I am planning to join for my MBA course this July and three days ago I have confirmed i am pregnant. Though I had shown some excitement etc when I let the news out to my bf (I thought thats what a girl has to do), I am concerned about the responsibilities and obstructions this would cause. Though I tried to talk to him yesterday about medical terimination of pregnancy, he seems to be against the idea. How can I open his eyes to the reality and show him that termination now is better for both of us and the unborn ?
2007-06-15 04:22:20 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health ➔ Women's Health
Instead of trying to convince him of anything, just try to have an honest, open discussion about it. Let him know why you think it's the best option; write your reasons down if you want to. But also listen to what he has to say. If it's a serious relationship, I think it's always a good idea to include the other person in the process of making major decisions. Ultimately it's going to be your call, of course. But maybe he'll say something that will sway you, or you'll say something that will sway him. Structure it as a conversation rather than a debate. Best of luck!
2007-06-15 06:00:41 · answer #1 · answered by thenewthrash 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't "open his eyes" because you have your eyes closed as well. You will murder a unborn, do you even know the side effects of terminating a pregnancy? Do you and your bf and your unborn child a favor: look at the links below. You tell me if you really want to kill the baby. Honestly, there's mental and emotional side effects of terminating the pregnancy. So what it's inconvenient for you and your bf but you had the nerve to have sex now have the nerve to give it life. Give him/her up to adoption. It's not okay to kill an unborn. And you know it's a person because you said "Unborn" you'll have nightmares and on top of that your boyfriend will be upset too. It'll mess up alot of relationships. I'm just trying to stop you from making a mistake and stop you from having nightmares too. It will effect all three of you: you, your boyfriend and the unborn child. Adoption is an option, raising the child is too, it's your decision but please don't kill the child. Please reconsider this and check the link below. Watch the second links video. what if you were aborted? honestly you've had the chance to live, so let the child you made live.
2007-06-15 04:44:49 · answer #2 · answered by wintertimeisfun 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The answer to this question lies solely in you. You are the one who will have to live with feelings and possible guilt after the deed is done.
Just for clarification, I'm TOTALLY Pro Choice, but I'm not Pro Ignorance...know ALL the pros and cons of anything you decide.
After an abortion, your body will go thru the hormonal changes of not being pregnate anymore, your emotions will be all over the board. If your relationship develops further w/your boyfriend and you end up having another child with him, there will possibly be guilt and sorrow and shame over aborting the first fetus just because the 'timing wasn't right'
Consider adoption, closed (where you don't know where the child has gone) or open (where you get to choose the family)
Consider that despite the possible hardships, noone is EVER ready ready ready for a baby and the changes that come with it. So you might consider keeping it.
I say give yourself some time to digest everything that has just happened to you. Its a big shock when you discover something as life changing as being pregnate. Don't make rash decisions, consider ALL your options and then make an educated decision base on rational thoughts.
I firmly believe everything happens for a reason.
2007-06-15 04:34:50 · answer #3 · answered by myhrmaid... 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well, abortion is a pretty touchy subject. You are going to get mixed answers on here. It is not my place to judge. You "really" can't change his feelings on this matter, all you can do is discuss this thoroughly with him ( and make sure you think it through alot yourself) , do some research and show him the pros and cons. There are many options out there available. You can carry to full term, deliver, and put it up for adoption. You can speak to someone and set it up way before the child is born and chances are, there is a family already waiting to adopt a new born because they themselves cannot have children. There are also many services out there as far as child care and such, many women have been pregnant, or just had a baby while they are going to school. Sure, it is a challenge, but in my opinion much worth it. I have a 5yr old daughter and I am 14 wks pregnant now. I have gotten pregnant both times while I was in very difficult situations. Both of my children have been heavensent though. My daughter gave me the courage to get out of an extremely abusive relationship (him stabbing me helped alot too) I raised her great on my own and still worked full time +. My aunt watched her while I was working for me. I met my current boyfriend of 2 years now. I currently have ALOT of seizures and mini strokes. I was sooooo scared when I found out I was pregnant because I have been in a wheelchair since January. I just didn't think I could do it, I mean how could I care for a newborn, and my daughter. I went off my seizure medications and since then have been able to start walking on my own. It was a side effect of the meds. I have had this problem for 2 years and NO doctor knew what the heck was going on. My OB/GYN did an expensive blood panel test and may have pinpointed the cause of all of this. I have 2 out of 3 of the major blood clotting disorders. My body naturally produces blood clots, but lacks the ability to break them back down. If it weren't for me being pregnant, who knows how long it would be before they discovered anything. I have started to feel the baby a bit now, and have full faith that We can do this plus I am all excited and giddy inside lol. I am not trying to talk you into, or out of anything, it is your choice. But through my experience (which are much longer stories lol) I have learned that the sayings are true that "Everything happens for a reason, and that the Lord will never give you more than you can handle" although it seems as though He tends to push it a bit. Please e-mail me at angeleyes8181982@yahoo.com if you would like to talk or have any further questions. I am not a professional, or a genius lol, but I may be able to help you in some way or another. Again, it is not my place to judge. Please take care.
2007-06-15 04:50:46 · answer #4 · answered by angeleyes818 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hon if you arent ready to be a parent thats totally understandable. HOWEVER.........there are millions of childless couples in the world who would LOVE your baby. Dont use to cowardly way out just because you arent ready to be a parent. Instead bring that child into the world and change another couples life by letting THEM be parents. if you are responsible enough to have sex then you need to be responsible enough to deal with a pregnancy in a way that isnt the "easy way out". Termination will NEVER be better for your unborn child. How can you know what would be better for your unborn child when your child never even gets a chance. THINK!
2007-06-20 15:07:36 · answer #5 · answered by motherofone 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First off, ask him why he's against the idea. Does feel like he's ready for a baby? Is he gonna be there for it all? Is he against all abortion, or just abortion in this case?
And you also need to ask some questions of yourself. Why do you think termination is better for you all? What are your views of other women who have had abortions? What about abortion in general.
Each of you should make a pro vs con list of abortion, keeping the baby, and adoption. Then look at each others sheet. (Don't make one list together, make 2 lists apart and compare later. Give yourself a day to work on it)
2007-06-22 05:56:36 · answer #6 · answered by Liz 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Although I agree that it is a women's right to choose, I also don't believe in killing an innocent, unborn child. Talk about adoption and look into that.
It may be better for the child not to be part of ya'll's life due to financial restrictions, etc. However that doesnt mean the child should suffer and not be able to live its life. If you really dont want the child check into adoption.
Good Luck!
2007-06-15 05:10:57 · answer #7 · answered by NCIS ♥ Addict 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's not an easy decision, but in reality, if you know you're not ready to be a parent, then don't be one.
Please understand that you're not opting for a 'quick fix', there's nothing quick or easy about it.
You're doing what's right for you and what's right for whatever family you choose to have in the future. You're a woman that has the opportunity to gain more education and to go further with your career. Don't give that up because a man that hasn't committed to you has reservations about something that's happening to your body.
If he wanted to be a family with you and the baby you're carrying, you'd have a ring on your finger.
Don't let him try to control something that is your choice. If he can't love and support you without a child, how well is he really going to do so with one?
2007-06-18 04:39:45 · answer #8 · answered by Renee D 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Terminating a pregnancy is a violent event for a woman, no matter how glossed over and sterile it is made to seem. Maybe your gf will not look at it that way since you seem to be making the decision for the three of you. Would it be so hard to continue with your lifeplans, baby included?
2016-05-21 01:48:39 · answer #9 · answered by milissa 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Although you shared this information with him, how he feels about it means little. This is YOUR body and you YOU can do what is BEST for you. So if he doesn't agree with you then you may need to terminate the relationship as well.
Also, I know that you can get counseling for both of you before you go through with the termination, that may help.
Best of luck to you.
2007-06-22 07:24:22 · answer #10 · answered by Miss 6 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋