started dating? I have filed for divorce, should I wait till it's final?
2007-06-15 18:59:12 · 26 answers · asked by funnychic30 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
the fact that you are posting this question makes me think that you are having doubts about whether you should "see" this person. although you might be tempted at this time to act (it could be based on many reasons: you like this person, you feel attractive, you feel wanted, or want to forget your husband, etc.), if i were in your position, i would pay attention to what the hesitancy is on your part (that little voice that says maybe not yet).
perhaps you are hoping to still salvage the marriage? perhaps you want your husband to clean up his act and come back? maybe you are still in love with him? three months is not a long enough time to heal from such an experience as you have gone through. maybe you should try to heal first before getting involved in another relationship which might not turn out to be what you expected and leave you in a worse state.
in any case, if there is any doubts you have about this situation, don't do it.
2007-06-15 19:28:00 · answer #1 · answered by stuck 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It's a personal decision really. The only person it matters too now is you. If you think your ex could find out about it though....he will think you kicked him out so you could be with your "friend", but if you don't care what he thinks...then why not.
Divorce at this point is just a formality. You are already divorced in your heart.
I would make sure that your friend knows all about what's going on. Especially, if he's going to have to put up with your ex coming around and giving you a hard time. Some people would rather not have to deal with a drunk ex at the front door.
If you don't feel like you are cheating...then who else cares right?
2007-06-15 19:09:24 · answer #2 · answered by ∞ sky3000 ∞ 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I met my husband when he was seperated from his ex wife. We had already been living together for year when their divorce was final. But having said that, until the divorce was finalized, I always felt like I was living with someone else's husband, (which i guess i was...lol), but it just felt kinda wrong. If I had to give someone advice about it, I would say to wait till it is finalized, it will seem less complicated. Good Luck!
2007-06-15 19:42:47 · answer #3 · answered by Brown_Eyed_Girl 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
In theroy I suppose it would be cheating as U R still married. But that doesn't mean much.
Caution is needed as well. It would or could give the abusive one a so called moral justification for doing abusive acts while U were together. On the other hand, lifes short and it's time to move on. If U can handle the comments and snide remarks that will surely come then to hell with him. Go for it. Your call.
2007-06-15 19:37:12 · answer #4 · answered by ub6 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Yes i would definatly wait untill it is final if not he can bring it up in court and make it look like your fault that your getting divorced. If this guy really likes you then he won't have a problem waiting for you right. Also it would probaly be good to spend a little time single before you move on to the next relationship!
2007-06-15 19:10:23 · answer #5 · answered by latasha_creech 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Yes, it's cheating. You weren't married until the ceremony was performed and the marriage license was issued, right? It doesn't matter how long you may have lived together beforehand. The same is true of divorce- you are still married no matter how long you've lived apart until the divorce is issued! If you care about doing what's right, wait until it's official!!!
2007-06-15 19:05:40 · answer #6 · answered by Anomaly 4 · 2⤊ 2⤋
Just wait until the divorce is final because that way u have time to revive urself and it'll give u time to figure out if ure really ready for the relationship.
2007-06-15 19:03:34 · answer #7 · answered by :) 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I would advice to wait until the divorce is leagalized. Since u hav filed for a divorce, its just a matter of few months or so.
If ur husband could collect any proof of ur relationship wid someone, he could even go to the extend of claiming the right for child custody.
Also, before you think of a divorce, please consider the after effects of it on ur child, his/her relationship with u and ur husband.
however, if u feel it is inevitable to go out with your friend, make sure you dont make some public scene.
so make a wise decision.
2007-06-15 19:31:08 · answer #8 · answered by WizGuyShyam 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If you have filed for a divorce and you know there is no hope of you all getting back together and if he is abusive i don't encourage it...then hell no its not cheating, girl you can't live your life waiting on the court system to get your divorce finalized to live your life....I say go for it and have fun just take it slow.....and lots of LUCK!!!
2007-06-15 19:06:15 · answer #9 · answered by Joann D 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I would wait until it's finalized, because your hubby could use your seeing someone else as leverage in your divorce proceedings: he could say you were seeing this other guy all along or something.
Plus, it's just respectful, even if you no longer love your husband, to wait until it's officially over.
2007-06-15 19:05:13 · answer #10 · answered by Frances 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋