Why have I become such an angry person?

Question

Before my transition, I was a depressed, miserable person because I was seen through a body that I didn't identify with.

Now, since my transition, I've seen the world through a different perspective. I"ve seen the discrimination, the hate, the ignorance, and the things people take for granted, like walking into a public restroom. Transition was supposed to make me happy, and I am happy in the fact that I am finally who I was meant to be, but I've also become jaded, bitter, angry and frustrated with society and the closemindedness I see around me.
Part of me just wants to be "stealth" and live my live as a guy, and be an "average Joe", but part of me wants to be out and educate people about these things, so as to stop the ignorance, but that means putting myself at risk and exposure.

How do I get rid of this anger inside me?

Answer 1

only YOU can make yourself happy.
I have seen just as much hate, and rase you ultimate betrayal.

And I'm still happy.

You have to find a way to center yourself in a sea of hell.

Answer 2

Not long ago, someone told me "never say that when x or y thing will happen you will be happy, or you'll be problem-free". People make this error all the time by saying that when they have a big house, have many children or win the Lotto, they will be happy. Maybe that's your case too. You thought that a transition was needed to trash feelings that really are part of your mind and heart and not your body.

You have to accept that MANY people will always be close minded, and that you can communicate and educate just a little fraction of them.

Try to hang out with people that share interests like yours, maybe they're in need for someone like you right now as you're reading this. As I said before, that won't "solve all your problems" but having someone to hear you and to speak with is important and wonderful and is a major factor in EVERY healing process. Trust me, I've been there too.

- Peace!

Answer 3

im a straight male, conservative, but non-religous. You have to respect peoples right to privacy in the bathroom. You have a unique situation, which is usually not seen very often. I am totally open to homosexuals because what they do has no effect on what I do. Nothing I want out of life is affected by anything that anyone decides to do in private. I have no problem with gay adoption or gay marriage when they are done for the right reasons (which would be the same if a heterosexual was involved). But i would have a problem with using the restroom with a woman that had an operation to become a man. I am sorry, but a restroom is a place of privacy where I shouldn't even have to think of a woman being around me. I dont know how to say it, but you can't call me uneducated or ignorant. Don't let anger into your mind. Only you decide to be happy. If you listen to what other people tell you, and live your life based on what they say, what does that say about you? Im not trying to insult you, but you have to be strong enough to say "this is what I want, screw what other people want, I am not hurting or affecting them in any way, and I have the right to do with my body as I please". Hatred is a very contagious disease, and is NEVER justified. I don't care if you are white and have been beaten by a group of black kids calling you a cracker, you have to be above them. You have to approach everyone and every situation with a positive outlook. If you meet someone that doesn't like you or is uneasy around you, you should always remember one thing. its far easier to tell to F* off then to show them that you are worth talking to. and its far less rewarding. Don't ever take the easy way out of anything, and it doesn't sound like you are the type of person to do that. Good luck with your situation and keep your head up always.

Answer 4

You're staring down a big decision. Definitely take some time away from everything and do a lot of thinking. I can't tell you what road is best for you or how you should live your life. On one hand you could ignore it all. Just blend in and live a "normal life." Do you think you could actually do it? Do you even want to do that? Do you fear the person you might become taking that path? On the other hand, you could look all that makes you angry right in the eye and charge headlong into the battle for equality and betterment. What's the cost going to be? Are you willing to pay that price? Unfortunately life isn't nice. It quickly strips us of our innocence and wears us down. Just as everything around us, we ourselves change over time with our experiences. We choose how to react to this world and those changes though. I feel bad for you having to deal with what you've had to deal with, but that's already happened.we can't change what happened. We can only control what we do about it. I wish you well.

Answer 5

Honey, if you ever learn how to get rid of internal anger, please let me know.

And if you just want an email address to vent to, please feel free to hit me up and vent all you want.

I've been shot, I've been stabbed, I've been gaybashed so badly my skull was busted, so I know what it's like to feel the evil society puts out. And as much as I've tried to work through it all, I still have times when I hate everything and everybody. My anger burns holes in my stomach, and my heart hurts from being so filled with venom.

All we can do is take things day by day. Take each person as they present themselves and try - and try yet again - to let the bad stuff go. You can't change those who don't want to change. You can't be un-true to yourself to please anyone else. You'll experiment with your life and discover when and where you need/want to live in stealth mode versus when/where you want to be open.

Young man, your life as it is, is still new for you. Give yourself the time, space, and self-awareness to adjust. From what I know, a transition is a long road. You've only just started down the path. Let yourself LOVE yourself; let yourself LEARN yourself, let yourself ACCEPT all the aspects of you, as you are now and as you continue to grow and change.

Good luck baby! And I was serious about the email. I won't even write back if you don't want a dialog, feel free to use it as a venting space only if that's what you need.

Answer 6

You don't mention your age or your level of self responsibility, but I know for most adults with bills to pay and children to raise that the economy has made us all edgy and irritable. It seems like the whole world has gone bitchy. But with good reason. Taking a little more exercise might help in your personal situation but given the state of the world you might just be normal. Sometimes anger is appropriate.

Answer 7

first off HUGS second NOT EVERYONE is ignorant and closeminded i know it seems like THEY ARE WINNING but the truth is there is more good than bad there are more people who honestly understand than those who don't it is kinda like when you SWEAR everyone is looking at you and you feel it in the pit of your stomach and you realize it is just 1 IGNORAMOUS DOOF WEED who is just confused as you are and saying to themselves i wish i had the balls to do what she is doing i found this out last weekend when my friend and i went to walmart she is also MTF and she could not take it anymore and went off on this girl and she actually made this 27 old girl cry and she is like i am just jealous i would not even know how to transition but i know that is what i NEED they actually are doing lunch later next week try talking to one of them i am not recomending you make them cry but you never know have a great weekend sweetie and take care and remember to SMILE and i bet deep down one day you'll realize it is all the testosterone that is making you crazy i don't think you will feel this way forever just hold on to your beliefs and stay real close to your friends and build from their strength

Answer 8

It's like any other body modification, my dear. A scalpel, pills, etc. are not magick. They compliment what is going on in your mind and make your body match your mind's specs a bit more. They are not a guarantee of happiness, any more than a nose job and liposuction would be for a straight woman. You still have to work on your mind and put yourself in the right environment (no more toxic friends!)

*hug*

Answer 9

I prefer stealth, you can't get a fair deal. In fact i've dropped or am trying to drop all my labels even my name. I don't label myself as nothing, if others want to that's thier perogative and i will hold it against them.

Sometimes when i'm angry i stop and ask 'what am i hiding from myself? What am i unwilling to accept?' I sometimes find i'm just lashing out at the world, hating all xtians, hating all govt officials, trying to justify it and rationalize it, looking for pretexts and trying to convince them they are a piece of crap.

So, I have to try and be fair and treat these ignorant people with a tad of respect and fairness rather than call them terrorists and demonize them.

Answer 10

uhhhh...? Weight lift? Box? do something recreational? Try not to worry about it? Don't go parading around that your gay, i mean seriosly, i don't go around tellin people that i'm an asexual (i got the goods thoh)every girl i've met has been out of her mind and guys chauvinistic machoism pisses me off like none other.

I just focus on my work, lift weights, write and read.

As for a social life thoh... couldn't care less if i had one or not.

I'm just sayin, do shiit to take your mind off of it. Trying to teach ppl is useless they don't wanna learn or listen... we live in the most abnoxios society i could ever think possible so it's better to just focus on yourself than worryin about others.

Answer 11

Get rid of the anger by letting go of all the emotional baggage you insist on dragging around with you. Yesterday is over, you can't do a damned thing to change it, let it go.
You don't know what tomorrow will bring, don't worry about it, live in the now.