Have any other parents felt this way about having another baby after they had their first!?

Question

Hi, I have a 16 month old son. He is the most wonderful thing in my life. I love him so much its not funny!!I am letting you know this so you know how I feel about my son.

Now to the question, I have been having a problem deciding what to do. Me and my husband are not sure if we want another on. We both have mixed feelings about this. At first after I had my son I really wanted another one but now I am not so sure. Is this normal? Because it is not that I absolutely don't want one but I have mixed feelings. Most of the time I think that I am fine with just one but then at times I want to have another one!! I feel very confused and concerned about this.If you have any advice I would grately appreciate it!!Thank you for your time!

Answer 1

This is totally natural to feel this way. I have a 3 1/2 year old son whom I adore more than anything in this world. I cry when he is just spending the DAY with my mom who lives less than 10 minutes away. I cant stand to be away from him. I would give him my world.

My husband and I both wanted another baby but still were unsure. Thats why it took us so long to concieve again, we were just unsure. And even during this pregnancy (I am 39 weeks, by the way) I have been SOOOOOO scared. I actually broke down one day and told my husband and my family that I was so scared I wouldnt be able to give the same amount of love to this child as I do my first. I cant imagine my heart getting any bigger and possibly have more love than I have for my son now. BUT I know that it is only because I dont know the baby yet, I havent met him yet, and once he is here, that is something my son and I can do together and enjoy, is play with the baby and get to know him.

It is completely natural. I have been there, our baby was planned, and I still had doubts. It is so weird. But you should feel proud that you love your child so much you are not sure that you want to have to share all of your love. I think you should have another if you and hubby have both considered it. That just means you really deep down inside do want another one. Things will be fine. And I wish you the best of luck in whatever you decide. Have a great day and take care! ;-)

Answer 2

Yeah, that's normal. I am pregnant with my 3rd now and the jump from 1 kid to 2 kids was a big one. I think I had mini-freak outs before and during my pregnancy. Another child will give your son a playmate and a brother/or sister to love. I think having our 2nd made my daughter realize the world didn't revolve around her (if that makes any sense). Having said all of that...you and your husband are the only ones who can decide when and if you are ready to have another child. Maybe sit down together and make a list of pros and cons and see what you end up with. Just a thought.

Answer 3

If you or your husband have ANY doubts then wait until your 110% sure. I have felt the exact same way after having my now 21 month old son. I have a daughter who's 8 as well though. But before and having him and up until he was just over a year I swore I wanted another right away..but well he's a handful and I can't imagine adding another child into our mix anytime soon.

Answer 4

Well first of all id like to say to those people who said they cant afford it, the Discovery Health channel and all the other things they participate in give them money and pay them good, plus the father has a good job so they have enough money to buy regular clothes (not from goodwill), and have a good house and everything. If the other people actually read the article then they would know about the buddy system so no child is neglected. I would never have that many children. I dont even plan on having one in the future (i plan on being a cardiologist so I wouldnt have time for my child). I think as long as they can support their children and make sure they get the attention and help that they need then its okay. They probably have enough money to hire some help if they really needed it. It was their decision to have so many kids and I respect it. If their preference is lots of kids, then i say they could do it. As long as they can support all those children, its okay.

Answer 5

I had my first son and like you adored him! I originally "planned" to keep my children two years apart, and I didn't want two like everyone else. I thought I'd try for three. The years went by, each one getting easier than the next. Finally, when my son was 4, I decided it was now or never. We did get pregnant, and in my opinion, it was perfect timing. I was able to give my son the undivided attention he needed until he started school, and my daughter got the same during the day. During the whole pregnancy we involved our son. It was "his" baby. He came to appointments (ultrasound) and when we found out he was getting a little sister, with a little guidance, we let him pick out her name. Emily. After Emily Elizabeth on Clifford. I could live with that. And most importantly, my son was involved and felt just as important in the whole process. As for making it to 3 children, well lets just say that little girls aren't worth the cute dress up clothes. (ha ha) Once the children outnumber the adults, or the number of hands I have forget it! I've been blessed with a boy and a girl. Who could want more? Good luck with whatever your choice.

Answer 6

I felt the same way and then I had my second and, the great thing is, you feel the same way about your second! Truly, you love them so much and then you have two wonderful babies (and maybe more) to love. It's a wonderful feeling and doesn't lessen the love for either child. I'm so happy I had another. My first was a boy and I was nervous about maybe having a girl - I thought maybe I'd jus rather stick to boys. Then my second was a girl and she is fabulous and just like me. So, I'm thrilled that I took the plunge.

Answer 7

Mixed feelings are very normal. The good thing is, you have lots of time to have another if you choose to do so. Enjoy your son on his own a little longer :)

Answer 8

Anything wrong to have another one or even two more child.Its God gift to you.Anyway,think 10 or 15 years from now.Your son will be grown up and that think you and your husband will feel lonely.But if you have another or two more child than it will be better.Trust me,I have 4,two grils and 2 boys,they give full coperation to each other and I love them so much,especially woderful to see and experince them growing.So go for another one!Dont waste time.

Answer 9

having a secons child is a big decision. Take some time to talk it over and when the time is right, go for it. There is no set timetable to have a 2nd child, my brother had all his kids 18 months apart, while mine will be almost 6 yrs apart. Whatever works for your family is what is right.

Answer 10

Just wait till your baby is bigger and can understand the concept of a brother or sister. That way it gives you time to think if you want another baby, and being able to spend alone time with the new one if you chose to.