I would rather do that on his birthday or the day he went to heaven. I have to make sure my husband has a good day..
2007-06-15 03:21:07 · 18 answers · asked by Holiday 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Your mother is grieveing still and she is wanting to go to his grave site on fathers day which is ok, except there are other fathers who are alive and you need to celebrate with them.
I think it would be totally appropriate to go put a few flowers on his grave and maybe polish up his tomb stone, but not sit there and mourn for the dead. The only thing at the grave site is his body. His spirit has ascended to heaven and he is not here on earth with us anymore. You can remeber without hanging out in a cementary.
Your father has lived his life and now its time to move on and live yours with the people who are alive eg your husband.
2007-06-15 03:37:40 · answer #1 · answered by happydawg 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its been 10 months only. You have to make sure your husband has a good day, thats true but it wont take all that long for you to go to support your mother and then spend the rest of the day with your husband. Try to understand your mom because if your father had not died, you would have had a few moments with him on fathers day. She had children with the man she lost, you are one of those children. Its an inconvenience but show some support.
I feel badly for your mother because she has no husband and yet you do and can celebrate with yours who you have to love after the memorial
2007-06-15 03:33:14 · answer #2 · answered by nikogal2006 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like your mother is in the middle of the grieving process. If you and your husband can support her and go to the grave with her, then do so and celebrate your husband and his fathers day in a different way before or after. I would think your husband would understand. If he likes your mom then he should still have a good day knowing he is supporting someone he cares about and honoring someone who has passed.
2007-06-15 03:30:45 · answer #3 · answered by rebecca s 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My father died on October of 2005 on the first father's day since my father passed my mother wanted the same thing, and we all went that year. I want to do something for my new husband who has been an awesome father to my little daughter this year. I went with my mother to the Memorial day services at the cemetery and honored him that day this year, but I will take her on Saturday, it will be hard for her. My mother would throw a big Father's day cook-out for him every year. If you can sneak away for a quick moment it would mean alot to your mom, as it did to my mom.
2007-06-15 07:55:06 · answer #4 · answered by Maria A. 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it is a nice detail. My granny passed away 4 years ago, and mom still prays and also commemorates her. It is a way to make them feel as if they are still here. I would really respect her feeling, she is still probably hurting. Tell her you will go only for a while and I think she will understand. Plan another day with her at his grave so you can spend more time there too, like his birthday and she will appreciate it.
2007-06-15 03:36:39 · answer #5 · answered by Mary Laurita 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Eh, it's not going to take all day long. Just do your lip service at the grave for a short time for your mom's sake (it's not as if your dead father can see you anyways) and then spend the rest of your day with your husband.
2007-06-15 03:24:35 · answer #6 · answered by qwertatious 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
It doesn't have to be a bad day for anyone. Go to the graveside together. Remember your father's life and concentrate on what he did and who he was....celebrate his life.
Before and after the graveside memorial, you can do happy and cheerful things with and for your husband.
Remember, your mother is facing the first Father's Day without her husband and the father of her children. Its hard for her and she needs your support. Besides, your husband can see how well your family treats its fathers and be comforted that when he is gone, he will be remembered the same way.
2007-06-15 03:29:24 · answer #7 · answered by Melanie J 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'd say do it. Your mother may want to do it now because his death is so fresh in her mind. It may be a different story next year. And it will only take an hour out of your day. Just let your mother know ahead of time that you guys have something planned for that day.
2007-06-15 03:35:05 · answer #8 · answered by Mrs. Ma'am 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You want to be with your husband, but your mum wants to make something special out of the day. You get to see your husband every day right? So why not make that bit of extra effort to be with your mum on Father's day, it's not going to last all day is it, but she'll appreciate your support I bet! It's more about what she wants than what you want I suppose.
2007-06-15 03:31:55 · answer #9 · answered by Mike T 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweetie, the best way to remember your father is to remember him as if in life. Remember the good times you all shared with him. You don't need to go to his grave to honor him. Have a BBQ or something and each tell a story that you cherish of him.
2007-06-15 03:28:31 · answer #10 · answered by A friend of Bill W 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋