For the last 6 years I have dealt with a husband that lies, spends money, screws up our financies in general and expects me to do everything for him. He thinks because he has done good for a few weeks that I should overlook all these years and not make him pay for them by not forgiving him right now. He thinks I need to been in love with him even though he has ripped me to the core so many times. I'm tired, not happy and just want things better. But I can't just leave, I am trying to finish school to get my life better, and better for my two girls. What do you think?? Am I wrong to try to make my life better for all the hell I've been through with him....and then move on for myself???
2007-06-15 10:38:28 · 10 answers · asked by ? 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
The question is are you going to make your life better by staying with him even longer? I know you feel like you need him to help you finish school and otherwise, but the reality is the best way to get out of a hard situation is to have a clear head. It sounds like you've been putting up with a lot and I think it's hard to gain perspective when you're in a relationship that's self-sabotaging. I think that you need to evaluate your options and seek out help on your own. Having a plan will strengthen your choices and make it easier for you to leave and seek out your own happiness. So, I say - plan it, then go for it!! Good luck.
2007-06-15 10:49:43 · answer #1 · answered by whatif 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
OMG! I am in the exact same situation except without the kids and the lies. He hasn't worked in the last 8 months we were supposed to be getting married in December. I broke it off yesterday, and now I am regretting it--because I love him and am in love with him. He started making changes 3 weeks ago and expected me to just forget everything. But, I need him to prove to me that he is ready and willing to be responsible and present in my life and in any future we have together. So we are separated - until both of us feels that positive enough changes have been made that we should continue to pursue a relationship. So my advice is don't make a decision based on his words or actions for such a short amount of time. Wait until you see a serious change for a consistent amount of time.
2007-06-15 17:57:10 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow...you are a bitter woman...If you want to save your marriage and do what is right for your kids you should go get some counseling. Not just for him, but for you as well. I know your type. There is nothing that you husband can do to make you happy now, because you will always hold on to the past and constantly remind him of it. Get some help...
2007-06-15 17:43:52 · answer #3 · answered by dyer4dolphins 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I don't think it is wrong to ever try to better yourself, but if you are not happy, then you need to leave. If you stay and are not happy, then you are just making things worse for you and the kids.
2007-06-15 17:43:32 · answer #4 · answered by Susan R 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You cant be wrong to make the life better for you and especially for the kids .... But ...
Listen to your heart ! We cant help you , we don't know what you know ... Just listen to your heart and do what it tells you .
I hope you will be happy ...
Personally I would take my kids and get away as far as I can ... move on ...
2007-06-15 17:50:25 · answer #5 · answered by ? 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you aren't ready to go, you aren't ready to go.
I had a similar situation, but somewhat in reverse. My exhusband did similar things as yours and I wanted a divorce....but I waited a year for my ex- husband to get his act together so he could financially stand on his own....and then I kicked him to the curb.
If you need the time--you need the time. Take it.
2007-06-15 17:47:43 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are on track with your life and the best to you, HE'S a jerk and you are wasting your time with him so now you need to get a divorce lawyer to finish the job.
2007-06-15 17:57:37 · answer #7 · answered by kim t 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Only you know the answer to that. When it gets too hot in the kitchen it's time to leave.
2007-06-15 17:43:33 · answer #8 · answered by Irish 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No. Get your life together and live it.
2007-06-15 17:45:35 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Gee, what a massive justification for blatantly using someone like that. Leave him now and let him find a real woman.
2007-06-15 17:49:32 · answer #10 · answered by terry m 3 · 1⤊ 4⤋