how do i stop thinking about how my life could have been?

Question

I feel like i have screwed up my life as i have somehow ended up working as a receptionist for my father when i know i could have been so much more, now all i can see myself doing is thinking for the rest of my life of where i woul dbe had i stayed in my last job overseas and hooked up with the guy i was interested in,..........i would be so happy and spend all my time imagining what iw ould be doing rather thna thinking about what i'm doing now, i cant see anything getting me back to the girl i used to be and any jobs i choose now i dont think they will ever be the same as the one i had, i cannot see anything making me better now as i have alienated all my friends and family and am not the same girl as i used i now have no energy to look for other jobs and just think about how much more i could be doing with my life. How can i stop thinking like this and move forward?

Answer 1

I can truly empathize, having had similar experiences. What I had to do was to first give myself a break. Until I forgave myself I was unable to make a realistic assessment of the "now." And without that info I never would've been able to evaluate my individual strengths and weaknesses.

Once that was done I took appropriate measures to capitalize on the good, and correct or enhance what was lacking. It can be a time consuming process, but this is a worthwhile investment in oneself. And it's a personal accomplishment no one can ever take from you.

All the "could have, would have, and should have" thinking is self-defeating. To voluntarily stay in that mindframe is no better than diving head-first into quicksand. If you want happiness and fulfillment, take responsibility (and actions) for getting "you" back. Life is what happens while we're fantasizing and/or blaming everybody else. Want a future? Work on your "now."

Yesterday's history.
Tomorrow's a mystery.
Today's a gift. That's why it's called "the present."

Who do you want driving your life today? How about tomorrow? ;oD

Answer 2

Hi Sallyjane,

Memories are wonderful, allowing us to cherish good times, learn from our mistakes and occasionally remember where we last put our car keys. They're just that though; memories.

Your personal happiness does not depend on them. Life does not work that way. You have to choose to move forward.
You have to choose to do what you know you need to do. Decide that you want to be happy - by telling yourself to be less angry! That's the first step... you have a future, so go live it well!

Answer 3

Well, if you have no children thats 1 point to thinking ahead now, what got you there to work with your father? If you are helping him ,use that as your first step to think forwards and not back wards,if you keep thinking about what couldve been, (which I do alot)you'll only be dragging yourself down. You have time to save money while working with your father. Think of your next destination.

Answer 4

I have those feelings everyday you are not alone. When you keep thinking about the past it never let's you go so that you can live in the present and look towars the future.What happened in the past is done and you can not change it.Now you got to start changing the present mabey make connections to you friends again for support. Your life is not over . You can IM me for support

Answer 5

dont see it as what it could of been , but what it could be!your still young,go out find yourself.theres so much out there, dont settle for what you got.skys the limit . you can do anything.and you know what,your life will be better then before.and youll prolly find a guy who is better and a job thats better then your previous job!you wont know till you go out and look!theres so many options.dont stand around wishing because youll regret it for the rest of your life!its not where you been but where your going!