My wife is pregnant and stressed ..help!?

Question

My wife is 18 weeks pregnant and will not stop working hard and shes getting very stressed!. Yes she's a carrer girl but its time to stop, her consultant says stop! but shes afraid to upset work.. Two weeks now she been in tears most nights...I'm hoping GP may sign her off, any thougths?

Answer 1

Sit her down and make her listen to you. Tell her you know she is a career woman and you know she is good at her job but her job is now changing to the most important one you can ever have, the growing of your beautiful baby. Tell her if she continues she will risk the baby's health and at the very worst lose the baby. Tell her you are scared also but you know that together you will both handle any problems and you will always be there to help her out. She may be feeling a bit of fear now the pregnancy and birth is going to be a reality and is torn between the safe life she knew and had control over and the need for this baby and the fear and uncertainty having children for the first time brings.

The tears can be from hormones but hers sound like she is in a conflict situation within. She may be fighting a fear of being pregnant and her role totally changing. It can be a very overwhelming situation for women. I went through the same with both of my pregnancy as I had absolutely NO family or friends to support us as we were moving across continents and the world at the time of both births! It is a very scary time!!!

Give her your love, always give her the offer of a hug even though she may not seem like she wants it......listen to her tears and her ranting if she does that......hold her when she needs you to...and always show that you are the strong man she married in her time of need!! Don't worry you will both be looking back on this time in years to come as a blur that sorted itself out on its own.

If she seems to be getting more depressed as opposed to exhausted then bring this to the attention of your Dr. She may suffer with depression through and past her pregnancy. I had to have HRT for a few weeks to balance my hormones as I went into panic attacks with the births.

Signing her off may be a good idea but she wont be grateful to you or the Dr for taking away her little bit of reality I suspect. Try and find really good reasons why it will be good for her but not related to the baby.....like she can finish the stuff she's had no time to for ages, she can visit friends and join mum to be clubs and go shopping and for walks. She can meet you every day for lunch if she likes or go to a swimming keep fit club for pregnant women and she can just relax and enjoy life. If she is always a hard worker she will need things to make her feel like she isn't being idle and isn't becoming bored. Get her to research her family tree and get interested too...anything that takes her mind off her feelings of stress etc......

All the very best I am sure you will work it out together and good luck with the birth etc!!!

Answer 2

Many women have a "I can handle it." mentality or think "I am not trying hard enough. I should be able to do this."

Stress and overwork is a cause of miscarriage. Period. I personally know two executive women who were dedicated to their jobs, excited about their pregnancies, but believed that everything would be fine simply because they "willed" it to be so. Both of them lost children. Their physicians told them that it was due to their workload and lack of rest.

I would take her to the doctor immediately, go with her and have him place the facts squarely before her. She MUST take it easier. It's no reflection on her personally. Her body is working overtime while she is doing nothing. It's working at an incredible level when she is working extra hours, not getting sleep, etc.

Also, being afraid of your workplace when you have a legitimate health need shows that there is underlying hostility or abuse in the workplace. If you give advance notice of your condition, work to help them transition for the maternity leave and are still "afraid" of them, they are acting improperly and probaby illegally.

Answer 3

Oh, the poor dear. :-) Well, you just need to convince her that she already is doing a fulltime job. Her heart rate is elevated by about 10 beats per minute, round the clock. So her body feels as though she's walking around, even when she's asleep in bed.

The book "The Secret Life of the Unborn Child" has some new information about helping the baby's future health by staying as un-stressed as possible. They are even finding that stressed mums produce stressed babies sometimes, so perhaps that will convince her to take it easy.

Answer 4

please do not despair there are many methods to protect her if she does not want to stop working then she can ask for lighter duties and her company would be stupid in this (sue everyone) enviroment not to comply with her wishes also you too must pull out all the stops to help her (this you are probably doing already) and if she goes to the GP,s and explains her current stressful situation then they will certainly sign her off work at least until her stress levels return to normal then you also have another weapon in your arsenal if your wife is a carer I'm assuming that she cares for the elderly (although this is not crucial) and in general carers are required to lift patients in and out of beds/wheelchairs this she cannot do any more, not even with the safe lift equipment. so she can ask her GP to issue another letter for when/if she returns to work before the baby's due then the lifting stress is at least over. . . . i hope this helps and good luck

Answer 5

Just try and remind her that stressing out so much is not good for her OR the baby. Remind her about the big picture, the family... not the job. Also, make sure you tell her in a loving, kind manner and let her know you will be there for her always.

Answer 6

just recvently took Heath in school, and it said it5 is normal for mothers-to-be who already have their career going will act like this. But she needs to listen to her body!

It is not bad to work while you are pregnant, unless it is something too strenuous.

If her boss is telling her to take it easy, he will understand her leave. She needs to listen to her body and eat when she needs to, lay down, or sleep when her body tells her to.

Stress isn't good for the baby and can be very harmful. Sit her down one day at dinner, make her favorite meal, and give her a shoulder massage, or rub her feet, take her on a romantioc date. most men don't do this once their wife/fiancee/girlfriend is pregnant, but it can make all the difference.

Answer 7

Sounds like she may thrive on hard work and may get upset if she has to stop. I'm sure she's OK - every pregnant woman deals with lots of stress, whether she's working or not, and stress has not been shown to increase chances of miscarriage.

Answer 8

I suggest just talking to her and making her understand that the stress she's going through might cause problems to the baby, so she should stop wrking so much and relaxing so the baby could be healthy,

Best of wishes!

Answer 9

her hormones are on a roller coaster.
She might be a strong business woman, but she needs to take responsibility for her body I am not sure how you can convience her of this except have her doctor adise her on gettig plenty of rest and cut back on the intensity of her job.
Get some books about pregnancy and have her read about what it is like to be pregnant.

Answer 10

I think you're on the right track - she probably needs an authority figure, such as her doctor, to order her to stop or seriously cut back. Give the doc a call and let him/her know your concerns.