ok, let me make this clear first I am not wanting to date now. I would like to know what other people think is a reasonable time to start dating again. Remember I am not in a hurry I want to take care of my baby girl and get are lives straight first. ok, My boy friend of 3 years is leaving me, we have a baby girl together. After I get my life straight when is it a good time to look for someone new? How long did you wait? I ask because I don't want to be alone (without a man) my hole life.
2007-06-15 05:03:12 · 14 answers · asked by gia00601 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I would say a year, but it depends on your situation and ability to shake it off.
I think a year is usually enough time to sort your feelings, and the anniversary of your divorce is a milestone that sets up a feeling of a new start.
It's important to take some time, so that you don't see the next guy as either 'so much better than my ex,' or 'the same as my ex'
Neither of those is good, you need to feel strong in yourself, and then you can see guys as they are and not as a reflection of the old guy. A year is a good starting point for that I think.
2007-06-15 05:11:44 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take care of your responsibilities in life, let what happens happen. Being without a man is not the worst thing in life - and if you have had one successful relationship you will naturally find someone else when the time is right. This part of life does not work well to put it on a timetable. Just next time be more careful and make a commitment to each other before making a child.
2007-06-15 05:08:57 · answer #2 · answered by keezy 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is no reason to wait any length of time what so ever It is not a matter of waiting or for that matter waiting for the right time. When you find someone else interesting go on a date that might be the perfect person for you and you should not miss that oporatunity I was married for 13 years and met my new wife of 3 years just six months after separating with my ex.
2007-06-15 05:11:12 · answer #3 · answered by Big Deall 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You will know when it is right i was married 20 years and after almost 2 years and a couple of dates that were laughable I have met a wonderful man who treats me better than my ex ever did. I still don't have my life where I would like it to be but its okay when you start dating you need to go slow and you will have plenty of time to get everything done. Let life happen but don't settle!!
2007-06-15 05:23:12 · answer #4 · answered by mommybird64 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
girlfriend dont fret! If your still fertal enough to have children then your young. You have your whole life ahead of you, and I will gurantee that you will not be alone forever. Thats near impossible these days inless you lock yourself in your room and never leave the house. My best advice to you is that wait till you are straightned out like you said. Financially and mentally. It took me a couple years for me to move on from my 3 year relationship when i was dumped. It killed me inside and I ended up moving almost to the other side of the country to get away from it all. You need to get to a point where you dont need anyone but to have someone would be ok too, you need to feel comfortable with what you have and where you are in life. If you havent reached this point in your life your truly will not be able to give the best of yourself. You will always be searching for support and love from someone else which turns to neediness and then onto other things like jelousy and controll issues. Especially since you are the one being left and it is normal to want to avoid this position again at all costs which leads you to not give all of yourself or need to much. Your young and obviously an intelligent women. You know that you need to get your things in order before moving on which is important to recognize. You will know when it is time to look for someone else. Someday you will be sitting on the couch watching your beautiful baby girl and you will say to yourself " you know Life is really great I am stable and set I am an independent women but you know what it would be nice to share life with someone else" then you can start looking but never be in a rush the man you are meant to be with might be the one you least expect. This might not be your cup of tea .....but online dating is great, i met my current boyfriend on yahoo personals, he is also my best friend and my lover. It took year or so of bad dates and losers but it was worth everysecond. You are a beautiful amazing women who deserves more then you realize. Dont worry about your ex you deserve better and keep your expectations high and keep them there dont get discouraged you deserve the best!
good luck!
2007-06-15 05:23:08 · answer #5 · answered by rachel g 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your Child comes first, and I Hope you're suing for child support from this Idiot that left you. It's his child too, so he should take responsibility.
It's up to you. If you feel you can juggle a baby, a job and dating all together, and have your families support , sure go ahead. Do what your heart tells you.
If your child is an infant, then it might be best to concentrate on her first. It's OK to date, but be sure that she is your priority no matter what.
I'm sorry he left you. You don't deserve to be on your own. some men can be such Dogs.
2007-06-15 05:14:57 · answer #6 · answered by groovywoodpecker 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get your life together and you stand a chance of finding a better man. So, I say start working on your situation, get yourself in a good place and by the time you have done all that, you can begin looking. Remember, though, not to let a good thing pass by because things aren't perfect yet.
2007-06-15 05:06:39 · answer #7 · answered by Melanie J 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You'll know in your heart when you're ready. Just give yourself some time to heal and figure out what it is you want. Once you've figured it out, you'll start drawing people to you and things will just happen on their own. The most important focus right now is your daughter and I can tell that's how you feel.
2007-06-15 05:09:29 · answer #8 · answered by FeeFi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've heard of the two year rule by Dr. Joy Browne pertaining to your concern, and found it to be a good one to guide by. She does have a web site, and known as one of America's favorite radio psychologist. I have checked the radio site and found she has many interesting topics, pertaining to life's circumstances. Perhaps tuning in to her radio show will help you through your difficult transitions. Hope that was helpful. Best to you and your little girl.
2007-06-15 05:22:16 · answer #9 · answered by lostrebelchild 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know you shouldnt pick a good time...just live your life...get your life back on track and before you know it someone will be asking you for a date and who knows...you bf might be like hey lets get back together.
2007-06-15 05:06:48 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋