We have sex regularly and still enjoy to experiment. But since he has made a trip to Amsterdam he likes it a bit more rough. He has gotten into spanking and wants my bottom up for a 'warming up' before engaging in the final ...
It hurts and I don't enjoy it. I know he has dropped his eye on our (much younger) neighbour and I am afraid he will go next door when I do not cooperate. What am I going to do?
2007-06-15 06:47:59 · 37 answers · asked by Mariska 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You're willing to do something that you don't like because you're afraid that if you don't, he's going to take it next door? That's not what sex and marriage is about!
Tell him how you feel about what he's doing in the bedroom. Communication IS what a marriage is about.
2007-06-15 06:51:25 · answer #1 · answered by Royalhinney 7 · 3⤊ 2⤋
First off it sounds like your husband has gotten in to a bit of BDSM......at least the D/s part of it.
Two if that is the case you as a submissive do have rights. Those kind of relationships should only be entered in to when both are concenting, as well as it is understood on both part what is wanted, and what is okay. You should have a safe word....ie Banana.......phone call. Something that will get his attention that you are either in pain beyond pleasure or that you need him to stop at which point he should.
If you arn't willing to continue with this then dont. And if he strays well, he needs to get help. And he's a creep. How do you know he didn't stay in Amsterdam? That would be my conclusion if my husband went and came back with wanting to do that.
I have been in a D/s relationship. They can be enjoyable but only if both are willing to participate.
Talk to your husband, tell him your unhappy and if he plays the guilt card play it right back. He doesn't have the right as a Dominate to be abusive, it's suppost to be a very loving relationship.
2007-06-15 06:57:08 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow...your husband had his thing he really likes. But the thing is love making is suppose to be something special btw you two. If he loves you he would not make it painful. It's okay for him to be rough but that's only if you enjoy it. If you do not enjoy it you should ask him not to be rough with you. If he loves you he will respect your wishes. Love is not about being selfish or having his way with you.
Sex goes both ways. Sweetie you have every right to not participate in something you do not want to do. If he loves you he will not even think about another woman.
If he wants to leave you because of his pleasure he does not deserve the wonderful person that you are.... let him go. Let him do you a favor. Leave his a**. Someone out there will suit you better and not want to hurt you. Love yourself and all else will work out. Good luck.
2007-06-15 06:56:33 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
After 25 years you still have doubts about his fidelity? How sad. My husband and I (married 23 years) still have sex regularly and enjoy to experiment. We'll each try anything once as long as it is together, but nobody is pressured into doing something they don't like again.
My husband and I visit Amsterdam regularly. It's surprising how many men go there alone and "avail" themselves of the escort services and the less savory prostitutes in the red light district. It's great fun to go to restaurants and clubs and check out all the "rent-a-wives".
I'd like to suggest that if your husband can't be faithful, and if you can't trust him after 25 years of marriage, that you ought to rethink what you have together. Some counseling might also help.
2007-06-15 06:54:09 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well you could take your spanking like a good girl. Or try some role play that might make it more exciting for you. Another idea might be to go to an adult store together to find an implement that wouldn't hurt as much. Just know that there are many women out there that would love to have your husband spank them.
2007-06-15 06:52:57 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Why are you putting up with him cheating on you? Sounds like you need to dump his sorry behind. First if he comes back from a trip and wants sex differently, he has cheated on you. If he is interested in the younger neighbor and you know it and he doesn't care if you know it then he has probably cheated before. If you can't talk to him and tell him how you feel that you don't like it and he doesn't understand then to heck with him. Maybe its time you start spanking him and see how he likes it.
2007-06-15 06:54:58 · answer #6 · answered by rainy_54 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Cindy your husband is protecting out for the different female, I mean come on he stated he's not sure that he needs to initiate over in a courting with a 9 3 hundred and sixty 5 days previous in touch. To me which could study, nicely Cindy i haven't thoroughly broken it off with you because of the fact the different female hasn't stated specific to me yet. additionally you do no longer could go away domicile to "finally end up", that merely replaced into his excuse to bypass out and function an affair devoid of feeling in charge. think of approximately it, your husband no longer in undemanding terms walked out on you yet your 2 toddlers, quite the only that lives at domicile. I say get a great criminal expert so which you would be able to report for divorce and stay in counseling that could be useful you discover ways to handle the grief that comes from getting a divorce. additionally in case you desire anymore suggestion you could e mail me...and good success.
2016-10-17 09:19:44 · answer #7 · answered by lindenberg 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he was experimenting on his own in Amsterdam. If that is not what you are into, then do not do it. I would talk to him about it and tell him that you want to experiment in another way. It does not sound as if you are a prude, but if pain does not do it for you then say no. If you have to worry about him cheating because you don't want to do something in the bedroom, then you made a bad choice in marrying him.
2007-06-15 06:55:10 · answer #8 · answered by Ivy_Woman 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
He will not go to your neighbour. He might fantasize about her (and no one can control the partner's fantasies), but you've been married for 25 years. He won't spoil it just for the heck of a spank.
And you shouldn't feel pressured to do something you're not comfortable with.
2007-06-15 06:54:10 · answer #9 · answered by yogi 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
buy a strap on and tell him you want to give it to him. I think he'll ease up on the spanking.
either that or you can just tell him to do it a little softer.
and if you think he's gonna hook up with the neighbor after you've given him 25 good years, i suggest you may not have that great of a relationship and you should get in touch with a good divorce lawyer.
2007-06-15 06:53:38 · answer #10 · answered by chris m 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow, that must be really hard for you. 25 years is a long time but you shouldn't have to tolerate being spanked if you don't like it. Experimenting is one thing but if you don't like it then you shouldn't be pressured into a repeat preformance. If he loves you then why would he want to force you do something you don't want to. Seems very mean to me.
2007-06-15 06:53:06 · answer #11 · answered by Nic 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋