infidelity?

Question

"once a cheater always a cheater". how much of that saying is true? do u think that once someone commited infidelity and was remoreseful, do u think they can be capable of doing it again once that bump on the road smoothed out?

do u think that once your're capable of cheating you'll want to do it again?

Answer 1

I feel that every person and situation is different. If a person is truly sorry and gets counseling to fix the underlying problem there can be hope. Everything surrounding the thing that made it happen has to be understood so preventative measures can be set up to never put yourself in that situation again. Also the cheater has to realize how everything affected the relationship for the person that was cheated on.The person that was injured suffered emotional and possible physical dammage. Fears of std's that harbor for years before showing out....emotionally the world they thought they had with you isn't the same anymore. They may suffer from security , self esteem and abandonment issues that will take years to undo. You may forgive them but this doesn't mean that you will ever forget it. Trust was broken and it will probably never come back 100%....and the cheater needs to realize that the problem was created by them and take full responsibility for it. They own what they bargained the relationship for and if they want to keep it there is a price to pay for it now. The couple has to learn skills to work on the relationship inside of it instead of going on the outside. The cheater also has to understand that if he ever does this again there will be no second chances.

Answer 2

I used to believe that saying "once a cheater always a cheater". I dont anymore. I think if someone is cheating on their partner, then they are dissatisfied. And they are looking for something to fill the emptyness. The cheater is doing the wrong, but I think the partner of the cheater must also be doing something wrong. It may be neglect or abuse. Someone who is cheating is avoiding a situation at home that needs to be looked at in the face and dealt with rather than running around and finding happiness elsewhere behind their partners back. If you are not happy, then get out of the relationship before someone gets hurt. Most of the time, the people that get hurt are the innocent ones---like children. But the answer to ur question, yes, I think someone will cheat again if they get away with it once. They will think they can get away with it again. It's easier to cheat the second time because its familiar grounds.

Answer 3

I think the answer to that depends completely on the circumstances of the infidelity and how much their partner and the relationship means to the person who cheated, on whether they would be willing to risk it again by cheating. I don't know if the saying is true but I do know that I have never stayed with anyone who cheated on me. I knew that I could forgive them for their actions but I didn't think that I could ever look at them in the same way again. Trust is earned and once it is lost, for me at least, it is very hard to get back. Good luck!

Answer 4

I think it all depends on the person. I do believe if you're with someone and you catch them multiple times cheating then most likely that person is not going to stop. If you stay with someone after they cheat you give the cheater the impression that they can do what they want and you won't leave. Now if you start a relationship with a person who cheated on their ex's in the past that doesn't necessary mean the person will cheat on you.

Answer 5

I have never cheated, but I have been cheated on. He was remorseful and promised to never cheat again. he didn't technically cheat again, but found things that were very similar to cheating.

I think Cheating is a sign that someone doesn't have the right coping skills for dealing with problems. Until they work on new coping skills, they are likely to betray, one way or another.

It's not so much about cheating, as coping. Often times by the person is an adult, in a marriage, they are pretty set in how they cope with things. It's hard to change.

Answer 6

There are no guarantees either way. If it's happened once, then to feel safe for the future, I'd want to know that we both understand what need was being fulfilled outside the marriage (it wasn't just sex, you can be sure), and strong confidence that that need is now being met inside the marriage. If that happens, and he seems genuinely remorseful, I think he deserves a chance to earn your trust again. But how you deal with it is entirely up to you. You get to decide how much risk you think there is, and how much risk you can tolerate and stay in the marriage.

Answer 7

Depends, some people will repeat the offense but others do it as a means to their problems. If you are talking about the 2nd, then I think if that person goes and talks to someone to figure out why they got to that point and how to resolve without cheating next time things get rough, then they might have a chance.

Answer 8

Everyone wants to cheat at one time or another. If you have cheated once, it could be easier to give in again to temptation.

However, if the person is truly remorseful, they are less likely to give in because they know the consequences.

Infiidelity definately doesn't have to be the end of a good relationship or be repeated.

Answer 9

People are sinners by nature. We always go against the grain. If the situation present itself, we're all vulnerable.

"EVERYBODY!" will cheat if the right person is involved! Some of us may require a little more coercing than others ........ but we all will eventually cheat to some degree or another.

Answer 10

Pretty much, because it speaks to bad character. The best predictor of future behaviour is past behaviour. A man committed to his wife and his wedding vows, as well as his family, would never even entertain thoughts of cheating - or anything else suggestive, or disrespectful.