My fiance has voiced that he considers himself prolife and when we started having sex he asked if I got pregnant what would I do? I told him I would keep it and that I feel like I could take care of a child.
I didnt however tell him that I had been pregnant when I was 20 and had chose an abortion, one of which was the abusive manipulative man that was the would be father.
I have never told my family and only my ex and 1 of my friends know about it.
Now that we are engaged I fell like I should tell him because he should know everything about me, but im also afraid of losing him.
I know that if we were ment to be he would except what happened.
At the same time though I dont think I ever have to tell anyone and that the only person that ever would need to know is my doctor.
I cant decide if I should tell him and have him think less of me (as a guy who had a similiar question did) or just leave it in the past.
2007-06-15 03:52:26 · 11 answers · asked by lrgblueeyes 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I'm afraid this is for your own conscience to decide.
I'd say that if you are serious about this guy long-term, it's better to tell him sooner rather than later, if you decide to tell him at all. Also consider that, as other people know, one day he might find out on his own and be hurt.
Also, he probably won't care, but if he did think less of you for it, would you really want to be with him? I personally would have a lot of sympathy and respect for someone who has had to make such a tough decision at such a young age; you shouldn't feel ashamed of doing what you felt was the right thing in the situation at the time.
2007-06-15 03:58:49 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Be more tacky gurl! Yes you have all the freedom in the world, but it doesn't mean you have to abuse it! Maybe you should have told him that before you were engaged or maybe even before you were boyfriends, ... or maybe not! It all depends on how you trust each other and how emotionally mature the both of you are! You may have had a lot of things shared but that doesn't mean you're already there. Try to see first if he's really worth it ... to be disclosed with such or not. If he's worth it then that's another route to freedom. If not, should I still have to tell you? Take Care and Good Luck!
P.S.
Someone posted about the your future hubby being a politician thingy. Yep you should take on considerations like these. You never know what opportunities the future brings! And basically, past is past. But there are others who won't learn or even understand that lesson.
2007-06-15 05:31:07 · answer #2 · answered by g3tbn 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think you should tell him. If he loves you he will understand that you were in a bad relationship and you did what you had to do. I do believe however that you could have kept your child and leave your ex. He might think the same as me I dont know. If I was him I would not leave you but that would be on my mind. I dont think you will lose him because of this.
2007-06-15 04:07:05 · answer #3 · answered by ? 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if this is on your mind, then you need to talk to him about it. how would you feel if you were married to someone who would judge your past? if he truly loves you, he will accept you for who you are. maybe he will begin to understand that sometimes women find themselves in difficult situations and instead of bringing a child into an unhealthy environment, they choose to terminate the pregnancy. if makes assumptions about you as a person after you tell him, then did he really ever love you?
2007-06-15 04:27:14 · answer #4 · answered by twosey ♥ 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you should trust him enough to tell him . tell him you had been meaning to tell him but could not find the right time . It will be hard but if he truly loves you he will understand and if he doesnt then he was and is not the man for you . I guarantee you will feel 100% better when you tell him . good luck .
2007-06-15 03:59:37 · answer #5 · answered by Kate T. 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Some things are better left un said. If you feel like you need to confess, I'd advise seeing a therapist. Leave in the past where it belongs. Why would you want to confess, if it wasn't something you did to him? It has nothing to do with your realitionship with him.
2007-06-15 04:00:22 · answer #6 · answered by gypsey 3 · 2⤊ 2⤋
Don't do it.
My fiance is the same. He is very pro-life. Do not involve your fiance in your past.
It had nothing to do with it anyway.
no reason to go digging up the past. You may not like hwat it leads to...
2007-06-15 04:05:38 · answer #7 · answered by Mimi 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
i think the right thing to do is to tell him. if you're going to get married you should have no secrets from eachother. if he really loves you he will accept your past and respect you for being honest. if you're questioning this now, you'll question it forever if you don't tell him. you don't want to carry that kind of baggage throughout your marriage.
2007-06-15 03:59:01 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
i will tell him and he really loves u and understand y u did it he will stay cause i would want child with a man who abuse me
2007-06-15 04:02:20 · answer #9 · answered by Chocolit B 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Unless he is going to run for elective office, forget it.
2007-06-15 03:57:50 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋