If someone says that you annoy them -whose problem is it really?

Question

I used to think that if something or someone annoys me, then it's my problem since it bothers me, not anyone else. Say, if I get annoyed, when people are slow in front of them, I will realise (sooner or later:), that I just need to chill or better plan my day so I don't hurry. My husband criticises me and tells me that I am agressive, or annoyign, or whatever. Some will say - look at yourself, perhaps, you can see what he is saying. I think that I will not be a punch bag and able to be objective and admit if I am in the wrong. So, whose problem is it? How do you know if it's you or him?

Answer 1

well you need to look sincerely at what he's suggesting and why
if you can agree, or disagree but genuinly see where he's coming from than it's probably yours.
but maybe that's just how you are/how you do things? don't stress too hard over something that you can't change or something that's a part of you, when it comes down to it, only you and those your care about can tell you how to live your life, and only you can choose how it is actually lived.

Answer 2

I think both parties have a problem. The person who is annoyed usually lets other people know in some way.

The innocent bystander unfortunately gets it from the annoyed and the annoying.

Husbands can be irritating when they mention flaws in the wife. I speak as a very flawed wife. Just ask my husband!
However, I find that there is usually a grain of truth in some of what he says.

The old adage that the only person you can change is yourself may apply. But, I hate being a doormat too. There are times the annoying person is as dangerous as he is irritating. That makes it much harder to stay calm.

If you are the annoying person then you can either accept the criticism or not. I usually try to tone it down when I can. Sometimes it is beyond me, and I let the other person deal with it. Perfection is a dream in my life. So, I just do the best I can and let the rest pass me by.

Answer 3

Its the problem of those that annoy you. You are simply trying to be efficent in a world where efficency is everything. Imagine of doctors and ambulance drivers took their time getting to work. Imagine if firemen did the speed, and if rushour never ended.

Now of there not obscructinv/blocking you from something, and you can go around them, then its one thing to be irked by them but keep it to yourself, though I woudl say its out of line to be really upset by their presence. the world needs lazy people. Weird, I know, but it does.

Now when there blocking an entire path like plaque in an artery, thats another. I personally will ask them to move, or in the case of loytering, physically make a path (generally there to stuned to react).

Agressive? yes. Assertive? yes. But if you want to be quick and efficent, you have as much of a right to as they do to be lazy and slow. So they need to get out of your way.

Its like land mines. its fair if theres a way for you to avoid the land mines, and if theres a solid line blocking you, that isnt fair. Time to break out the rocket propelled grenade launcher.

Answer 4

I am just like you. I am easily irritated by minor and not so minor situations. I get annoyed in the grocery store and while driving, and that's just to name a few. I do realize my faults. And it sounds like you realize yours too. But what really gets under my skin is, that although the person pointing out my faults could be right, they can come off as holier than thou (although it's probably not their intention). So, in short, it's the person choosing to make my so-called "problem" into their problem.

Answer 5

it is the problem of the person who is being annoyed. People are always annoying the person being annoyed must either change how they react or remove themselves from the situation. No one else will cater to what they want.

Answer 6

I believe it is your decision when you react to something or someone, you make a decisions on how you are going to react towards it. If you pay attention to your reactions you will see a pattern...perhaps you are high strung or too relaxed when you react? Sometimes it is necessary to change your routine if you have health concerns or are unpleasant to be around.

Answer 7

Meditate on yourself: your attitudes, the things you say, the way you say them, the things you do, they way you do them... would you be annoyed at yourself if you stepped out of yourself and looked at yourself be that way? It could be a little of both, but then it could be just you or just them.... that's why I say, meditate.... think about it, figure it out... don't depend on what people say, depend on what you know.... think about what others say, but with a grain of salt...

Answer 8

I keep moving on.
No reason to cerate stress in my life
Try it

Answer 9

Its theirs ultimatly. you are who you are(unless your annoying them on purpose). Screw them.

Answer 10

your's. now stop asking these annoying questions.
...kidding!