So here's the thing. I'm a heterosexual guy. I like women and I've recently started getting into much better physical condition, which has caused me to start getting out more and becoming more active. I'm a married guy. I have 2 absolutely beautiful children. I would do anything in the world for them. My wife (I call her that though we are not married) is a great mother and loves me very much. I love her back with all my heart and could never leave her for anything ever. We're happy (sort of - our financial situation could be better) and we get along emotionally, BUT, we don't DO ANY of the same things. We don't go out together, we don't have any commonalities with regards to the activities we enjoy. So here's the problem. I really like having female companionship in the things I like to do (like climbing, hiking, camping, sports of many different kinds, movies, etc.), so, even though I don't want to "cheat" with another girl I find myself compelled to do so. What should I do?
2007-06-14 17:26:06 · 9 answers · asked by ? 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Well, you need to tell her that you have to develop some common hobbies... and that it would mean a lot to you if she'd go hiking with you, and you'll do something she likes in exchange. The question is why do you prefer female companionship for things like hiking- why not male? It seems to indicate that you're hoping to find someone more compatible- and if you really love your woman, you ought to let her know how you feel and give her the opportunity to be that woman you're (latently) looking for.
2007-06-14 17:38:40 · answer #1 · answered by caryn t 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
man dont listen to the marriage thing unless its what you both want.thats why we have the divorce rate we do.no one takes it seriously anymore.as for your predickament.its going to have to be you as the lead in this.show her that you are wanting and willing to get more involved in her life.she should follow suit as been said take turns with eachother.and never ever say anything neg.about her turn in the begining.you will be single.if she does not or will not follow suit and stand beside you to make it work.sure sign both of you need someone else.take the initiative and show her.no marriage it doesnt solve the problems it just intensifies them.and dont cheat if shes not willing to work witth you then youll get some strange soon enouph.i wish my ex would get hit by a train and i still fill quilty for cheating.hang in there soon your relationship will be at a level you never dreamed or i pray a friendship lasts because those kids are more important then you her or anything.they need to see that you two can talk and be kind to eachother.im done rambling now.i wish you two all the best and pray everything works out for the best.Remember its about the kids!!!!
2007-06-15 01:56:58 · answer #2 · answered by iamwhoiam151 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to your 'wifey'. Tell her you would rather do these things with her than anyone else. If you need females with you when you do these things, maybe bring along their b/f's or close male friends of your or hers as well. Make it a group thing. That way you won't cheat when you have such a good thing going. Also, do some soul searching to see why you feel that you are 'compelled to cheat'? I am married and I love hanging out more with guys than girls, but have never ever felt the need or urge to cheat on my hubby-even before we got married. Good luck, and I hope this helps.
2007-06-15 00:38:48 · answer #3 · answered by Chris G 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Even though you don't "want" to cheat, you find yourself "compelled" to do so? Hmmmmm - that sounds like a cop out to me. You say you love your wife, and she loves you and you have two kids you would do anything for. How about keeping their family together? Don't act on urges or impulse and ruin your kids lives. Be a dad they can respect. Kids learn by example. Go climbing or hiking and camping with other men who like to do it, they are called "friends", and you don't have to be gay to hang out with them. I hate seeing people giving up on relationships just to try something new. You never appreciate what you have till you lose it. Talk to your wife, if she won't go, get a male friend to go. You don't need it to be "women". You are talking yourself into accidentally cheating, don't do it!!
2007-06-15 00:42:41 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I totally feel you man.DON'T CHEAT!!!!!.Just take turns doing what you like to do with each other.Like maybe do something she likes to do one time and the next do something you would like to do.That should even things out.
2007-06-15 01:06:05 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would just be honest with her and let her know that you want
to be more active with her , if you dont you will start to look
else where to get what you want.but it sound like you want
to be a good husband but she need to be more support
of what this.
2007-06-15 00:35:49 · answer #6 · answered by luckystar 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marry the mother of your children. Maybe she would be more interested in you if you were in her.
2007-06-15 00:42:43 · answer #7 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Marry her, then you both can compromise and do things together and she likes/you like.
2007-06-15 01:23:03 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Why is s he not good enough to marry?
2007-06-15 07:47:12 · answer #9 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋