How do I know if my relationship is codependent?

Question

I am bipolar, and a little paranoid so i look at things on the net and relate them to myself but i am recently thinking that im codependent on my spouse. Not really sure could anyone help me out a little...please? =)

Answer 1

The term "codependent" is one that became popular through the 12-step and addictions movement (Alcoholics Anonymous, for example). It originally was applied to the spouse or partner of a chemically dependent person who, often unwittingly, enabled or helped maintain the chemically dependent person's addiction. For example, partners might cover up for addicts' hangovers by calling them in "sick" at work (rather than letting them assume responsibility for the consequences of their behavior). In such situations the spouse or partner was thought to be "codependent" with the chemically dependent person. Instead of being dependent upon (or addicted to) a substance like alcohol or drugs, the codependent was dependent on or addicted to some aspects of the problematic relationship with the addict.


With time, the term "codependent" has spread and has been applied to other types of relationships besides the addict and spouse. For instance, adults whose parents were alcoholics or addicts but are not addicts themselves may develop codependent behaviors as a result of growing up in a household with an addict.

Answer 2

hi - i'm also bipolar. if you are looking at things on the net and relating them to yourself, perhaps you could use a therapist. you seem to be anxious and worried about what you're feeling -- and perhaps aren't aware of what your real feelings might be?

we really need to keep our world as real as possible when we are bipolar. i've been in therapy off and on for 20 years -- i go when the going starts to get rough and when i have issues which start looking to large for me to handle on my own.

i have listed a couple of websites below, which list a lot of symptoms of codependency, in case you are interested. and as one of the sites mentioned, we don't always have every symptom, if we are codependent.

if you are interested, i'm a member of a small mental health forum which includes many bipolars. we are caring, supportive and your peers. we can't solve your problems, and are not doctors but it's a place to let things out, and relate our experiences. sometimes we even find helpful advice.

the address is www.mentalworldhaven.com -- it would be great to have you as a new member ! (i'm "choey" on that site).

hugz!!!

Answer 3

Does your significant other have any addictions? If so, do you enable him/her to continue those addictions. Say drinking and you are always carting them around or crack-you look the other way so long as they don't do it around you.
Anything that enables the other person to continue with their self destructive addiction, so either you feel needed or it gives you some sort of feeling of grandeur would be considered codependent.