I have a relationship with a boy at school, we love each other so much, but I was born of a ecclesiastic family, my parents won't be cool if they aware of it.. recently I just found my messages tagged READ, but actually I've no done that..
I'm scared, what should I do if they found out?
2007-06-14 23:44:36 · 24 answers · asked by Oliver 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
I'm 18 by the way..
2007-06-18 14:49:57 · update #1
just be honest about it...
No matter what happens, you cannot live your life a lie...
2007-06-15 00:22:40 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Although honesty is the best policy, it's not *always* the best policy if you're potentially causing harm to yourself. Bear in mind that your parents have the ability to make your life pretty hellish if you are underage and/or living at home- they can take you out of school/not allow you to see your boyfriend, they can make things miserable for you at home, etc.
I'm not trying to say "don't come out until you're financially independent," but it's just something to think about. Would you be prepared if your parents told you you could never see this boy again? What if they wanted you to transfer schools? Or go to therapy? You know your parents best, so you can probably gauge how they'll react.
If your parents already found out, you would probably be able to tell by the way they were acting towards you, and they would probably want to talk to you about it.
Good luck.
2007-06-15 06:27:28 · answer #2 · answered by squirrely 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You didn't mention your age?
the worst that can happen is they are angry or feel betrayed. They may even feel like they failed as parents.
Now that you see it from their side, look at it like this.
Your parents are Christians, and they feel that it is their duty to raise you properly. It is also their job to love you no matter what.
If this is not a trial run, being with a guy, ( I doubt it is) then the best thing to do is be honest with them.
Sit them down and tell them before they can accuse you. Tell them how you feel and that you are not doing this to hurt them, but that they have taught you to be honest and that is what you are doing.
Make sure you tell them that you love them, and that you will always put them first, but this is a part of yourself that you can't deny.
Remember that you are your own person and no one can change that.
2007-06-18 06:36:08 · answer #3 · answered by † Seeker of Truth † 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well are you gay? them be a man and say yep, sorry I didn't think it was a big deal. i mean you love me rite? because I love you even with all your faults I will always love you. then if there good parents lets hope they will respond with support and respect. even the ones that say its cool will have to go into a place were they will need to deal with the idea but like everything good it needs to be giving time to adjust.
good luck but remember your not alone and you cant change who your love, and your parents hopefuly will know this.
2007-06-22 07:14:24 · answer #4 · answered by will m 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be honest and no matter what, be proud of who you are. Point out to them that nothing has changed. You are still the same person you always were, and the same person they have always loved. Your heart cannot help who you love. Your mind can't shut out who you find attractive. The only difference is you don't want to hide who you are anymore. You have always loved them and always will. Make it clear that you are still you and you are still a part of them. (remember DNA...enough said)
2007-06-22 11:15:01 · answer #5 · answered by L.A. H 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If they haven't said anything by now, they are mulling it over/talking about it/deciding what to say to you. (When I told my Dad, he didn't talk to me for days and then wrote me a 4 page letter! and he'd NEVER written ANYONE!) Let them talk about it, they may not say anything, but ignore it, hope you're going thru a "Phase" or hope it'll go away when you "meet a nice girl". My Dad, who has since passed away, had difficulty at 1st, but eventually told me that although he did not really understand or condone it, he loves and accepts me, trusts my judgement and just wants me to be with the 1 that loves me, treats me with respect and kindness, no matter what they are...
if they don't accept it right away, know that they may one day...a lot of us find love/acceptance/closeness with our gay friends...thus the nickname "Family" all the best to you...
2007-06-21 08:40:34 · answer #6 · answered by lil_fem_mommie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well there really is nothing you can do but if they do find out tell them that they may be your parents but its who you are you cant do anthing about it so they need to accept who you are!!maybe you can work somthing out!
p.s. if you and the boy did it yet or like had a major make out
you should consider telling your parents they might understand.
2007-06-22 09:50:23 · answer #7 · answered by minnymunch 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i can understand your worrie. on the other hand im only 16 and my mom knows not my dad. and he never will. see the thing is is that if you really love this guy then why would they stand in your way of happiness. and if your mom loves like i think she might then its always a little easier to break the news to her then gentle break it to your father. perhaps bring your boyfriend around so that they can meet him and get to know him and love him like they love you
good luck
i hope this helped you
2007-06-21 17:00:08 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Admit it and live with it. because of my parent I hid myself and had no relationships until I move 400 miles away from home at 23. It is not worth it
If they will love you they will love you if not, at least you get to pick your friends and they will.
2007-06-15 00:39:09 · answer #9 · answered by startrektosnewenterpriselovethem 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to tell them before they find out. They are your parents and they love you, hopefully that will overcome their dogmatic religious ideas. You need to face the facts that they are going to find out at some point and I'm sure they'd appreciate it more if it came from you.
2007-06-14 23:49:52 · answer #10 · answered by penny century 5 · 5⤊ 0⤋
if they really do love you then they would accept you for who you are my friend came out to her parents and nothing happened the majority of times they will be okay with it i mean yeah they will be a little shocked probably a second of weirdness but your their son for crying out loud they cant disown their son and change your email password
2007-06-15 02:26:26 · answer #11 · answered by ? 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋