why do i disaggree with that saying '' what doesnt kill you makes you stronger''? no im bitter, ''what doesnt

Question

kill you, causes you permenant psychological damage''~.

thats what id change it to. i feel bitter and angry about everything ive had to go through in life........i dont wanna be ''strong''~ ive had no choice but to be strong, but i strongly resent what life and certain people have put me through
does anyone else relate to this?
i hate what i have been through, i have learned nothing, what am i supposed to learn through prolongued mental pain?
doesnt make sense to me. now im supposed to forgive people and not feel angry towards people...
can anyone see what im trying to say?

Answer 1

i absolutely see what you are saying. That phrase bugs me too.

It seems to me that reality is more like

"What doesn't kill you may make you stronger, or may make you weaker, depending on a whole lot of other things." After all, asthma doesn't kill me, but it surely is not making me stronger.

I'm bitter about a lot of stuff, too, angry and depressed about a lot other stuff. I'm older now, and safer, and in a position where i can now look at some of my childhood, and see that i did the best i could then. I am trying to learn from it now, but it sure isn't easy. Sometimes, all i learn is that i never want to treat anyone the way i was treated. And i am getting MUCH better at noticing early when i run into controlling or cruel & heartless people - the type who take no responsibility for their actions, but expect me to make their lives perfect.

When you recognize them, get the hell away.

You are supposed to forgive ( you don't have to forget or let them walk all over you, still) so that the crap doesn't continue to poison your life and thoughts. Sometime i can do it, sometimes i can't.

As for what we both learned through prolonged mental pain - that we are tough, that we are not push-overs, that we survived is spite of other people's cruelty. and maybe that we have a chance to write our future, even if we can't re-write our past.

Answer 2

Yes I can relate to you. I have been through a lot of turmoil, loss and physical & emotional pain in my life and I was very bitter and angry about it for a long time. I have finally learned that the bitterness and resentment only made it worse on me. I am 33 yrs old and already disabled, living in chronic pain 24/7. Of course along with constant pain comes depression and anxiety. I have learned a lot along the way, however. I think if you look at it differently, you will see that you have learned some lessons along the way. I try to be thankful for my life because when I look around me, I see many people who are worse off than I am. Don't waste any more of your life being bitter and angry. Get some help from a counselor to work through these feelings and get your life back! You can control how you react to situations and your life can be so much more fulfilling if you get the help to work through this. I wish you the best. Start living again....never give up!

Answer 3

Sorry for what you've been thru & how you now feel! There are a lot of jerks out there who can be real a**holes! But there really are nice, respectful people out there too! I was in an abusive relationship for years & a lot of times been cheated on, lost both my parents w/i weeks of eachother & a couple months later learned that one of my sisters was actually my "birth mom". I'm not sure what the heck I've learned from all of this, except like you, to be a bit bitter & even a bit "*itchier" and much "harder"! Ppl keep telling me to get over it, & most of it I am, but dang, I was beginning to wonder when something good was going to happen to me. I'm just focused now on my 4 children & new husband & try to go on w/ life. It seems to get better each year! I realise now how lucky & happy I really am now--FINALLY!! Try not to dwell on the past, although I miss my mom & dad a LOT!!! Maybe try to focus on some good things in your life & I hope one day soon you'll be happier & less bitter! Sounds like the other ppl that hurt you are the real loosers here, not you!!! Good Luck!

Answer 4

Can't see but sure has hell appreciate what you are saying guess you just gotta keep putting one foot in front of the other and hope like hell it works. I've had some real bad things done to me physically and mentally by family but you know I some how have manged get married and to raise two good kids, have good days and bad days reckon its just a matter of putting the past where it belongs in the past and heading on towards a better future bitterness will only hurt you in the end so you just gotta try another way of living this one life you have been given. Take Care now

Answer 5

Fantome - you have not learnt but that it's as much as you to allow emotional matters harm you or now not. Yes matters occurred to you however it is over now until you preserve the ones harm emotions alive. You can both be trained from the soreness and get on with it or preserve on soreness - however you do have a alternative. If you think you'll be able to get beyond emotional/mental harm and paintings on it you are going to. If you think it's everlasting then you're going to be caught ceaselessly. It's nonetheless as much as you to select the ache or select to heal. Like others have mentioned earlier than forgiveness you do for your self to loose your self as much as heal. You will in no way fail to remember however ultimately you are going to come to have an understanding of that striking directly to anger/ache makes you in poor health and maintains hurting till you allow it cross. Trust me in this I've had a few huge matters to be irritated and sour approximately additionally and it has harm me over and over again. Now I believe that was once then that is now and I am more potent for the revel in. Life is not ultimate.

Answer 6

I understand what you are saying because I have been there, but I did come out of it stronger and learned that the only thing I am in control of is MY ATTITUDE about life. I can not control other people or their attitudes. So if people or circumstances are bothering you stay away from them, you do have that choice. Keep putting yourself where you will be hurt or get away from it. I choose to live a life without my biological family because all they have ever done is try to hurt me and each other. It is your choice be strong and run your own life or keep being a victim

Answer 7

You have a choice...you can be a victim or a survivor. It's a real shame that you refuse to rise above the petty things in life and to create a more harmonious life for yourself. Only WE get to choose how we see life and how we deal with it...no one is doing this to you but you...you are reacting to the situations in your life instead of responding and moving forward. Stop feeling so angry and sorry for yourself. I had a crappy life growing up and I chose to get over it!! Why let the choices of others consume you so badly?? Why do you give them all of your personal power and control over you? Let it go! We make choices and we live with them. No one owes you a life but you!

Answer 8

Son of Lord Liu Bei, enjoyed his life throughout, and he don't need to be strong. It's because of his status, and self-content.

A swordsman train his son hard, because he know his son is not Liu Bei's son, and need to face their real world. "Be any weaker and someone will suffer", said the swordsman to his son who still can't see his future.

Second part: Why forgive people?
Knowing human including yourself is NOT perfect and CONFIRMED to make lots of mistake. Forgive is to make your life easily and better.

Answer 9

i am sitting on the couch right next to you! i always thought that was bull...if it doesn't kill you...it can still maim you for life! people who say that just don't want to take any responsibility for the crap they put you through or don't want to actually listen to you try to deal with it...

Answer 10

Yes. Take your revenge.