He keeps trying to kiss me- i am just uncomfortable?

Question

My husband and I are going through a very hard time right now. I am moving out and we are most deffinitly filing for a divorce. But he keeps trying to kiss me and hug up on me. I go stiff when he does that- you see i was sexually abused by my ex and also by 2 close friends. He knows these things, and yet he still wont back off from me when i go stiff and cold. I have told him i dont like it and that i am uncomfartable. The worst is when he pins me and almost has this "im gonna make you love me" hold on me and starts kissing me (eventhough i dont open my mouth). Things are very shacky with us right now. We could not talk all day or he could be in a sh*t and then when he feel like it he will be "affectionate"- what do i do?

Answer 1

You need pro help, are driving your husband away as I am sure that has what has happened in your marriage. You were raped...that is life and cannot be changed. Yet you want to have this influence everything in your life..you have driven a guy who loved you away by these actions. There comes a time in everyone's life when they have to accept responsibility for their actions, you have not found this time. You prefer to blame your rape for your actions. And, I have to add, not meaning to be mean, for I think you have had enough of that in your life, what are /have you done to be raped by three different men? Wrong place wrong time? I have no idea, but I do know that a man will not pay YOUR price forever. There is only so much understanding to go around. You have had the power to get help, get through this and get on with life. Not all men want or will rape you. You have yet to learn this. good luck

Answer 2

Ive been in a similar position. The only thing to do is get out. Some guys dont understand you verbally and physically giving them signs and telling them. Sometimes you just have to move out fast, if that means being in a motel for few nights or staying at a female friends possibly that you trust?
For him to not respect and care that youve been assulted like that is horrible. But he is thinking "i can make her change her mind with my sexuality". All you can do is say stop it, and this is hurting me. He may not realize how closed off you are already since your still physically in the house. It would be great if you can find a counsellor that you can vent all this too. So you can get help to overcome your past abuse and move forward. Take some time for you and i pray that youll get the help you need. ~ Sheky~

Answer 3

If he loved you he would not do those things and respect that.
Do you still love him? It seems he still got feelings for you and dont want you to get a divorce. It could be sign of rape
if you let him do that he could end up raping youand abussing u. You should probably stay away from him.

Answer 4

you know what, your husband is not those people who sexually abused you. so get over it and quit treating him like he's doing something wrong by trying to be affectionate with the woman he married. You won't even open your mouth when you kiss him?? no wonder y'all are getting a divorce.

This is coming from someone who has also been sexually abused on one occasion.

Answer 5

Move out as soon as you can. Get away from him. Have others around whenever he's there (if possible). I realize this may be economically impossible but work toward it. And tell him exactly how you feel. Ask him if he has any feelings about anything and if so, would he like you to respect those feelings? Then point out that you, too, have feelings and would like him to respect your feelings. But the best is to move out.

Answer 6

Then move out already, why are you still there. It obvious you need to see a phycologist you have gone thru some bad physical & mental problems Get help now.