is kissing cheating.. if so how do i tell my husband, also, i like the guy that i kissed, yet he's married 2

Question

1st of all my husband is already insecure.... if i told him that i kissed someone else he will automatically assume that i don't want to be with him.. I don't have his trust as it is. yes, i love my husband with all my heart. i'm 20, i was a virgin until i met him and now i'm curious about other people.. i never been out with anyone else.. and now i feel as if i've made a mistake.. not by marrying but by being so reserved.. he's< 23> and had his fun and slept with more people than a little... what do i do?

there's a lot more... my husband doesn't trust me because of what other people did to him... i was faithful to him for a whole year and he still accused me of cheating almost everyday..
the reason i was so reserved is because my parents didn't approve of going out/ hanging out with friends..
my first date was at 19... my first kiss... my first everything.. i do love my husband and i didn't want him to get away.... he is a very good man.. plus we hardly do anything together besides make love and we barely do that> we both work all the time.. i'm off on weekends but he's working.. i'm on 2nd shift, he's on 3rd... so i see him 30 minutes a day.. and that's when i'm getting dressed for work..< where i spend 40 hours a week.. i don't know what to do... i don't want to divorce> don't believe in it> but we need help already.. can't tell him because he will assume > that i don't want to b with him

Answer 1

first of all you need to tell him because no matter what secrets don't stay secrets forever one day he will know and if he gets to know by someone else its not good you should tell him by first making him promise that he won't get mad after telling be like u r sorry and would never do it again. Secondly if you wanna make this marriage work you NEED to get his trust. thirdly your husband might be insecure maybe bcuz he loves u a lot but maybe doesn't show, because men in reality are really protective of their women. so what if he has slept with more people he is yours now. you should be happy bcuz what if the guy u kissed is just using u for fun for the time being. the only thing that matters that you are happy if yes then age doesn't matter at all. why do people get married is bcuz ppl think that they found that perfect guy they were looking for so i bet that is why you got married too and you will never find another guy like him.
There's still a lot more i wanna say but i hope this helps and ask to know more if u want.
Best of luck!!!

Answer 2

I married at 22 and even that was too young (working on divorce now at 30, although it's been 3 years in the making). Honestly from what you said, I think you need to re-think your marriage. It doesn't sound like you're marriage is very secure and it shouldn't be this way at only 3 months if at all. Kissing is cheating. You're giving a part of you to someone else that only your husband should have.

Answer 3

Yes. That is cheating.

It's hard, but it is part of marriage to stay true to your significant other and to remember eachothers' vows. There will always be urges, now and even in your thirties-- now and forever and it is a choice that you will have to make for you and your husband. Yes, he had his fun, and you're most probably curious, too but it will be hard for you now because you have already entered a marriage, a promise to keep. You must have been aware that before getting married that you will not be able to do such things anymore.

As for love, always reassure him that you love him and just because you kissed another guy doesn't mean that you love him any less. Although, in my humble opinion, I do not agree with your actions towards kissing another person, but if you are goin to tell him, make sure that you reassure you love him and explain why you did what you did.

Tell him straight up. "Babe, I have to tell you something. I want to be honest with you and I feel really bad about it. I'm so sorry baby..." Then tell him.

Unless... if he's really open-minded about it, and this is more unorthodox, not as common and shouldn't be practiced in marriages, but if he is open-minded then ask for his permission to do so, but if this was my marriage I would defnitely not allow my husband to try to kiss others.

It's really a matter of how much respect you have for your relationship and how much you are willing to make the effort to keep your marriage alive and true.

Best wishes

Answer 4

I feel so bad for your husband. Why do you want to tell him these things.... just to hurt him? Kissing a married guy and you are married?? Do you have any moral decency or is the world just all about what make you feel good at the moment? You don't love your husband. You feel you have missed out?? oh Waaaaah ! Poor poor pitiful you!! You have no clue what the word love means. Here is a hint : you don't betray the trust and risk the pain of someone you love. You are really selfish to say the least. You are making excuses for yourself and you know it. You need to get some professional counseling to work through all these feelings and maybe you can save your marriage, although that really doesn't seem fair for your husband to be stuck with you. You definitely should not have married him in the first place, but now that you have you need to at least try to work at being a decent wife.

Answer 5

If you think it's cheating, then it is. I think you've just disrespected yourself, up to this point. Being a virgin was OK. Having had a few partners was OK. But now you have each other so enjoy it. The grass isn't always greener on the other side; it looks that way cause it's farther away. Get close and it's the same as in your own back yard.
Find a few things, activities you can do together, and against each other. And don't forget the obvious, sex.

Answer 6

The time to be curious was before marriage, not after. His distrust of you, did not come from no where, and seems to have some merit. Only three months married and already looking elsewhere. You should of waited longer to get married. You still have alot of growing up to do. You have no respect for your marriage or your husband. Just do not do it again, and stay faithful to your husband.If you tell him, then expect him to not have much faith in you. It will take a long time to build the trust between you.

Answer 7

Well of course it's cheating since real sex is only one step away.
I'm not sure how you can live with a guy who is accusing you of cheating almost everyday. That's very abusive.
That would be like working for an employer who accused you of stealing everyday.
How long would that last?
Your husband is probably cheating himself IMO.
If a guy, at age 23 is not interested in sex like every minute , he's either gay or cheating himself.
If you want to stay married you should get into marriage counseling.

Answer 8

Yes it is cheating and even though you say you love him you are not ready for marriage. You still want to explore other men and it will happen again and next time it might be more than a kiss. Think about it you have only been married 3 months and you let another man touch you what does that have say about you.

Answer 9

Don't tell him that you kissed the other guy, but I would not make a habit of this. You have no idea how much damage cheating does to a marriage. It destroys most marriages. So if you love your husband but the curiosity aside and be curious with him and only him. Stay away from other men, especially married men.!!!!

Answer 10

If ur husband is already unsecure.... Do NOT tell him abt the kiss... and better if u forget it too...
The best thing to do is focus on ur husband and getting all his trust and interest in u.

And not having gone out or being reserved is not a mistake. you still have lot of time. Go out with ur husband often and make ur life beautiful.

Make sure that ur husband loves u... get it all from him, its rightfully yours !!!!