Are there any chances?

Question

Is there any chances of a woman's getting diverted to somebody else when her husband does not have a good job, earns a meagre salary, and does not take effort to get a better job especially when his wife earning better than him and often when he lies about money matters, borrowing money spending lavishly taking money from her purse/A/c without her knowledge. Gets angry for silly things and beats her without any control when he gets angry and abuses her sometimes stating her as a characterless woman etc. And if at all her mind gets diverted what is wrong in it. Especially when she is advised by her family not to divorce . Tho the man happens to be little affectionate towards her won't all the above contribute to her divertion of mind. Inspite of her encouraging and taking efforts to find a better job.

Answer 1

It’s a human physiology & very natural that any person when see a better person in whom he or she identifies his or her spouse & want his or her spouse like that. Same is happening with you when you find another man who is better placed then your husband, is more considerate towards you, has good qualities that you want in your husband, you are getting attracted towards this fellow. You are in double mind as you don't want to cheat your husband & want him to become like this fellow but your husband is not cooperating with you nor want to change his habits which are becoming obstruction in between you two, at the same time more you meet this other guy you get more attracted towards him because of his qualities those you want to see in your husband and are unable to resist this attraction, how far this attraction take you is quite natural as a human you cannot resist for long as the husband is not cooperative & being a normal human you cannot stop your feelings. I know you must be thinking at least a man is here who understands your feeling. So what to do now? Very difficult for any one to suggest. If I say better leave your husband, get divorce you'll say that your family doesn't agree for it, here I ask you are you the sufferer or your family? You are to face the music every where whether with your husband or with your family but no one is understanding you, that’s why you are here looking for a reply. So best course is to better stop the relationship that is strangling you & giving more trouble then listening to others as no one is there to help you out against your husband's harassments & troubles. Second option which I shall not prefer as you say is continuing affair with this guy remaining still married to your husband as this is cheating for which not only I but you yourself will feel guilty but if your are free from your husband you can go ahead with your life as you wish at least the concept of cheating won't bother you then. Give a thought to this aspect. I have no idea about your children but if you have, then this new relationship can have a bad effect on their mind too till you are attached to your husband. It’s very difficult for any human being to live dual life through out as this splits his or her personality causing mental traumas in future. So decide & act accordingly.

Answer 2

I hope there are no children involved.

This creature sounds like a really dangerous individual. If he is beating and abusing her and her stupid family is advising her to stay with this guy, then they're dangerous too. They don't know much about life, because their advising her to have a miserable life.

Get the hell away from this creep, regardless of the what the family thinks. It will only get worse!

WHY would any woman stay with some creature that destroys her life? That's not what a relationship in a marriage is all about. The relationship in a real marriage is just love and happiness. That's when a MAN, not some scumbag, will take care of you and do anything to make you happy. Why would this woman rather live in hell?

File for divorce, immediately!

Answer 3

From your situation i feel you are an indian girl, this is only in indian culture where girls are taught not to get divorced.

I am an indian too...... I uderstand your situation very well.

i can say that it is very natural of diverting to someone else in your situation. and go ahead.

try to be selfish..... thats what everyone do ...


I have one more opinion as well. When you get married, you make a promise of sharing all the happiness and sorrows with each other. At the moment he is earning less than you. A man's ego never allow him to feel inferior. may be that is why he behaves like this. try to understand him, make him believe that you are not superior even if you are earning more.
As a man he will always be the head of the family. Find out if this is his problem.......

Answer 4

Sabitha,
This is not only your problem. It is happening in almost 6 houses out of 10 in India! What my suggestion is that talk to your husband that you want to see him with a better job, etc.. Tell him that you really care for him. Believe me these words do magic. There are a few cases where the wife does not support or express her feelings to her husband and the result is end of the relationship. Give your relationship a last try.

If it does not happen, discuss this with a person in your family (not about your deviation, about your hubby's behaviour). The person should be such that he/she can do something about it but not by harming you. He/she should support you!! You have to choose this person very carefully, it can be your mother, father, sister or anyone in whom you can confide!!!

If this also does not work, I'll suggest that leave your hubby!! There is no point in carrying such a relationship. You can live independently, as you are earning (as you have written this in your question). No matter what your family says about it. It is a matter of your freedom!!!

Every person on Earth has the right to be happy, your divertion is justified but you have to take things seriously. If the person is also in love with you, then you SHOULD divorce your hubby and plan your future with that guy.

Think very carefully about it!!

Answer 5

Of course there's a chance of a woman getting diverted to somebody else when her husband is abusive, not affectionate, and no good. But, don't you think it would be better to get a divorce rather than having an affair? If you got a divorce, you could then be free to find someone else who would treat you better. Tell your family you love them, but can not take their advice, because if you took their advice, you might be dead!

Answer 6

u can survive in this wrld if only if u r strong. only happiness gives u strength 2 face wrld. ur husband cant b called actually ur husband
u r nt wrong 2 get diverted so as to get sme happiness in ur life
bt u shud fst divorce ur husband for tht no use of a relation which actually is insult to relationof husband & wife
this was frm ur view
now ur hubbys view
he s jelous tht u earn more jst 1nce try 2 change him by love jst 1 last time may b a relation may b a relation may b saved if this doesnt wrk 1st option is apt & diversion is totally apt

Answer 7

Dont sacrifice your life for your family's sake. I know, people dont welcome the idea of divorce. But then, when they see you happy after divorce, they will be happy for you. Especially, if you are financially not dependent on anyone, you can certainly take that step. Make a point that you dont depend with your family. Stay independendently.

But, make sure that you are not interested in somebody else just because you are not happy in this relationaship. If you are looking to find what you dont have in this relationship, you will spoil your relationship. Get involved with someone only if you are really in love with him and not because you can escape from this situation.

Answer 8

Dear Sabita,
Your case is genuine, leave that fool and go ahead with your bright future. This mismatch would only lead to miserable future not only to you but your would be child too.
What would you reply them? Its better to make it history before the guest arrival rather than darken their life. Your character would be judged by deeds, you would not be doing any thing wrong.
Dont fall a prey to relatives as its your own future not your relatives or other family members.
Just tell me whats the fun in suffering like this through out your life? You are not a burden to your husband instead its vise verse.

Answer 9

Yes one can move in Family Court or Civil Court as the case may be for divorce on the ground of cruelty as stated in your statement of facts. Divorce may be granted on such count.

Answer 10

I used to offer countless opportunities and sweetness why i develop into constantly getting stepped on and used. I rarely provide something extra suitable than a 2nd risk till you're an exceedingly close and depended on confidant.