My husband and my daughter and I moved in with our bff's. We were all having finacial problems and she was about to give birth and scared crapless. So to help eachother out we moved in together. I love my bff but her fiance i could kill. He works a dead end job making $7.25 an hr, he has another kid he has to pay child support for and he never goes to work. Is it ok for us to be angry with him? He keeps saying that hes going to find a second job but he won't even get off his *** to go to the one he has. Help!
2007-06-15 03:05:35 · 10 answers · asked by sarcastic 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
I understand that everyone says to move out, but that is not an option. I am there to help her with the new baby, and we moved in together because neither one of us as a couple could afford to live on our own. This is why moving out is not an option. Also we have just as much of a right to stay there, the cable and phone are in my husbands name, electric and gas are in mine, this is our house too. So I need some advice as with not moving out as an option.
2007-06-15 04:43:52 · update #1
And yes he is a nice guy he is just a lazy bum. Even around the house, it takes a week for him to do something that was asked.
2007-06-15 04:45:17 · update #2
Is he a nice guy or is he an ***hole? Some guys are just lost. He needs to find a job that he enjoys and has fun at. Or if hes making that little of money he could try apprenticing somewhere for a job that could benefit them both after a while. He might just feel overwhelmed and stuck and needs to do something useful with himself. Try to help him get motivated.
2007-06-15 03:16:30 · answer #1 · answered by Emy 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yes, you have a right to be angry. But the only person that really has a right to do anything about it is your friend. It's her place. It's her fiance. She is responsible for taking care of it. If she can't, and the situation remains unstable, you may have to consider trying to find somewhere else to live. There is not a lot you can personally do about it except support and encourage your friend to do the right thing. It is a tough situation to be in, and there are no easy solutions. Good luck!
2007-06-15 03:09:58 · answer #2 · answered by Mr. Taco 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
IF you want to stay BFFs with your BFF, you need to move out sooner rather than later. As long as you're there sharing expenses the guy has no incentive to get off his butt and go to work. She chose to be with him in the first place and now she's got a kid with him. You do not. If you stay there and continue to be resentful and angry toward him, you will lose the friendship.
2007-06-15 03:09:07 · answer #3 · answered by LB 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
As a parent, you might not want this answer.
Be part of the solution by encouraging your daughter. Imagine how she must feel right now.
Don't slam him. Just be her friend and confidant. She needs someone she can talk to. If she asks for advice, give it. If she doesn't, resist giving your negative 2-cents about him. If the guy really is a bum, she will discover it soon enough.
Just be there when she needs a mom-friend.
Jim DeSantis
2007-06-15 03:20:08 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Sounds like a Co-Dependent relationship.Why would he want a second job when he has 3 other people who can work and help out. I'd Be Pissed Off and leave that situation. Or Throw him out the door!
2007-06-15 03:10:37 · answer #5 · answered by gypsey 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be concerned for your bff, but don't take her place as a wife. Your opinion about her husband is only second to what she thinks about him. Instead of being angry, use your concern for her to be there for her even more.
2007-06-15 03:14:06 · answer #6 · answered by iknwnthing 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It's none of your business what he does. You are not married to him. If you say something to your friend she will get mad at you. If you say something to him both your friend and the husband will get mad. I think you should move out. If you continue down the path your on you'll ruin a good friendship.
2007-06-15 03:18:19 · answer #7 · answered by tender loving dyke 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
kick him out! if you live there you have just as much right to the hosue and he does... and if dont live with you then tell him not to come there..
2007-06-15 03:20:32 · answer #8 · answered by Zachary F 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
yeah
i would definently say
that you should be ANGRY
he's simply a BUM
2007-06-15 03:07:59 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is not your concern, you staying there temporarily...let her deal with her issues and you worry about yours.
2007-06-15 03:07:46 · answer #10 · answered by ~ ♥ ~ 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋