What should I do?????

Question

I am American girl Married to a Sikh punjabi Man we live in the US but when it comes to him going home once a year I find my self feeling jealous because I dont want him to go Is it normal to not want to share my husband with his family?

Answer 1

Values are sacred. And values depend mostly on the way one has been brought up by one's own parents, and the social environment. Here in India, marriage is sacred. It is not just a union between a man and a woman but much much more than that. On marriage, both the girl and the boy vow not only to keep up the material promises (that go with the bondage) but also say (in so many words) that they would appreciate and respect the traditions of each other's family. By respecting the elders of your husband's family, you are enhancing your image in the eyes of your husband, and his parents too. By visiting them and understanding their culture, a new vision and vistas are before you.
Similar is his case also. So,unless both the husband and the wife start respecting the culture, tradition, values and ethics of the family of each other, their marriage would just be a union of two for material purposes.
Think for a moment. Think what will happen after 20 years hence. When you both beget children, what do you expect them ? Do you expect them to return your love or not? (though not in material terms). Your children may marry a sikh or an American born person, but they have to carry on the values that you and your husband cultivate from now. What will be that ? Will it be jettisoning parents on marriage?

You perhaps go once a year to his family. And that for a few days. You find his mother possibly too old, unable to resist tears flowing from her eyes, on seeing his son. Would you not share the joy of a mother seeing her son? Would u not be able to visualise such a situation after 20 or 25 years from now?
One marries not a sikh or an american. One marries a human being, with all emotions, so fondly cultivated by rich traditions. It would be better to view one's partner as another human, with all such emotions as one has.
Now decide for yourself.

Answer 2

I understand your feeling as I know Punjabis are extremely loving people in the world, eating drinking, making love & merry in life is the motto of ever Punjabi guy, Me too a Punjabi can understand your husband. Don't worry he is a very faithful man won't go away, just let him share some love for his other family members as giving love is the life line of a Punjabi & by stopping him to do so you'll be breaking his life line & I know you won't like to do so. Don't worry with we Punjabis there is enough love to share it with the whole world so you won't feel left deprived of his love. Best of luck. One thing more become Punjabi like him & do as he does, eat, drink, make love & be happy.

Answer 3

Yes it's absolutely normal. (at least in my case) i have been married for 10 years now......and i am still (not obsessively) jealous. It takes time to get used to the fact that your husband is someone else's brother or son or uncle too and there's no harm in sharing that.

Answer 4

Wow...lol.. You know its a good news for your HUSBAND coz you actually care about him so much that you dont want to share him with anyone for long. But you know dear, These things might upset your hubby more coz he wud have a special place for his family in his heart.
Its all because you might haven't met your IN-LAWS properly, so try mixing up with them by acoompaning your husband to PUNJAB.
You this step will increase affection for you in your husbands heart because a man has two aspects of family(nowadays)- WIFE and Parents.
If you initiate by treating them more finely, your husband will be more affectionate wid you. So, its your chance to prove your love for your husband.
Bestof Luck. Enjoy.

Answer 5

if you feel jealous, either go with him, or get over it. It is his family after all. You knew what you were in for when you got married.It sounds to me like you have some self esteem problems. You need to trust that your husband will come back and that he will be faithful while he is there

Answer 6

hey dear why u don't want him to go yaar

see once in a year is not a big deal 4 u

he has some responsiblty towards his family tooooo

and after all he is your and he loves u

tel me one thing u don't hav faith on your love if u hav than let him go and be happy with him and love and care him more dear

faimly is a very imp part in everybodies life

his parents hav given u such a nice and care person so u should respect and love them tooo

hope u can understand dear


byeeeeeeee


may god bliss u and shower his love to u

Answer 7

Nope thats not normal . You sound like your jelous of him having a family. Why don't you ask to go with him a few times and meet them. Being included should stop you from feeling that way

Answer 8

u r being jealous, grow up, its not fair to stop yr hubby from visiting his family once in a while. i hope that u love yr hubby, if thats true then love his family too, if it was not 4 them then you would have not got him in the first place, if u keep this in mind then u will love his family and so yr problem of jealousy will be over..... take care bye

Answer 9

Your feelings are normal, your jealousy is justified, but u need to rise above these feelings, specially if u want to keep your marriage going smoothly, it is a intercaste, inter-country marriage. More trust, love and much more inputs are required from your side.

Answer 10

Why don't you go visit his family with him?
You are being jealous and possessive to keep him from his family. this is the correct thing u need to do.....