What age are your children and how have you warned them about stranger danger?

Question

For want of a better phrase.
My girl really thought a man took you because he wanted a child.
I told her at 9 that some men take girls knickers off. What else can I do?
Make it rosy, or make it too truthfull?

LOL Cynthia I love it! And they are right to carry your wonderful teachings on. You clever woman, mine will learn that tomorrow when they wake, thank you.

Answer 1

yopu did right
i warned my daughter about strangers earlier than i told my sons , i did not intend it its just how it happened
I was told by a neighbour that a peadophile had moved into my street 3 doors away from me , and he began to try and get friendly with my boys , i told them he would hurt them and was pretty graphic about what he would do
my boys were around 8 and 10 at the time i considered that my boys were better to be scared than abused by him , they stayed well away from him and he was later sent to prison ( again ) on child abuse charges
some of my friends said i was too harsh but i beleive i was doing my best to keep them safe and it worked

Answer 2

You know your daughter best, so you need to decide what she will understand without being frightenend. You do need to make it clear that its a very rare thing to happen, but its better to be safe than sorry.

My daughter is 4, ive explained that not everyone is nice, some people are just mean to other people, and that she should never ever talk to a stranger or go anywhere with a stranger.

We have talked about maddy mccan, she wanted to know why she was missing, so i told her that she was lost and her mummy and daddy were frightened because they couldnt find her. explained that she may have been found by someone not very nice who may not love her and take care of her like her mum and dad did. i didnt tell her that she was snatched out of bed, I didnt want her to be scared of bed time. But I did want her to be aware that strangers arent all nice like me and her dad are.

I dont feel at 4 she is ready to be told about peadophiles, but I will tell her when she learns more about sex when she is older.

Answer 3

I really think that you should be totally honest with her but just put it into words that she can understand. Tell her that most men are nice but some are 'naughty' and give her some kind of 'plan' for if she's in a difficult situation.
For example - God Forbid that a man should try to abduct her, but if he did she should run into the nearest shop and tell the lady behind the counter that she is lost and needs her to call mummy.
I think making it 'rosy' is wrong. Kids aren't stupid and they need to be aware that this is a dangerous world. They can handle that as long as they have your support.

Answer 4

babysham - i did exactle the same with my daughter. i told her exactly what could happen and hopefully the shock would make her wary of strangers.
she is 6 and has been watching all the news re. Maddie. I think kids SHOULD be made aware of the dangerous world. its our job to protect our children and we should do everything in our power to make sure this happens. Unfortunately we live in a world where these weirdos are very very clever with how they speak to children. gaining children's trust is very easy for them with the right words i imagine so its up to us to always be with our children or make sure we know where they are and there should be NO exception to that.

Answer 5

My son is 6 & i've told him never to speak to strangers. Have told him to yell loudly for me that someone is bothering him if ever a stranger starts talking, touching him & to rush to a lady. I'm a paranoid Mummy & don't let him out of my sight. While hubby & i are at work, hes with my Mum. My mum-in-law teaches at his school & checks regularly on him. i love Cynthia's SSS too & will spread it around!
PS: How could you not tell that Charlie was an imposter?????! xx

Answer 6

I heard a story when Mum found films on the related topic and her daughter was aware of lots of bad things with ordinary people. I liked that. Nowadays we all scared to the bone especially with girls. 9 years just look a small number but if you take Madelaine story..... Truth in the right amount is harsh but necessary (i think)

Answer 7

My 3 year old knows he is not to wonder away from our house - I give him the reason that 'a bad man might steal him and hurt you' and that it is 'dangerous to wonder away'. I don't go into any further details. My 7 year old however, I give the same advice but do tell him about instances where kids have been kidnapped and never seen again or sometimes found strangled to death. I don't go into details about what the perverts do though. Its so dreadful, I don't want to put that filth into his head yet - he understand from what I've told him never to wonder away from me and not to speak to strangers.

Answer 8

I told all of my children if anyone they didnt know well tried to put their hands on them to do the 3 S's. Stare-Scream and Scram. The stare part is to get alook at them so you can give the description to the police. My children are now 51, 47, 41 and 40. They tell their children the same thing.

Answer 9

I sure wouldn't scare the crap out of a youngster just because I was paranoid. If you do your job as vigilant parents, a 4 year old doesn't need to worry about pedophiles - that's her parents' job!

Answer 10

well you;ve done the right thing but at 9 you should be able to sit them down and talk about these things talk about it when you go shopping with them anywhere even let them look at the news but dont law it on to thick cause it would become a bother to them so keey doing what your doing .