Im getting married soon and noticed my boyfriend has a box of pictures of ex girlfriends..(also had a pic of his ex in his wallet i found while he was in the shower(yes im nosey)..but none of myself)..should i ask for them to be thrown out?? they dont bother me too much but i just figure they aren't needed any longer and i dont have those things anymore..what do you think?
2007-06-15 01:21:04 · 32 answers · asked by julie092179 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If you got rid of your ex's pics he should get rid of his.Wow you seem pretty calm knowing he has no pics of you in his wallet and 1 of his ex.I myself, I am the jealous type even though I dont need to be.Id throw them out myself.Whats the most that would happen.We'd argue about it a little, then I'd apologize, then he'll forgive me and life will go on and I will be happy that he has no pics of any ex's.Or if you wanna be the nice GF you could tell him the truth and that you've been thinking about it and you could ask him to throw it out. And for those peeps who thinks he should be able to keep'em for his memories thats just a dum excuse.He can keep the memories in his head, why do you have to be reminded of an ex?? He's going to make new special memories with you becoming his wife.
2007-06-15 01:36:39 · answer #1 · answered by K 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
They should be stored and put away, but I am curious of the one in his wallet... What is that all about? It sounds like you have been together more than 3 months so why would that picture be there? I think you should tell him about your snooping and how it bothered you with the ex's pictures, I mean how else are you going to get picture out of wallet. You dont even know if he is aware of it still be there or not. He may notice if you take it out.
2007-06-15 01:59:42 · answer #2 · answered by Charisma 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Other than the picture in his wallet, photos of exes are fine. Just as long as they're tucked away somewhere, out of sight. Like others have said, everyone has a past, and photos bring up memories. Look at it this way...they're all exes for a reason, and when he looks at those photos he'll remember the BAD as well as the good, and it will remind him of why he's with you now.
As for the picture in the wallet, it needs to go. Why is he holding onto a picture of someone other than you, or a family member, so close? Apologize for going into his wallet, but then ask him, calmly, why he's still got her picture in there, and not one of you. It may be that he forgot to take it out, or there could be unresolved feelings. Either way, it's best that you know before you marry him. You don't want to get involved in a marriage with a man who can't let go of a past relationship.
My ex did that to me. I found a photo of his gorgeous ex-girlfriend in his wallet, and asked him about it. He said he got rid of it, then I checked again another day and it was still there. We got into it about the picture while we were driving down the Interstate, and I took it out and tossed it into traffic. He shouldn't be doing anything to make you feel as insecure as something as simple as an exes picture in his wallet can.
2007-06-15 01:41:00 · answer #3 · answered by misguidedrose18 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I have been married for 25 years, and my husband and I both have pictures of some of our ex's, just as we have pictures of old friends that we no longer see. None of them are on display or in our wallets, but we do have them. They are part of our history, and just because we keep them, does not mean that we still have romantic feelings about them. They are part of our past, and you cannot get rid of the memories ( be they good or bad ones) simply by throwing the picture away. I don't think your fiance should still have one in his wallet, so maybe you should give him a nice one of you to replace it with, but leave the others in their box.
2007-06-15 03:09:50 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Firstly lets ask yourself this question:
"If you have pictures of your ex, you know one of the exs that you had at one point been madly in love with, would you throw out all his pictures and therefore all the memories shared?"
You've bagged the man, he wants you as his wife, not anyone else. So what he wants to hold on to a picture of his ex may that picture reminds him of a great night he had when he was younger. Either way its you he wants to be with for the rest of his life.
If you really are worried then you have every right to ask him to take it out of his wallet, but thats if your willing to cop the flack for going through his stuff when he wasn't around.
Also consider this, a mans wallet his own person space. Maybe he thought ig he had the picture in his wallet he wouldn't make you upset because you would never see it.
2007-06-15 01:33:17 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I agree with *****. There is no reason expect a person to of not had a life prior to you. And asking them to throw away their pics is just the same as asking them to forget or never think about the past, even good past memories.
As for the pic of the X, probably a hindsight...does he have an old condom in there too or an old I.D. from a gym membership or anything that he no longer uses? Seriously guys clean out their wallets maybe once every decade...lol.
2007-06-15 02:08:59 · answer #6 · answered by gypsy g 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
That would be history.
You cannot change it nor should you try.
There will be a day when he will want to show his son some of the girls he dated before he found his mother.
Put them in a box in the back of the closet.
As for his wallet, STAY OUT. The wallet, and your purse for that matter, are OFF LIMITS. Guys do not clean stuff out of the wallet unless it gets too thick or they are reminded to while looking for something. he probably does not even know its in there. But now you do and you are skitzing over nothing.
Guys often keep adding things and do not remove them.
Stay out of his wallet unless you are invited to get get some cash. What are you going to do when you are married and you find that "just in case condom". Guys keep them in there for years afterward. The key is that they stay in the wallet.
STAY OUT OF THE WALLET.
Quit Snooping.
If you want him to have a photos of you, give him some.
2007-06-15 01:54:58 · answer #7 · answered by Flagger 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
No, I think that those things are part of his past. Getting married, that is if it's a healthy marriage, has nothing to do with throwing out the past or forgetting ex lovers. He deserves those things. Just because he is marrying you, doesn't mean that he is your property or loses his individuality or his history. Watch that insecurity or jealousy does not play a large role in your relationship. If you are okay with these things before the ceremony, you should be okay with them after. A wedding should not change your relationship or personalities significantly.
2007-06-15 01:26:20 · answer #8 · answered by qwertatious 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well if they are in a box no big deal, but they are his past and if you guys are getting married and moving into a house together, no need for those to come along too. The pictures in his wallet need to definitely go though. My husband has pictures in drawers, boxes, etc. If I see them and ask "who's this" he tells me and then throws it out. No big deal.
2007-06-15 02:25:23 · answer #9 · answered by Brandy 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Hey Julz, I never carried photo's in my wallet, not my G/F', my kids or anything. I sort of felt that if I cared for them why would I put them in my wallet and sit on them all day long? But your question. I think its time for him to do some house cleaning and leave the past behind and begin thinking of your future together. Hope that helps.
2007-06-15 01:27:58 · answer #10 · answered by gamerunner2001 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋