asking, is over 50 SOMETIMES...men or women may marry so that someone will take "care of them"...Let's just say...you have already been married once???? I realize there are "caring homes" if something happens...But??? what is your take on re-marrying????
2007-06-15 17:31:51 · 16 answers · asked by sweet 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If you find the person that you love and you are compatible then yes, if you want to remarry then you should. Yes there are cases where men and women might marry so that someone will take care of them but in most cases they do it because they truly love the other person. Just because you are over 50 does not mean that you have to be alone the rest of your life nor that you do not have needs just like anyone else.
2007-06-15 17:47:01 · answer #1 · answered by susie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it depends on what the motivation is. I don't think that getting married again just so that you will be "taken care of" is good enough. Not for me anyway. I am also over 50, and if I were to become widowed or divorced, and I met the kind of man I knew I could happily spend the rest of my life with, then yes. Of course at our age I don't think we are ever going to find that all encompassing, romantic love again, but a loving companion would be a blessing. I've become so used to being married that I am not sure how I would cope with just having myself to care about. My children are all grown, and don't really need me anymore, although they are always visiting, they have their own lives to live. I think that whether you have been married before or not, at our age if you find someone you would not mind waking up next to each day, and can honestly say you enjoy their company, then I would think that no matter how old you are, marriage is a good idea. I know two dear old people in their 70's who recently got married, and they are like little kids with each other, so happy to once again have someone in their lives.
2007-06-16 01:14:35 · answer #2 · answered by sparrow 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As someone who has definitely passed that half century mark (yep -- will admit it) -- here are my thoughts on this question:
For MYSELF -- I had a short disaster of a marriage to an abusive, violent, sociopathic ex -- and after purchasing my way out of that during the Divorce Process ... having had to work HARD all my life, where MY income (and yes, I am FEMALE) Was the SOLE income to support myself/my children ... and now where I am RETIRED and enjoying MY Pensions ...
I would NOT Want to sacrifice MY Freedoms, have to worry about a gold-digging greedy jerk in my life or my home (and yes, I do own my home) .. for any MALE ... period. I LIKE being Single .. and that is the way I WANT to live my life!
IF one finds a partner that is willing to love and cherish them and they feel the same way -- after 50 should not make a difference -- let them be.
IF it is because they are afraid -- want a sugar-daddy (or sugar-momma) or they are needy -- that is WRONG -- and no marriage should go forth -- the ONLY person who will be EXTREMELY HURT through this is the one who cared -- and the other -- well when the going gets tought -- they LEAVE and take everything with them (Sad commentary -- but have seen it happen).
IF something happens -- I have MY SIBLINGS to rely upon -- they DO Care and will care for me for sure.
2007-06-15 17:42:11 · answer #3 · answered by sglmom 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think there's anything wrong with getting married after 50. Just that some reasons (like marrying so someone will take care of you) may not pay out like you expected. Getting married or being married doesn't mean someone will take care of you. It could just as easily mean you need to take care of someone, or one of you needs care but the other doesn't want to or isn't capable of doing this.
A positive possibility to marriage so late in life is that by that age odds are you're both ready to settle down, you know who you are, what you want in romance, friendship and companionship, and who is right for you. Also if you have been working all your life you may want to leave the SS you earned to a companion rather than it going to waste.
If you decide to remarry after 50, I hope you do so because you love & care deeply about each other . Because in your golden yrs. I think what will be most rewarding is a cherished companion. (Regardless of who takes care of who)
Of course there are things to consider before re-marrying so late in life. Things like: Do you have grown children or any inheritance that you want to remain in your family? If she's a widow, would she be giving up her late husbands pension or SS in order to get married? Things like this?
If so, It might make more sense to just be together yet stay unmarried.
I guess if you or she are devoutly religious, remaining single growing old alone, is the only alternative to marriage you know of. In that case all you need to decide is what is most valuable to you? Is she worth it, the right lady?
2007-06-15 18:38:34 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's all part of the considerations. There is a very good chance in a matter of 10 years, one spouse's health will deterioriate despite most people still want to focus on the lovey dovey stuff. "taking care of someone" also could mean financial. A person better set for retirement (having properties and retirements) is attractive to others who are not.
A big factor has to do with the grown up kids from both sides. They have a stake in their parents' health (whether to go to nursing homes or what) and inheritance (having a new spouse causes a lot of anxiety on the children's side for fear of financial exploitations).
2007-06-15 17:52:42 · answer #5 · answered by Sir Richard 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I may be reading this wrong and if I am I apologize, but it sounds like you don't want to remarry because you don't want to take care of your wife if something should happen! Nursing homes are available, but they are not caring homes!
If you have an issue with caring for your mate as in better or worse, then don't remarry! If you don't trust your prospective mate to be marrying you for love and vice versa, than do not remarry.
I hope you find the mate that will enrich this chapter of your life and make new memories and have new adventures with, and make you glad to be there for them if they should become ill and need help.
Oh, and be there for you if/when you become ill or incapacitated!
2007-06-15 17:47:11 · answer #6 · answered by dizzkat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please do remarry. I've tried to confince my mother to remarry she's 48, she doesn't want to because she thinks she's too old, but my arguement is that there are a lot of other men her age who are alone as well, and I'm sure they think the same way she does. Marriage has never been about love, because we all know love can fade away and what gradually stays is the love without the "inlove." Marriage is about companionship, a friend who will be your date if you want to say attend a wedding. Just a friend who cares about you
2007-06-15 17:38:02 · answer #7 · answered by Leo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first of all 50 is not old...it all depends on how well you take care of yourself...trust me some men still look mighty fine at 50! since u are not married, take this opportunity to look great and get a younger woman.
2007-06-15 17:39:05 · answer #8 · answered by Meg 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is nothing wrong with getting married after 50, it doesn't matter if there were previous marriages or not. It's a matter of how the couple feels, mutually.
2007-06-15 17:39:20 · answer #9 · answered by Milkaholic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if your in love there shouldn't be any reason why you don't get married. I don't think that you should get married so that someone will take care of you tho
2007-06-15 17:37:55 · answer #10 · answered by Ladybug355 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋