No, I am not a "wall-flower", I am enough assertive. But I let people upset me. Often. I actully had to learn words to say like: "I find your behaviour unacceptable" and stuff like that. Still I question myself and beat myself up a lot, rather than say "screw you". Why is it so difficult? Are you the same? Is it because of an abusive childhood?
2007-06-14 14:17:05 · 7 answers · asked by Alyssa Macey 3 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
I am not a people pleaser and don't care what people think.
2007-06-14 14:25:36 · update #1
an abusive childhood, quite possibly that is part of it. It's really great that you have learnt to say things like "Your behaviour's unacceptable". A lot of people (women) have to teach themselves to say things like that (and to say "no") because they don't do it easily. Maybe it's because you want to please people? Maybe you think that what they want is more important than what you want? Maybe you are scared that they won't like you if you say that? Maybe you think that they might not listen to you if you say that - that they'll ignore you, or laugh, and not respect what you want? Or maybe its just hard to know when one behaviour 'crosses the line' and becomes unacceptable?
Good luck with learning to say things like "your behaviour is unacceptable!"
2007-06-14 14:22:34 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are very polite, don't want to hurt other's feelings (even tho they hurt yours). I think you should practice the "screw you" replay in the mirror and look at yourself in the eyes and think about a situation and the person involved, then really let them know what you think. Practice this in the mirror, self hypnosis! you will feel much better and people will not take you as a pushover. good luck.
2007-06-14 21:47:57 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Naw! It sounds to me like you actually have manners, and do not wish to offend anyone. But, you must remember that you have the right to be comfortable in life as well. It sounds to me like you've got a few phrases ready to use, but you need to be more assertive in your belief for self comfort. Don't let people step on you...they'll back off when not appropriate, and probably understand why if they have half a clue!
2007-06-14 21:22:57 · answer #3 · answered by jimmyd 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Because you dont want to be socially cast out. You want to have them go away without a negative image of you, which is actually pretty healthy. It will get you quite far in the workplace, and its a show of ethics and class really.
I mean, whats more classy? screw you, or please go away/stop?
And what one is going to get you more results? the one that will anger them or the one that will maybe confuse them because they cant get angry over it?
It could be from an abusive childhood. or from a social backlash as a child for your bluntness.
2007-06-14 21:43:26 · answer #4 · answered by Adam 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well i am the same way, but i have learned that only the stupidest of people insult anyone else, or behave in a way that will upset someone, children and idiots.
i just tell myself some that insanely stupid is not worth my time or effort!.
and i ignore them and walk away with a smile. well i try to
2007-06-14 21:22:18 · answer #5 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am the same way, it's hard bc I don't want to make a big deal out of it...if I can't just make a joke I'll be like, "Excuse me?" That usually works.
good luck =)
2007-06-14 21:20:39 · answer #6 · answered by Angelacia baybeeeeee 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because you are a people pleaser in hopes that people will like you so that you can like yourself.
2007-06-14 21:19:44 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋