I've been married for 19 years, we used to lead a marriage bible study to help other couples. I'm sadden that we have helped others and they use their tools to work on their marriages, yet my husband won't use the tools we encourage others to use. I stepped down from the class and am heartbroken that my husband won't go to counseling. We go through this cycle it seems like every 6 months or so, but I have gotten to the point of complete exhaustion of the up and down roller coaster ride with him. I really would love for some help on how to continue in the marriage basically living single lives minus the infidelity.
2007-06-14 19:23:23 · 10 answers · asked by Blue E 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If you have children, stay together for their sake. If you don't, get a divorce. He is unwilling or unable to conttibute to a working relationship so screw him.
2007-06-14 19:27:46 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋
Wow 19 years is a long time. It's sound to me that you both our Christians (as I am) and after 2 failed marriages (before becoming a Christian) and working on a third. I feel there is only one thing that you truly can do. Give it to Him and put your faith in Him to give you the tools and strength you need to make this marriage work. God already knows what's going to happen and if this marriage should fail than you did everything that you possibly could do, and with your faith in Him and living right and trusting in Him and it fails. It's not your fault and Our Loving God has something way better in store for you. You know it's funny how some things may seem the end of world at the time but then when your in a better place and you look back on them in a few years, your so glad not to be in that place you once were. But had you had the faith you wouldn't have worried about it, eh?
I'm not saying by all means end your marriage. But work on it to the best of your ability with all God has to give you and ask Him in prayer because there is not much more you can do. I will be praying for you and your husband that you come together as one walking in your faith.
God Bless You!
2007-06-14 19:40:18 · answer #2 · answered by Pebbles66 1 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I don't really know how to answer you. I understand your problem. Will you husband consider talking to your minister with you? Probably not if he won't go to counseling. If I were you, I would either talk to your minister or go to a Christian counselor on your own. Or as an alternative, make an appt. and then ask your husband to go with you. Give him the date and time and tell him if he doesn't wish to go that you will go on your own. Either a minister or a counselor may be able to give you some tools so that you can have peace in your marriage as it is.
Good luck to you.
2007-06-14 19:47:05 · answer #3 · answered by Patti C 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow i feel for you. Its really hard when your with someone who maybe isnt on the same spiritual level as you. Maybe he has past hurts he refuses to deal with? It could be so many things, i think your asking how to cope with this though. As a Christian i would do some major praying. I picked up an awesome book its called "7 things he wont tell you, but you should know" (very close to that) its by Dr Kevin Leeman. He is a very good counsellor, and maybe by you reading a book God might give you the insight on how to handle whats going on with your husband. If you have to for now for your family be the Christian head of the home, without making him feel like your stepping on him then do it. Ill be praying for you. ~ Shekinah ~
2007-06-14 19:29:18 · answer #4 · answered by sheky r 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Hi Blue,
Chriist and I are praying for you, your husband and your household.The Lord has given the Woman directions in the New Testament in how to deal with a Husband that either is in open unbeliever or is showing themselves by their actions that he's in unbelief. Please read 1 Peter 3:1-9 and go over the Fruits of the Spirit in Galatians 5:22-25, as well as 1 Corinthians 13:4-7. You apply these in your own personal life, and be that example of Christ's Love for your Husband and family.The Devil(who is the thief) has come to kill, steal, and destroy.But Christ has come to give us Life, and life abundantly. Don't give up on your Husband and your vows.Christ and the Father have given us an example on not giving up on us.Lord be with you.May His Grace strengthen you, and please come against the enemies ploys by your enduring love.Amen.In JESUS CHRIST who suffered for us.Chriist and Pastor B
2007-06-14 19:50:51 · answer #5 · answered by brian b 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
If you are a Cristian woman then you know the answer is to pray. Only God can get your marriage back on track. You have to pray and have faith that God will guide you and your husband. Seek counseling for your marriage. Seek counseling for yourself. Don't give up. Remain steadfast. Don't lose your faith in your marriage. That is just the devil discouraging and distracting you. Don't let him steal your joy. You made vows before God. Honor them: for better or for worse.
2007-06-14 19:34:52 · answer #6 · answered by sweettee 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Only he can make this step without being pushed. Sometimes, that change never happens, and the relationship actually breaks up. Hopefully, this won't happen to you, but explain to him just what you've said about him being a hypocrite (helping others with the Word) and not willing to build on It in your marriage. Then pray to God for his direction.
2007-06-14 19:30:28 · answer #7 · answered by msthinkpositive 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Uh, Christ shouldn't be leading anything in your marriage. If you really let religion interfere with your marriage you need to open your mind a little bit. You should love each other based on each other not on some belief system. Sounds like your husband is a bit wiser in realizing this. God doesn't mend broken marriages. Trust me, I'm sure you won't go to 'hell' if you let him follow his own beliefs and be more tolerant. But you will be in a living hell if you throw away 19 years of marriage on a belief that you follow only on faith.
2007-06-14 19:26:47 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 3⤋
It would seem to me that you have chosen religion over your husband...if I were him, I would leave you. You are trying to cram your beliefs down his throat. Has the possibility that he has had a serious change of heart when it come to all this stuff you believe in? Well, it should have by now. Yet you insist that he follow your way of life. Yes, dear, you wold be set free to follow whatever path you wanted if you were married to me. I have limited tolerance for religious people who believe all or nothing. You have chosen nothing, and I hope your bible is adequate company for you...good luck
2007-06-14 19:28:02 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 3⤋
prayed to God about it, maybe he needs time, but don't do the single lives ur marriage will fall apart Good Luck
2007-06-14 19:28:40 · answer #10 · answered by hey 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋