I have a friend that prides himself on how totally nonjudgemental he is. Tonight I had dinner with him and a married friend of ours. The married guy has a great wife and he is cheating on her. He asked for our opinions. Jason,(Mr nonjudgemental) really likes our friends wife, I could tell he wanted to bash married man about the affair. Yet, to stay true to character he said things like," I sometimes feel Im so nonjudgemental its a handicap. I just want good things for both of you, but I can't comment on the affair. I'd never judge someone." My advice was end the affair or tell your wife and let her decide whether she wants to stay or not. Jason really pissed me off. He acts SO righteous its sickening. In your opinion is he a better person for not passing judgement. Is giving advice passing judgement? I do not feel I judged married man, I gave advice. Opinions? Thanks
2007-06-15 17:20:12 · 12 answers · asked by salinger 4 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Philosophy
It sounds to me Jason is a self righteous hypocrite who wants the easy way out of life. To maintain his righteousness he proudly says he is non judgemental.
As a result you can't rely on a word he says.
As for you, I would rather you express a view, even if it is contrary to mine, at least I would know where I stood with you.
Good luck with your friends.
From somewhere far across the water.
2007-06-15 17:36:45 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think it is a virtue to aspire for. Maybe not in the way you percieve your friend somehow wanting praise or glory for it ..but in the way things are always more complicated than they seem and maybe he is saying in essence..until you walk in someone else's shoes..don't judge. Usually there is 2 sides. What is the wife's role? You don't really know. Maybe they don't love each other. People always put on a good/best face when out socially. You just don't know. I'm not saying you feel great about it or happy for them or even may decided to CHOOSE that certain people aren't good for YOUR life. Judgement is good when you ned to make decision for what kind of people and what situations you want for yourself. I don't think it is ever healthy to give unsolicited advice. Perhaps you should ponder on why you feel so affected by your married friends situation....They each have their own lessons to learn. And also why you wish you friend would be more gossipy?
2007-06-16 02:52:41 · answer #2 · answered by monkey 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is not wise for anyone to be totally nonjudgmental. It is wiser to know when to judge and when to not do so. Also it is wise
to know that whatever goes through our brains doesn't have to come out of our mouths.
You are sure of your convictions and you know when it is proper or not proper to judge.
Please don't let this selfrightous friend steal your joy. Ignore his ignorencel; He has a huge problem. Not you. His words and actions will prove to people that he is a jerk without wisdom or conviction. Let his ignorence roll right off your back
You were asked for your advice by the cheating guy. And you had every right to say your peace. I would probably of said......."What part of the marriage vows don't you understand?..... Love, honor, respect and be faithful to..."
The cheater is a jerk and the no judgmental guy has no balls to stand up for what is right or wrong. He is proud of being nonjudgmental, but actually it is a cop out becasue he isn't sure of his own feelings.
2007-06-15 19:08:48 · answer #3 · answered by clcalifornia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If Jason's wife were cheating on HIM, he'd be judgemental.
So in actuality, he's not nonjudgemental, just non-caring.
He's non-caring because he is selfish (not his problem), cowardly (afraid of offending a friend), dispassionate (truly doesn't care about that act), or guilty (he's cheated himself).
Or he's bluffing.
To more directly answer your question, one who is perfectly non-judgemental is dead. Judgement allows one to avoid stupidity, greed, exploitation, hate, and danger. It also allows one to determine friendship, compatability, trustworthiness, and safety. Lack of judgement would be fatal sooner or later.
2007-06-15 19:51:13 · answer #4 · answered by freebird 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your friend asked for your opinion, and you gave it.
I can't find any fault in that. Concerning advice, the
gentle judge passes judgement, but does not
invoke a sentence. In other words, as long as you
don't assume the role of executioner then you gave
advice just as your friend asked.
2007-06-16 12:44:40 · answer #5 · answered by active open programming 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
NO.....giving advice is not a judgement. He asked, you gave your opinion. Your friend is a coward and insecure. He just uses that he is "non-judgemental"to cover the fact he is split inside on decision making, so he choses not to answer. You did fine!
2007-06-15 17:36:26 · answer #6 · answered by TBECK 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Not really a 'virtue'. More like a knowing thing. Its about Perspective.
2007-06-15 17:25:22 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like your friend is not naturally non judgemental as she says she is. Either you are or you are not and you keep quiet about it. Otherwise, it is for show and you are screaming out to be favorably judged!
2007-06-15 17:37:46 · answer #8 · answered by Mag 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Being non-prejudgmental can be good. Being non-judgmental is extremely idiotic.
2007-06-15 18:27:03 · answer #9 · answered by shmux 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are right and people like your friend contribute nothing to our society. Attitudes like his facilitate evil.
2007-06-15 17:28:26 · answer #10 · answered by Zatoichi 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋