Wow enough with the anger... are there any mature women out there that can relate of give advise. I am not going to defend myself to a bunch or clueless young adults...
2007-06-15 09:05:07 · 42 answers · asked by No Drama for this Queen 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I am the same age as you and I'm also a marriage counselor. I have seen lives destroyed by what you are doing. My answer from before still stands:
Not only are you and this man having an emotional affair, he is a hypocrite for claiming to be religious. The fact that he says sexual things to you is sickening.
End this childish non-sense now. You're a grown woman, not a child. This man is not perfect. You're living in a dreamworld. In reality he farts and he has bad breath in the morning just like any other human being.
Work to rebuild your marriage. Go to marriage counseling with your husband. Whatever it takes.
If you continue down this path, you will regret it. Sorry if you're not getting the answers you want to hear.
2007-06-15 09:10:23 · answer #1 · answered by Schwinn 5 · 6⤊ 2⤋
That's a tough question when there's really no background.
First off I'd ask why you want to be with another man. If you're having serious marital problems it's really easy to fall in love accidentally with the first kind soul who happens to come along. This new fellow may be the man of your dreams but at the moment you're not really in a position to assess this objectively.
Usually it's a good idea to understand what's wrong with your marriage and why. Then I'd ask whether it's possible to find a way to restore it back to something that would make you happy. If you come up with a dead end as you explore this, then I'd say move on.
Moving on now begs the question of what it is about this fellow that makes him so special. Is it really love or is it a desperate hunger for love and attention that he is able to provide and your husband can't?
I'd suggest dating him for a while to try to find the answer to that question. It would help you find a path that may be right for you. I'd suggest too that the dating should be discrete. You may find after a few months that he's not such a prince charming after all in which case you still have a stable life to return to, however unhappy that may be. Alternately, you may find he really is that elusive prince you've always dreamed about. In that case he may help you go through a divorce so the two of you can be happy. A divorce is not always traumatic, but even a friendly one has its moments. So it's nice to have a supportive soul helping you through it.
I'm not sure if I've answered your question but I do hope it's given you something to think about at least and perhaps helps you a little in the process too. Good Luck to you!
2007-06-15 12:35:32 · answer #2 · answered by Shutterbug 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Okay, I'm a mature woman, married 15 yrs and i'm having a fabulous time with another man at the moment. My kids see a happier mom and i feel great. My hubby and I are probably headed for the big D and while that really sucks, I'm glad to know that i can still be happy even if it's just for a little bit. I never thought i would be one to endorse this behavior, but life is short and being unhappy is just wrong. if it makes you happy that go ahead. if something is wrong in your marriage and you've tried to fix it and that hasn't worked then by all means enjoy what you can when you can.
2007-06-15 10:02:01 · answer #3 · answered by snobunny1966 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
well, from my experience I have been seeing a woman who is married, not happily of course since there is a void in her that needs to be filled. I am that person to fill her void, I'm not really sure if thats a good or bad thing but, it's there.
Her husband knows about me months ago and they are seperated, but not yet divorced. Now, he is trying to win her back because maybe he is bored.
I'm not saying he is a bad person but I do know that he is too relaxed and didnt care even after he found out that I was with his wife. Now, I didn;t know that she was married until later on but, now I am giving her the time that she needs to think.
If you want to see or be with another man, chances are there is a void inside you that needs to be filled and your husband is not doing it. talk to your husband first and tell him, ask him what you want. Communication is the best thing in a relationship. Hopefully this works for you!
If your husband does not pay attention to you or what you have said then consider getting a divorce or counseling. If you must then have an affair. Sometimes affairs open eyes to things that we do not see in life. Most people will judge you based on your decision but, don't let that stop you. You are your own person but do remember that your choices are your responsibilities.
Good luck on the situation and dont let anything influence your judgement.
2007-06-15 09:21:00 · answer #4 · answered by Cerealkiller 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
K, how many men were you with before you married, how long married?
I understand, I am 27 been with my husband for almost 6 years. BUT there was something missing between us when i was seeking the attention of another man. Just that, his attention. I missed him and the first guy that noticed me as a woman i was ready to run away with. I didn't have a physical affair but the emotional affair is just as bad.
If you aren't happy at home, examine why. You dont have to file for divorce, just figure out what is lacking. Is is the thrill, something new and different. Just find your reasons before you do anything that will cost you your marriage. People have urges, i understand that, but sometimes the guy that we are married to has no clue what is going on inside our pretty little heads.
2007-06-15 09:14:07 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
There will always be other men out there, some you may even want to "be" with. Grow up. You made your choice now live with it. When you got married, I'm sure the words "until something better comes along" were not in your vows. Part of being mature is living with the consequences of your actions. You got married. Another person has plan their whole life around you based on the VOWS that you made to them. Own up to. Put your hormones in check. And do what you already know is the right thing. YOUR desires and even YOUR happiness are not always the most important thing in life.
2007-06-15 09:14:21 · answer #6 · answered by John R 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
First, I apologize for all of the adolescent attitudes we so often find in here. It's seems to be the only ones who have time to respond
It depends on what you are actually looking for. Are you looking for an affair or do you want to leave your husband and marry someone else. From your question, it is not clear.
If you are just looking for an affair, first, know that you are not alone. Over 35% of all married women will have an affair at some time during their marriage. Just know what you are doing, go in with open eyes and ears, and be willing to admit to yourself why you are doing this and knowing perfectly well the risks you are taking. It can be a meaningful outlet for you, or it can be a disaster. Some of the result will depend on you, some of it will depend on events outside your control. Just be aware and know, yourself and what you are doing.
2007-06-15 09:11:49 · answer #7 · answered by John B 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
So anyone who offers you advice you don't agree with is clueless? Why do you feel like you're defending yourself? Does all the replies seem to have something in common despite your superiority complex? Can you look past and actually read them and take them into account no matter how negative? You aren't giving us enough information to really have any sort of clue you claim to require. Please add to it with specific circumstances, and ask for more specific advice and maybe you'll get a better result. Personally, wanting to be with someone and experiencing desire isn't bad at all. Acting on that is completely wrong. Before you do anything like that you must end your current relationship. I don't like people who cheat at all, but something i dislike more is someone who refuses to learn from mistakes or even to accept education in matters of the heart. Don't be either of those people, no one respects them.... not just me.
2007-06-15 09:25:34 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
What attracted you to your husband? What happened to make you want to leave? I bet you have only been married about 2 years. The first 2 years are the best of all and after that people drift away. You must remember what attracted you to your husband. What is attracting you to someone else and why? You have to answer these questions. Does the other man have a wife? Whats going to happen to her and the kids? Why do women need to try to take someone elses spouse??????
2007-06-15 09:32:56 · answer #9 · answered by someones friend 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think it is unrealistic to not have desires outside of your relationship. Thinking and wanting are two different things though. Do whatever you like, as long as you have a clean concience afterwards. I think thats what stops me from cheating. I soo want to, you know think about it all the time, but don't know if I could live with the guilt. That stops me as I love myself enough not to put the guilt on the concience.
Find someone that knows your married and is just in it for the fun. If you can live with it great...have a good time. um where do you live exactly? LOL
2007-06-15 09:20:15 · answer #10 · answered by Joseph 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋