What will rejuvinate my sex life with my wife?

Question

It just seems like she is not open to try new things. If I mention having sex anywhere but the bedroom she thinks I am crazy. Before we were married we would have sex 3-4 times a day and everywhere...the beach, the movies, the park. Now we have a 3 yearold son and her sex drive is GONE. Please help me ladies tell me your thoughts.

Answer 1

It may not be her sex drive, it could be her energy...raising a 3 year old is a full time job and then she still has to care for you and the house. She'll balance it out in time and it'll get better. If not, try counseling, not for just her but for the both of you and be receptive of what she says during those sessions. Life is what happened...Sex makes baby and baby makes tired. Daddy has to wait his turn. Try and be patient.

And Junia Z has got some good points, too.

Answer 2

It may not be gone, but tamed a bit! She is thinking like a mom, not a lover. Talk to her, tell her you love her and appreciate her being such a nurturing woman, and ask her if she remembers what it was like. You would like some of her nurturing to be aimed toward you! Ask her for some suggestions as to what you could do to create more spontaneity in your sex life.
If she can't come up with anything or becomes angry at the questions, it could be she needs to go back to the gynecologist and let them know she has lost her sex drive. There could be medical reasons why this has happened and she may need your support and patience sorting it all out. Don't give up on her unless she refuses to consider making some changes or does not make any effort to talk about it and get some help.

Answer 3

Let someone watch your kid for the weekend and take her away on a little trip. If you take some time to pamper her and make her feel loved without the pressure of sex, she may come around. If you can't arrange to have anyone watch your kid, or if your schedules don't allow for a weekend trip, get her a full body massage or some time at a spa. Sometimes even the little, unexpected things will turn a woman on. Send her flowers at work for no reason. Cook dinner for her. Do all those things around the house that she has been nagging you to do. Write a love letter.

Answer 4

Why dont you try to be romantic. That usually gets the juices running. A woman cant turn it on and off like men can. You are gunna have to put some effort into it to get some good results. Remember the things you use to do before you moved in together, got married and had a child!!! And organize someone to mind your son for the night. That may help with the screaming you are hoping to achieve.

Answer 5

ask her why she doesn't want to have sex anymore. usually there are underlying issues. then try to work it out. don't force her to do stuff she is not comfortable doing. that's a major turn off. just suggest it and if she is open to it then try it. she's probably worried that your son will walk in on ya'll. try having him spend the night at a family member's house. or try getting away for the weekend with just you too. sometimes us moms just need a break. good luck!

Answer 6

If you want to have better sex, you need to take more responsibility with your son. Help out with watching him so that she will have some time to herself. She cant feel very feminine or sexy unless she has some help with him so that she can have more rest or do something special for herself. Back when she would do it anywhere, she probably had lots of time to primp for it. You could help by making meals, or cleaning, or babysitting. Those kind of things. I think that would help her to feel more in the mood again.

Answer 7

go down on her and talk dirty to her tell her what you want to do to her in detail make her feel sexy and putting pressure on her will only make it worse you could try sex toys hand cuffs choclate syrup strawberrys and whip cream tell her how pretty she is and how bad you want her and u could also try talking to her and telling her that u want to try new things and u have sexual need that need to be met and see what her problem is what it really is and whats going on with her she might just need to vent and has to many things on her mind and isnt feeling sexual let her tell u all her problems and just listen maybe she just need some understanding and besides your son what is different now than when u first got together you should do something u guys used to do all the time and i really think the talking thing is a good one just let her speak her mind and let it all out men want sex women want to talk if shes having resenment or is angry at u for something u may not even be aware of her frusteration in day to day life could be whats ruining your fun time see if theres anything none sexual u could do to make her happy it could be something as simple as helping her out around the house

Answer 8

I had this problem as well and it is VERY frustrating!! You are simply going to have to do it her way. Romance her, cuddle, snuggle, oil massages...warm her up and gradually introduce a little kinkiness into your lovemaking. You cannot throw it at her all at once. Start by slowing incorporating spontaneous but woman friendly things into the bedroom and you will gradually get there...But do NOT get frustrated with her because she will b turned off for months.

Answer 9

A woman's libido is a little different than a man. You have to get there engine started and once it's started there's no turning back, try to be a little more subtle. Then give it to her hard and long (as long as you can). Children don't help when it comes's to sex but try not to be so selfish and think only of yourself as I'm sure your little one demands allot of attention. Good luck!

Answer 10

Get out some old pictures and talk about good old times some time. Remind her of how much fun you used to have. If you are lucky that will be enough to get her to see a doctor on her own. If that doesn't work, you need to take the dangerous step of suggesting she see a doctor.