He calls me lazy and stupid sometimes, and that I act like my mother. He tells me the house should be spotless, but I'm taking care of him, our two small children and HIS three dogs. I have to clean multiple times a day to pick up the small mess my children make ( they pick up the big mess) He says hurtful things like "maybe you should just leave" or " go ahead and cheat I want you to" He is very bi polar and refuses to take medication. He comes from a broken family because his dad's family killed his mom. he is really stressed out from work, and I sort of add to the stress a little bit. When he puts me down I feel depressed and detached from my children. Other days he is good and treats me well. He has this guy friend where he works and when the friend is happy my husband is happy, when the friend is mad he takes it out on everyone including my husband and my husband brings it home.
2007-06-15 04:07:32 · 12 answers · asked by Barbie Girl 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Like yesterday, we had to give our jeep grand cherokee away to a guy because his "friend" never fixed the man's truck. He always covers for him. Like he gave the freaking guy our patio set! My husband always avoids confrontation. Plus he always says I am pretty, and he thinks I will find someone better and that I don't need to put up with him.
2007-06-15 04:09:04 · update #1
He is always afraid I'll leave him, so he is trying to convince himself that I am. I've never cheated on him or flirted with anyone. I'm very faithful and I know he isn't cheating on me, he is just stressed out. Should I give him some space?
2007-06-15 04:15:23 · update #2
I'm in it for the long haul, it's just my husband is a very depressed man and he is never happy with what he has and he has a lot
2007-06-15 04:18:50 · update #3
it really sounds like your husband might benefit from some therapy and maybe some medication for his depression/bipolar disorder. i am glad that you said that you were in it for the long haul.
2007-06-15 04:29:51 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
do you realise that your children are also affected by your husband's behaviour?leave for your own sanity.he will eventually ruin your health and affect the emotonal stability of your children.they will copy his behaviour towards you.he's already shown his disdain for the whole family stabilty/wholesome relationship deal by refusing to take his meds.you will always be to blame for his actions ie nothing you do will ever be good enough for him, except of course on the occasional good day he allows you to have just to keep you hanging on in there in the hope that yes, life can improve.he sounds like he's wealthy enough to give away a vehicle, so he can almost certainly afford a maid!it is not your job to make him happy, he can only do that for himself.there will always be something wrong no matter how many eventualities you try to cover.as the children get older how are you going to be able to keep them in line all of the time too?if you're going to stay together then you all need help in family counselling to help you to cope with him and he himself needs to attend therapy by himself and stick to his medication regimen.at present he sounds rather a handful to live with.how long is it going to be before he destroys any self esteem you have remaining and you finally have a nervous breakdown?you need support now whether you stay or go.you do know that he is abusing you don't you?he will have no sympathy for you if you become ill, because you see you are his scapegoat, and of course it will be another thing that is all your fault.sorry for the strong words, but they are the truth as i know it to be.i am not unsympathetic to those who have a bipolar disorder, far from it, but, he prefers this power over you otherwise he would take his medication.at the end of the day that's it.you will need to be strong for yourself now.keep a journal of his behaviour with specific dates times and incidents for i'm sure you may need them one day , and confide in a counsellor or an attorney for god's sake.the very best of luck.
2007-06-15 04:41:22 · answer #2 · answered by poppins 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your husband is ill and will not get help there is nothing you can do. I would not put up with this crap. Woman + Marriage= Wife Not Maid. Get rid of the dogs, and him. You will have less of a mess and less stress. Take the kids and move on as this is not good for them to be around this . The long hall does not mean take abuse.
2007-06-15 04:48:38 · answer #3 · answered by Kat G 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your situation was starting to make me feel stress....I sympathize with you, sweetie. You're going through a lot but unfortunately half the world is going through something worse. In any bad situation or stressful one always think that things can be worse. For instance: your husband gave away your patio furniture and car at-least you still have a house to live in...so it's always something good in a bad situation.
~Hang in there
2007-06-15 04:14:05 · answer #4 · answered by All the way live! 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The truth is you do need to find someone better and you don't need him. This is an abusive relationship, whether he takes it out physically on you or not, he is emotionally abusive. Get far away from the situation! Maybe then he will realize that he needs to take meds for his bi polar disorder. He needs to learn to appreciate you, and maybe by you leaving he will realize what he is losing out on. Don't keep your kids in this situation either. They have got to be hurting from it too, and their welfare and well being are most important, I believe. And you have got to live for you!
2007-06-15 04:14:44 · answer #5 · answered by happily married ( : 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am very sad to hear that your husband is verbally abusing you. Perhaps you could strike a deal with him that if he starts taking his meds then you will do more of the things he wants. I give you a lot of credit for hanging in there. I hope things improve. Peace Out.
2007-06-15 04:15:28 · answer #6 · answered by vantil23 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with him. You don't need to put up with him. Bi-polar is not pretty. It is horrible and ugly and when they won't stay on medication it is really bad.
Sorry hun.
2007-06-15 04:11:56 · answer #7 · answered by Stephanie J 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you should take him up on his offer...and leave him. This sounds like a tremendous amount of verbal abuse and certainly not the type of role model I would want for my kids.
2007-06-15 04:14:19 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to start planning a life without him. It will be a big change, but you will be happier in the end.
2007-06-15 04:13:28 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you don't need to put up with him. he needs to be diagnosed and medicated. if he doesn't want to do this for your or his kids, then maybe you should consider leaving.
2007-06-15 04:12:34 · answer #10 · answered by twosey ♥ 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋