So I have been in this relationship for 4 years and i am curious when should we think about marriage and how should it be brought up?
2007-06-15 11:31:22 · 13 answers · asked by RAZZEL-DAZZEL 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Well we are not living together becuase he is saving up to buy a house and i am saving up to buy a car, but he will have his house by the end of summer and i will have my car by then too, so we'll be living together then. neither of us are in debt or have financial problems to this point.
and i am 20 and he is 27 and has his career going and i am still going to school getting my bachlor's.
I dont want to get married now but would like to get engaged. i just dont know how.
2007-06-15 11:51:41 · update #1
Judging by this question, you are ALREADY thinking abou it!
Now might be a good time?!
You can sit down and have a serious discussion (might scare him though) or you could try bringing it up in a spontaneous way.
For example:
Next time you see parents with kids, tell him how cute they look. Ask him if he likes kids? Mention how happy they look together. Judging by his enthusiasm/response you can get a good idea of whether he is receptive to further discussion.
2007-06-15 11:37:49 · answer #1 · answered by Matt 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well 4 years is definitely enough time to have gotten to know one another. But you have to decide if you are ready for marriage. For one, are you already living together? That's the biggest step and if you are, you might as well be married. The other thing that is SO important to think about is both of your debt to income ratios. Does your b/f have a lot of debt? Do you? Are you ready to take on his debts and problems? Because they will become yours and vice versa. Is he ready for yours? Are there kids involved? Your own or from previous relationships? That's something else that needs to be considered? Talk about these things with him and see how he feels about marriage. If he isn't ready don't force him but kindly ask him to tell you what holds him back? Marriage is always a hard topic when no one brings it up, so good luck to you.
2007-06-15 18:38:41 · answer #2 · answered by mshavik 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that if you are serious about wanting to get married you should tell him that you feel as though it is time that you start talking about it.
Men like women who are direct and tell them exactly what is expected of them.
I would simply sit him down, prepare him in advance to have a serious conversation and tell him "Hon, this is what I want my life to look like 3 years from now...I would like to have a career and be married. I love you and I believe you are the one I want to be married to, so I would like to talk about getting engaged....what do you think about that?"
I think it is more than appropriate to talk about getting married at this point in your relationship and I also think that I wouldn't make a ton of excuses not to.
If he is going to buy a house and you are going to buy a car and you are going to graduate from school anyways, what difference does it make if you do it before or after these things? If you have some personal motivation to do things in a certain order, then that's fine...but don't be worried about bringing up the issue or timing or anything.
Anyone who has been married knows that the biggest part of being married is not only having a partner to do the fun things with but having a partner to go through the stressful times with...there is never a "perfect time" to do anything...you will never have enough money or enough time...you just have to make it happy and run with it.
Good luck!
2007-06-15 19:22:56 · answer #3 · answered by joellemoe 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You've been together 4 years? I would have brought it up a year ago personally. That's just a long time to wait without knowing where it's going. And I got married in my early twenties and we are very happily married. Age does not necessarily matter in every instance.
2007-06-15 18:44:28 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
When should you think of marriage when you feel that its the right person, how should it be brought up is one of those things that is "pass the peas im pregnant" kind of subject. You either let it slip out in a passing conversation or you are upfront and ask the question. Depends on each persons personality.
2007-06-15 18:35:32 · answer #5 · answered by 20+ years and still in-love! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be straight forward and honest. Just tell him you want to talk about the future and where you stand in his life. If you want marriage tell him. This could make or break your relationship for you have to stand firm if he sees the relationship as something different than you want you might have to break it off with him. You deserve what you want and if he cannot give it to you move on. Be strong and know no matter what it will work out for the best.
2007-06-15 18:37:56 · answer #6 · answered by matthew b 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depending on your age, after 4 years it should have been touched on all ready.
If you're ready then you should bring it up and ask him what does he see in the future for the two of you.
If you want something you have to ask for it....or it may never happen.
2007-06-15 18:37:50 · answer #7 · answered by daljack -a girl 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Now is the time, my dear. Four years is long enough to be single if you love this guy. Try a good conversation about being togeather (Marriage).
2007-06-15 18:46:29 · answer #8 · answered by David M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should think about marriage when you're ready. How to bring it up? You could ask him how he feels about you two getting married, and go from there.
2007-06-15 18:43:39 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask him if he's ever thought about getting married. It will at least get the conversation going. Maybe he will give it some thought and thing will get going.
2007-06-15 18:38:37 · answer #10 · answered by TLHGSS6 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋