then two hours back at night with all 3 of his kids..... I don't feel well and get stressed out being in a car... I really don't want to go, BUT he insists I go. It is his Birthday in 2 days which he says I will ruin if I don't go...also that he will be very upset if I don't go.
What would you do???????
2007-06-15 10:08:42 · 49 answers · asked by isis 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
OK!! I'm going...but I'll be thinking of all of you when I'm throwing up!!
BTW I moved all the way across the country so we could be closer to his kids, MY decision and we see them every other week...AND my stepdaughter won't know the difference if I'm there or not; she's obsessed with her boyfriend and dosen't even want to come back to our house.....
AND we have to wait till the scholl dance is over and then she'll decide if she;s comining over.
2007-06-15 10:22:27 · update #1
These people that have answered you obviously only know part of your story... you should be able to do what you feel comfortable doing.
You have sacrficed many things for this man and his kids and possibly they haven't returned the love and concern you have for them.
2007-06-18 09:08:15 · answer #1 · answered by sierra 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marriage is about compromise.
His children are important to him. I'm assuming they are not your kids, but you knew they were a part of his life when you married him. Package deal.
It is honorable that he wants to be there for his children.
He is honoring you by wanting you to be by his side at a time he feels is important. You need to show a united front. Those kids will always be a part of his life. You might as well join him in this effort as if you two stay together, you will continue to see these kids for the rest of your life on special occasions.
If you do not go, then you look like you don't care about his needs or the kids.
So, go get yourself all dolled up, buy a new outfit and go!
You'll make him a happy man and make points with those kids in the long run.
Find a way to deal with the car trip. Two hours is not that long of a time. Maybe strike a deal for a stay over somewhere for you so you don't have to do the trip all in one day. If the kids are with their mother, then maybe you two could stay somewhere alone together and take them all the next day.
As for myself, I would find some good music and headphones, a nice pillow and tune out for the ride. Make sure your H provides some kind of entertainment for the kids, such as some games, a dvd player or such.
2007-06-15 14:37:32 · answer #2 · answered by joyh 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please go. Showing support for his daughter is most likely interpreted by him as showing love for him. Marriage is a partnership the sometimes requires people to do things that they don't enjoy to support the other party.
I'm sure it's very important to the daughter to have her Dad there. It could be that hubby wants you there because it is stressful for him to go alone because of dynamics concerning his ex.
If you can afford it, split the trip up with a hotel stay where the kids can play in the pool and release some energy before the trip back home.
Good luck. I hope that you can work this out so that everyone has fun and nobody gets their feelings hurt.
2007-06-15 10:16:03 · answer #3 · answered by browneyedgirl623 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would go. You and your husband have a relationship and your husband is a father that has a relationship with his kids. I don't mean to sound ugly or anything but they are a package deal that you should have accepted prior to marriage. I assumed the kids were not your kids because you used the words "his kids". Some fathers won't drive around the corner to see their kids. His daughter can only graduate eighth grade once and I don't see the harm in you going. Be glad he wants to share this moment with you. His daughter may appreciate it also. God Bless!
2007-06-15 10:19:27 · answer #4 · answered by flirty30 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have time to talk with your doctor he/she may be able to give or recommend you take something for the trip. Sounds to me like you have anxiety attacks as well as nausea when riding in the car and your nerves will be shot if you do not address the issues before the outing. And that will not be pleasant for anyone.
If you can not get with your doc before the event, run down to the drugstore and ask the pharmacist for advice. They can advise you on over the counter meds that may help. Good Luck and I hope the event is pleasant for all :)
2007-06-15 10:57:51 · answer #5 · answered by loving_life 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You married this man and you need to go. You married his children and they need to see you in a loving supportive way. Take a motion sickness pill and go. He needs you. Force a smile on your face, fake it all day, then crash when you get home where no one can see you. This is a special time for his kids. Make sure you set the example. Your husband will love you for it. It's not about you-it's about his daughter. Make sure this is one of the happiest days of her life.
2007-06-15 10:13:40 · answer #6 · answered by Mary L 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
His kid has an event that he wants to go to the least you can do is suck up and ride in the car.. bring something in the car to take up time like music or a book. He will probably be really happy if you go especially if he knows you hate being in the car..just do it for him.
2007-06-15 10:24:53 · answer #7 · answered by steph 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If I were you..I'd go with him. You DO support him as your husband as well as his kids in all they do.. RIGHT?? If you agree.. suggest a compromise with him. If you are uncomfortable in the car for long periods of time.. just ask him to be thoughtful of your needs and stop on the way.. here and there.. so you can get some fresh air and stretch your legs.
2007-06-15 10:13:52 · answer #8 · answered by Christine 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you really resent his kids because of ALL the sacrifices YOU are making.
Try cutting out the drama and the whining. It's not always about you. There are a lot worse and more involved things you can do for your husband than go to a graduation. Sometimes as an adult we need to suck it up and do things we don't want to do. Sometimes you do things for your husband that you don't want to out of love. I'm sure there are things you've had him do that he doesn't want to.
Talk to your doctor about what you can do for your motion sickness.
2007-06-15 10:36:58 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Learn how to pick and choose the battles you know you can win...and accept that this is NOT one of them. Whatever issues you may have with traveling or with his kids, you can find a more appropriate time to deal with it. But for now, do whatever it is you have to do to "gird your loins", suck it up and get through this trip. If you love this man, you do NOT want to "go there" right now.
2007-06-15 10:19:02 · answer #10 · answered by dreamchaser8860 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋