I want a forth baby but my husband doesn't think he can give me another one. medically speaking what should i

Question

what should I do, he tells me to have some one else get me pregnant some one who still can sinc ehe can't for some medical reason. should i find some one or how do i let go of never having that fourth baby?

testicle cancer

he was tested and docs gave a 5% chance of him getting me pregnant again he wants the fourth one two just thinks i should try to do it with some one else sinc eit way out of the budget for any thing else

Answer 1

its nice that u want a forth child, but u already have 3. and that is wonderful, but there is no reason why u couldnt try, u said he has a 5% chance of getting u pregnant? that is better than no percent chance at all. trying cant hurt, but just dont put too much emphasis on getting pregnant, if it happens, it happens, if not it wasnt meant to be. if u want a forth one, u obviously have a lot of love to give and i wish u the best

Answer 2

How long ago was he diagnosed and did they remove both testicles? I have a 17 year old friend with testicular cancer and they removed one testicle and he is doing fine with only one. They did take some samples to store in case he ever lost the capability though. If your husband is still producing but doesn't feel he would be producing enough to impregnate you perhaps there is something closer that could be done like artificial insemination. This might give it more of a chance. It really does depend on what you mean by "he doesn't think he can." Three children is a hand full and this should be talked over a lot before going through with it. If he doesn't want another child, I wouldn't push too hard because it is a huge undertaking. Remember, you will probably get grandchildren! :-)

Answer 3

If you don't know what the medical condition is then get that checked first. It may be that your husband doesn't want another child and is using this as an excuse. TALK about it. Both partners need to be in agreement before you bring another child into the world.
If he really can't give you a fourth baby, look to adoption. Just be aware that there is a high demand for babies and you could be waiting or if you just want a fourth child, look into an older child.
If you want a fourth child, give yourself time. You may not have to give that up.
Our fourth came as a surprise to us (just weren't planning to have it at this time). It can happen if it is supposed to, one way or another.

Answer 4

If you love your husband then why push for the 4th child if you already have 3.. Having another mans baby just because you cant with your husband is to me a big no no. Now it would be different if ya'll were unable to have any together, and did the artificial insemination, but to have another mans baby because you want a 4th is wrong.. Be happy with the 3 you have and enjoy every minute of it.. Some women are lucky to get 1..

Answer 5

It sounds like your husband might not be sure. Unless you know for certain, I wouldn't jump to conclusions. It is fairly simple for a doctor to determine if your husband is fertile; go ahead and get that tested first.

Carrying the child of another man might do wierd things to your relationship. I recommend adoption or becoming a foster parent if you can not conceive naturally. There are so many children who need a home that a loving and experienced mother like you can provide.

By edit (since you provided add'l info)... Ask your doctor to test his sperm count. It is most likely covered under your insurance. (I hope you have insurance, otherwise having a 4th child might not be wise.) If the numbers aren't high enough, then consider adoption. Many employers will contribute to the costs of adoption. Also, consider foster children. The state will pay you to care for the child and you will be helping someone who would otherwise be lost in the system.

Answer 6

Be happy with the 3 children you have. It sounds to me like your husband really doesn't want another child, so you shouldn't have one. I doubt your husband would stay if you got pregnant by someone else. He was probably just kidding. I hope anyway. I'm sure he'd be miserable if a fourth baby came in. Why do you feel so strongly about having another baby?

Answer 7

Three children is enough of a task. Having children is as much a responsibility as a blessing. or a curse.

Fertility and in-vitro procedures are not cheap...consider if your wants are not outweighed by the needs of your family.

The greatest joys of parenthood are not how many but instead how high the dreams you created can fly. I'd suggest you talk to the man you dream with though. The dream is mutual and it's up to both of you. If he actually wants another you can find a way, or ADOPT. Other people's dreams need you too.

Answer 8

most of us can't have a 4th or even a third for many reason's be happy with 3. I hope your husband was being sarcastic by saying go find someone else other wise you two have some issues to work on.

I would just go ahead and work on the 4th and if it comes then you were meant to have it if not then you still have more than most and he'll be happy you tried

Answer 9

Oh my goodness... why is having that fourth child more important than the real issue here... your husbands health and his feelings of being so inadequate for you that he's willing to let you have sex with someone else? That is just so sad. You have been blessed with three children. You need to explore the real need you are trying to fill with another baby. Maybe you should consider talking to a LCSW or therapist to try to sort it out. Good luck.

Answer 10

He should go to the doctor and find out for sure if he has some medical problem. If he doesn't, then you need to ask him if he wants another child. It sounds like perhaps he doesn't. In that case, you two need to work out some kind of compromise. If he absolutely does not want another child, then you should respect that.