19 years old.. to young?

Question

I'm just looking for peoples opinions (but please dont post nasty comments)

I am 19 years old and I am really wanting a child.. do you think I’m to young?

Now read all of the details to my situation and does your mind change at all: I’m 19, turning 20 shortly and I have been with my partner for 3 years. We have bought a house, we have a car each, good well paying jobs and could easily live off one source of income. My partner (23years old) is soon moving into a new position which will be working 5 weeks away 5 weeks home (only working the weeks away).. We have very supportive families and cant wait for grandchildren.. my father is currently quite ill and has been given approx 2 years left.. and I really want him to be a grandfather before he passes (as does he).. what are your opinions??

Answer 1

i think that's beautiful... i do not think it's too young... my mom had me at 19, and her and my dad are still together and we have a beautiful family =]

Answer 2

As you know, by the way you have written the question, I as well as most other people I'm sure would tell you at 19 you should wait. After reading the details I realise from the sounds of things you are a very mature and responsible young woman.

I myself had my son when I was 20 years old. I was not ready and even though my son is 10 now and I love him more than the world I was not as responsible as you seem to be at that age.

It sounds like you and your partner have a very stable home, careers, family, and relationship. In my opinion I wouldn't see one thing wrong with you two having a child. You certainly should keep in mind though what hard work it will be to raise a child essentialy by youself while your partner is away for work. Raising a baby is much harder work than most people think before having their own.

I wish you all the best and hope you are able to make the right decision.

Answer 3

Good God child. You sound like a desperate little girl.
Get a puppy. If you can take care of a puppy for five years and it lives, and you're still with your "partner" , THEN think about children. You have nothing to offer child right now. No wisdom. No life experience. And, with a "partner" away for over a month at a time, you have very little ongoing help raising this child. And by the way, he's your boyfriend unless you are gay and your "partner" is a woman. Which is fine but please don;t use a human being as a "gift" for your Dad. That is crap. I'm sure your parents would much rather see you grow up and have a life before you "settle down".

Take out a tape measure and take a look at 1- 19" and look all the way down to 80 ( a normal life span). Kiddo, you are a VERY long way from the other end of the tape. For God sake, you've only had a driver's license for 3 years. How about going to college. Get a degree. Hold down a REALLY good job for five years and THEN think about a child.

Yes, you are too young.

Answer 4

I had my first daughter when I was 19.. my Husband and I had already been married for two years (Yes we got married when I was 17 & 9 years later we are very happy)

It is not too young at all.. the age is not want is most important it is your maturity level. Also the fact that you have supportive familes and a loving realtionship will go along way. Many young women have babies and never have those things in place and they make it work.

Babies do change everything but the truth is for me having my daughter was really easy. She fit right into our lives like she had always been there. And now she is 7 years old and we have the greatest realtionship plus she is a wonderful helper and great big sister to our 2 year old and we have our 3rd on the way now.

Best of luck to you, I hope your Father is doing well & gets the chance to enjoy grandchildren soon!

Answer 5

You seem very mature. Just keep in mind that changes happen. The position your partner will soon have will have you playing the part of a single parent half of the time. That can be very difficult. You may want to see how the new job works out and what effect it has on your relationship (long distance relationships can be difficult and require a lot of trust). Does your partner also want this baby? And remember, just because you try to have a baby doesn't mean you will get pregnant right away. On the plus side, young mothers have more energy for children. Weigh all the options. Don't put your dreams aside to fulfill someone else's dream.

Answer 6

Age really isn't the issue here. It seems almost as if you want to have a baby so your dad can be a grandfather. That is not a good reason to have a baby. He may want grandkids but I'm sure he doesn't want you to have a baby just because he would like it. I'm a young mother of two. Its a lot of work. My kids are 2 and 4months. They need ALL my attention and not just me but my husband too. 5 weeks away when they are little makes a huge difference. Children and infants don't have long term memory like we do. As a baby your child would have to re-remember who its other parent was everytime they left and came back. Just remember the child isn't getting to choose if it wants to be in the sitution. Don't base your decision on making others happy. Think it through and maybe commit to each other by marriage, before you commit to a baby the rest of your lives.

Answer 7

You say partner, so I wonder if you're opposed to marriage or just not married. If you're opposed, then disregard the following sentence. I say get married first. Your situation sounds like a really stable one, and the fact that your father is ill and yearning for a grandchild makes me wanna say go for it. My big concern would be the 5 weeks on, 5 weeks off thing. That's a big lifestyle change to get used to, and not one I would want to get used to while also being hormonal and pregnant.
At the same time, I was in a stable relationship at 19 too, and although I felt ready for marriage and babies, I'm glad we decided to wait until we were older to pursue both. I consider myself to be a pretty intelligent person (as is my husband), but I'm much wiser at the age of 26 than I was at the age of 19.
I wish you the best in whatever decision you make. :)

Answer 8

Well, I would say no you're not too young if this is what you want. I was pregnant at 20 and had my son on 5 days before my 21st birthday. I would however think that if you are willing to make a monetary commitment like buying a house with your partner, and making a baby with your partner, then maybe you should commit to each other in marriage. That's just my opinion. Good luck to you and prayers for your father.

Answer 9

really sorry about your dad. i'm 20 and having my first baby (i'm 23 weeks with my baby boy!!) and my boyfriend and i have been together for 2 years, both have well paying jobs also and just bought a new car so i say yea if you can be certain that no matter what comes your way with this baby you'll be stable-then don't hold back and wonder what could've been once your dad is gone. most 19-20 yr olds aren't mature enough to hold down a steady job/own a house/or own a car. if you feel ready for a baby, just make sure your ready for what comes with a baby in a relationship as young as yours..trust me it can be hard sometimes, but to me only you know what you're really ready for. good luck

Answer 10

Hi! I totally feel empathy for your situation. It sounds like you and your guy are in the right track. You both are young but very responsible. Whose to say at what age your to have a child. At least you know that your boyfriend is financially and emotionally ready to take care of you and the baby. It's not like your under age-you're a young adult. I'm truly sorry about your dad. My father past away right before I turned 13. I'm now 22 years old and 36 weeks pregnant with my first child. Oh...how I wish my father was around to witness the birth of my baby girl. And to see his other granchildren. If your ready, your ready. God knows your heart. Your decision is your own & the most important.

Take care!

Answer 11

Go for it. The only reason people think 19 is too young is because most 19 year olds are not as well off as it sounds like you are. If you both want a child, I see no reason to wait.