Dead Boyfriend ... HELP!?

Question

I am 14. My boyfriend is 17 and we really want to get married. We have been dating for two years and I really love him. I have a serious problem now though. I'm pregnant. He's dead. It's not his kid. I never had intercourse with anyone. I feel so guilty all the time, because it's like I wasn't faithful to him, but I cannot remember a time that I had intercourse with anyone, I was waiting until marriage, that's why we wanted marriage so badly. My parents really didn't like him, and now they'll think it's his baby. I have been drunk several and probably taken advantage of. Obivously this is very complicated, and I need help! What should i do? also i am for sure pregnant, i took 6 pregnancy tests, I cant get an abortion and i dont want to have to go to school pregnant.. help!

My boyfriend is dead he died in a horrific car crash about a month ago

OMG!!! MY BOYFRIEND IS ALIVE? Thanks soooo much Cathy!! tell chris i love him if you see him, and tell him to come home ill leave my window open.. tell him i want to get married b4 i have the baby!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OMG THANK YOU!!!!

Answer 1

HEY i know you! your boyfriend didnt die!!!! hes alive! he was trying to find you but when you moved to colorado he couldnt fly over there because he was broke and your parents told you he died so that you wouldnt see him anymore. Hes been trying to get to you ever since! Its cathy!! Im here for you..and youre pregnant...he is the father..remember at daniels party? You had no idea but he did it...we all watched.

Answer 2

I will skip the lectures...although there could be many! If you are being honest about the fact that you do not remember having intercourse you need to let someone know. That is called rape.....I would advise you that if the sex was consensual you need to be honest. Claiming that you were falsely raped is a crime! Obviously the sex was unprotected. In addition to becoming pregnant you could have contracted a number of STD's or infections so it is very important that you see a doctor as soon as possible. You need to make a choice..get an abortion...or go to school pregnant. Most of all you need to discuss this with your parents.


EDIT: I just looked at your profile and saw where you posted a silly question about a zit on your back directly after you posted this question......Get a life!!!!! There are actually people on this site that are here to ask and answer questions without playing games.

Answer 3

the details seem extremely SHAKY! Firstly you say that you HAVE a bf and that you want to get married and that you guys have been DATING.
All of which is present tense, which makes us think he is still alive.

Now we get to the part about him being dead. You say he isn't the father, but that you don't remember having intercourse and you also say that you've gotten drunk several times before. Why would you do this to yourself?

And so now you are pregnant and you don't know what to do. You have options, the first you NEED to do and I know this will scare you but you need to tell your PARENTS and then they can help you figure out what's best, after all they will be the ones really FOOTING the bill for this kid, I outta know, My sister had her first kid @14 and then her second @ 16, so yeah I know.

PLEASE MAKE CORRECT DECISIONS, EVERYTHING YOU DO AFFECTS YOU and from now on WILL AFFECT YOUR CHILD, I wish you the best in life!

Answer 4

You have GOT to talk with an adult immediately!!! Regardless of what is actually going on right now, go to your parents! Please don't be worried about what they'll think. You're going through a LOT! Death is so hard to deal with, but at age 14 especially, drinking is not the healthy way to deal with it. Your parents will understand your need to talk and may even take you to your doctor.

If you feel unsafe talking to your parents, please get to a school counselor or find a counselor, chaplain, or pastor of Lay Ministry at a hospital or church.

If you are in fact pregnant (because you've been tested or you've seen the doctor) and you're 100% sure that you've never consented to sex (meaning that something most likely happened to you while you were drunk), you DEFINITELY need to talk with someone now! Contact a parent, the police, or call a rape crisis number (like RAINN) and get some help! A rational, calm adult can help take care of your grieving, your health, and your options with your baby.

Good luck, sweetheart.

Answer 5

well, the first thing you should do is tell your parents. It doesn't matter whose baby it is--your boyfriends', an abuser, or whatever, you need to see a doctor ASAP. Especially since you are so young and being pregnant alters your body so much. It will really suck having to go through this, but you really need to for you and for your baby. And you should definitely consider adoption if you are not ready for being a single mom. (I know SO many people who would love your baby forever and can't have any of their own). Anyway, good luck with your decisions. It will be difficult, but you will get through it.

Answer 6

ummmm im sorry about your boyfriend. but your 14 pregnant and you were dating a 17 y/o. wow and you ammitted you have been drunk b4. you have much bigger problems then the fact that your boyfriend died. and i can see why your parents didnt like him. get a prninty test after the baby is born. and your question is a little confussing i mean you see we want to get married but then you say hes dead. and need to see a doctor

Answer 7

Well you must have had sex with someone in order to get pregnant in the first place because you can't get pregnant out of the blue by yourself. Some guy probably raped you and got you pregnant why you were drunk. Next time don't go to parties and get drunk. You should also figure out a way to support your child.

Answer 8

i dont know what to tell you what were you thinking getting drunk anyway you need to find out who the father is you need to track down every guy youve ever partied with and find put who it is and if you don't remember it was rape plain and simple you were raped and you need to find out who did it i know you may think its your fault but its not just try you can pull through this you and your child you have made some poor choices but put them behind you and do what is best for you and your child as for the school thing you have to bear with it or get a tutor and do the work from home this isn't going to be easy and this isn't goin to be fun as for the parents thing tell them straight out that you were raped you need their support right now if you need any advice i'm here 4 u and just so u know im a 14 year old girl too im not a crazy pedophile

Answer 9

This is realy complicated. I say to just do what you can. Get a part time job and work. Tell you parents. Do not drink anymore.


Be the best you can be for your babys sake.
Rais you baby the best you can, and remember:

When you have a baby you have to give up everything for them, you have to try and work hard so that you can provide for you child.


I realy hope that you figure things out and it all works out

♥ ♥

Answer 10

Your story is funky.
How are you and your boyfriend looking forward to and wanting marriage if he's dead?
Were you drunk when you asked this question?
Really though, if you indeed are pregnant deal with it. Its on you for getting drunk.
Sorry about your boyfriend.
AND ummm yea, you technically were't unfaithful to him.
And if you can't get an abortion u have no choice but to go to school pregnant unless you drop out.