I'm PREGNANT with my BROTHER IN-LAW should I Abort or keep the baby and pretend it's my husband's?

Question

This is a bad situation.My brother in-law & I have been sleeping together for a year now.We both agree that we are wrong and sinned BIG time.Now I'm 4 weeks pregnant with my brother-in-law's child. We don't know what to do.We know abortion is not right but the situation we are in MAY call for it.Our two options: (1) Have an Abortion so we can spare my husband & he will never know or (2) Keep the baby & pretend it's my husband's.My brother-in-law & my husband look very much alike.The ONLY problem with this is,my brother-in-law says he will always know that it's his child if we keep the baby. He might ONE DAY want the child for himself. He says he would feel guilty seeing another man,even his own brother, raising his child. Any advice on keeping or abort?

The brother-in-law is getting sick about because he sees my husband everyday. They are both lawyers & have a law practice business together.My brother in-law has been married for just 1 year> i have been married for 3 yrs. I don't

OUR HISTORY:
4 yrs ago i met my brother-in-law and we liked eachother we did not pursue eachtoher at all. We kissed once(before i started dating my husband) and to this day no one knows. His brother(my husband) expressed interest in me and we ended up dating and marring a year later. I guess my brother-in-law and I had always wondered(which was wrong) what could have been had we pursued eachother. I think this is what led to us chaeting and sleeping together for a year. My brother-in-law has always had Girlfriend while he was having an affair with me and we were both fine with that. He got married last year to her.

I do not have kids with my husband yet because we wanted to wait. We are more worried about my husband than his wife because that's his brother. He says he could explain to his new wife and maybe she can forgive him & if she doesn't she can divorce. Our main concern now are how his parents and family be if this came out. HELP

Answer 1

How about telling the truth and facing the consequences. It's sad that there is a child involved in this stupidity. Don't abort; it's not the child's fault you couldn't keep your legs closed.

Answer 2

This is a very strenuous situation and will require a lot of praying on your part. Having said that i do not agree that you should abort the baby. Divorces and abortions seem to be such an easy fix these days when adults make childish mistakes. You are going to have face the music. Tell your husband the truth. He can decide if he wants to be with you or not however this isn't your average I'm pregnant by another guy story. this is his brother. Even if he decides to stay with you he knows he's the step father of his niece or nephew. How's he going to feel having his brother come over to visit his child. This is really a mess and not only as an uncomfortable situation for the adults but imagine how that child is going to be affected should you all manage to somehow get along during all this. Stepdads and uncles that are really dads, wow. Even if you work this out, I strongly suggest counseling because you are going to need it to even be able to stay sane enough to carry this pregnancy to term. Good luck!

Answer 3

This is so wrong! You both need to be honest to everyone. Your present marriages are over! Face the truth and quit the dishonesty and lying. You not only destroyed your own marriage but caused a division between two brothers for a life time. Cheating was a choice on both your parts so you may as well stay with one another and raise your child. That is the only option that the two of you have. If you believe in abortion and do it....you need to leave this marriage and get out of everyones life and leave them all be! Don't ever connect with anyone of them for the rest of your life! You tell your husband in a letter that you don't love him anymore and let him find someone that will be right to him someday.As far as his brother you tell him to die with this and never bring it to the surface. Do not take anything financially from your husband and just leave town and start your life over somewhere else. If you stay you will have the whole family to face and nothing will be the same. Your husbands brother needs to handle his own unhappy marriage in his own way without your involvement. Nothing good will ever come out of you staying connected to these people in any way. I am sorry but it needs to end and be over!

Answer 4

Wow, you're in a pickle aren't you? I notice one thing you didn't address in your question, do you love your brother-in-law, do you want to be with him forever? Or was it just about the sex? I'd recommend that you tell everyone involved, your parents, your in-laws, your husband, his wife. After everyone is informed they'll probably all give you input on what you should do.

My guess is that if you choose to tell your husband and family, you'll be getting a divorce and most likely your brother-in-law's relationship with his entire family will be over. Sad. My own opinion is that if you decide to keep the baby, you need to tell your husband and be responsible by offering him a divorce (because you really screwed up). If you decide to abort the baby then it's really up to you if you tell him or not - but keep your hands off your brother-in-law and other men as well. If you can't do that than get out of your marriage.

Answer 5

Option 1). Abortion... could be an option if you are able to live the rest of your live thinking about the baby you killed just because you were having cool and forbidden sex!!

Option 2). Pretend your husband is the father... or pretend you are so smart and never this lil' secret could be discovered....uhmmm could be an option if you think your baby doesn't have the right to live with the truth.

Option 3). I'd do this one: Tell the truth and ask for his forgiveness. You will live much better the rest of your live with peace of mind.
If you lose your husband, at least be a REAL WOMAN!!!

Good Luck!

Answer 6

WOW I guess now you don't know how to keep your legs closed for anyone but your husband. You know that one you promised to spend the rest of your life with and to honor and to Cherish and it goes on. How could you do that with his brother in general its bad but that's is brother. Don't abort it that poor kid it's not his or hers fault you guys were screwing around!
When you were a kid did your parents ever tell you they rather here it from you than from another person when you were in trouble? Mine did and its true if you screw up make sure your the one who tell him not someone else it will not be as bad it will still be bad but not as bad as it could be. If you tell him now instead of him finding out that the kid he has grown to love and care about and lead to think was his is really his brothers don't do that tell him yourself. Also make sure the brother is at his mom and dads or some where just in case he gets pissed. I hope you do the right thing good luck :)

Answer 7

No one can tell you what to do. Here are some things to weigh, you can tell your husband and his family and emotionaly kill them, or you can have an abortion and literally kill a person.

If you decide to tell your husband and his family then you should have to sit there and listen to what ever they call you and have to say to you. This is a really low and rotten thing for the two of you to do.

Please understand that I do not believe in abortion, but I would not want my child to be looked at this way. I would honestly suggest moving out of state. Your child is the product of what you have done and people would always remember that and see him/her that way. People may forgive, but they do not forget.

Answer 8

I have to say, go with what you both feel is the right way to deal with this.

You could have the baby and just come clean...I know it's not going to be easy however, if you pretend the baby is your husbands now, years later when the "uncle" rocks up and starts making waves, will only make matters alot worse. Imagine years from now, you husband finds out that instead of being a daddy, he's an uncle! That would be too much for anyone to bare.

I wish you luck in whatever you decide.

Answer 9

I mean this with love and respect, but you need to stop trying to find an easy way out. You need to grow up and take respondsibility for your bad choices! I mean if you don't come clean I don't know how you can live the rest of your life in that lie, it isn't far to you, your husband, your brother in law or the baby. It will be hard to tell the truth and your life as you know it might be over but I think your furture will be better if you come clean now!

Answer 10

Mulitplying wrongs does not result in a right decision. While abortion may get you off the hook, what will it do to your soul, since you both feel that abortion is wrong? Everyone who wants an abortion can justify it in their own mind for one reason or another. My suggestion is to have the baby and raise it with love and attention. There is no reason for the baby's uncle not to be part of it's life. Confessing your transgressions to your husband would kill both your marriage and your husbands relationship with his brother. If nothing else, think of what's best for the baby.

Answer 11

My advice to you is to come clean about everything. Yes, things will probably get worse before they get better, but it's better than to confess and come clean about this, than it is to continue a lifestyle of lying and cheating, and betrayal. If you and your husband are forever meant to be, then you will get through this, if not, then I think there may be a different life plan for you. You and your brother in law have created a life, not it's time to take responsibility for your actions, and raise that life, nurture it, and love it. I promise you, coming clean is not going to be easy, but in the long haul, it will benefit you the most. That baby deserves to know who it's father is, and your husband and your brother in law's wife deserve to know the truth in this. And to lie to your husband and tell him it's his kid when it's not? That's absolutely terrible... how would you like it if you had a kid that you thought was yours, and then you find out one day that it's not? It would crush you. Good luck, please be honest with your family on this!