Can i get my ex-husbands parental rights terminated?

Question

My ex was out of our childrens lives for 5 yrs, last May he asked to see them and i allowed it hoping for the best. He has not seen or spoken to them in about 4 months. He pays support to keep out of jail but shows no interest in them at all. I live in Indiana and i am unsure of the laws as to abandonment. I have a fiance that adores my children and they love him, he is wanting to adopt them once we are married, but i would like to just do away with my ex' involvment or lack there of long before then. My kids are 10 and 6 and they really have no relationship with their bio dad, they don't even ask about him. What can i do to save them from a father that has no interest? He has 5 other children but only sees 1 daily and i don't want my kids to lose their bother and sisters. I guess i really need some advice. thanks

Answer 1

I am so sorry you are going through this. At least you have a fiance who values your children more than their father. He is the reminder that biology does not make a parent.
The first step probably is to ask him to terminate his rights since he obviously does not give one whit about them. Hold the carrot out that he would not have to pay any more child support( the buzzard will probably go for that in a heartbeat). You can find documents on line that can pertain to your state which outlines the termination of parental rights. Get the document notarized and take that to court and have it filed. A case # shoudl be issued and the judge will go through the process and formally terminate his rights paving the way to have your fiance adopt your children.
If on the other hand, he does not go for it, file adoption papers with your fiance anyway, which would essentially take him to court. A public notice will be published in the paper and if he does not comply, the judge can involuntarily terminate his rights.
Good luck to you

Answer 2

You cannot terminate the fathers rights. The only person who can do that is the father. He can, should he want to, get a lawyer, file the appropriate papers, appear before a judge and have himself removed as the father. He would then have no rights concerning them - ever - and would no longer have to pay child support as the children wouldn't be his.

But you can't do it. He IS the father and has all of the same rights and privileges YOU do. Besides, trust me on this, your children are going to be adults before you know it and they will want to know their father - whether he was a good one or not.

The man you are going to marry can be a wonderful "dad" to these kids without having a piece of paper declaring him the father. He can be a great step-dad and have the love and respect of your kids. - without a legal paper.

Quit banging away at the natural father. Remind your and his kids that he does love them but that he has some personal problems that prevent him from being involved in their lives. Don't tear him down in front of the kids. If he is a rotten man, those kids will find that out for themselves when they are older and able to see through him.

Answer 3

Usually abandonment means no contact for a period of time, like 1 year in some states! As he saw them in may, that argument is out the window. The other thing that would keep you from termination is he pays support on a regular basis. Whether it is to stay out of jail is not germane.

Why don't you ask him to relinquish? If the only reason he pays child support is to stay out of jail, as you say, that is a perfect out for him, isn't it?

A relinquishment will not change the status of the other children that are related!

Answer 4

I cannot speak with any knowledge of Indiana law nor do you set forth the terms of your custody agreement at the time of your divorce. So, it is extremely difficult to provide any concrete advice. My best suggestion based on what you have written is to simply go forward with your current relationship on its own merits. You cannot 'save' your children from what you perceive as their father's lack of interest, but you (and your fiance) can offer them a wholesome environment in which to grow.

You mentioned child support and I suspect the potential loss of it is on your mind (if you re-marry.) If your fiancé truly loves your kids, this would not seem to be an issue in itself. I would suspect that if he wishes, he could petition the court to legally adopt your children after you marry. If your characterization of your ex husband's interest in his kids is correct, I suspect that your ex would not object.

But I must add a note of caution...That is because I get a sense from your comments that your views of the situation are colored by old grievances. I cannot help but wonder if your desire to terminate your childrens' fathers 'rights' is based upon their best interests or, instead, your own personal desire to seek some sort of revenge at the kids' expense or perhaps in consideration of the loss of child support payments...I hope I'm wrong about that, but you are the only one who can truly answer that question! He IS their father and perhaps someday he or they will want to establish a closer relationship...That is their collective right and you should never stand in the way of that...That fact will never change, so as I said before...Go on with your life, and please don't try to change your childrens' 'history' (you cannot!) Just live is the present as it unfolds. Strive to 'react' when necessary rather then to 'aggravate' needlessly. Blessings......

Answer 5

When you and your fiance get married have him petition for adoption. Your ex has to be notified and he has a chance to object, but if the fiance adopted your children that would be the same thing as terminating your ex' parental rights, assuming the judge grants it. You better get started right away because an adoption process takes some time. You have to issue a public notice for so many days, serve your ex and he has so many days to respond, and get finger prints and background checks done by your state for your fiance. Get a lawyer and they can take you through the process.

Answer 6

If he has no criminal record and is paying support you should be thanking him not trying to take away his rights. And no you don't have a snowballs chance in hell of preventing him from seeing his kids or having his say on important matters. You made the decision to have kids with this guy. You act like someone forced you to marry him and have kids with him not once but twice. You have to live with the consequences of that decision. What if your next marriage is as "successful" as your first?

If he doesn't visit and they don't ask, what exactly are you "saving" your kids from? Why go through all those legal hurdles to get the same situation you already have now?

Answer 7

Texting lets you control the tone and establish what kind of conversation you want to have. Learn here https://tr.im/yR5SJ
This is probably the most important part. With texting, you can stop and think about what you want to say to your ex at each step of the way. Instead of reacting emotionally, you can take your time, figure out the right thing to say (I’ll give you most of it), and be strategic with your ex without saying something that you’ll regret.

Answer 8

I don't have an answer for you but boy your situation is VERY similar to mine. I tried to get my Ex Husbands rights terminated., I even have a conviction against him for abusing our youngest, but the judge wouldn't do it. Anyways I hope you get a judge that will help you, all the best, I will be praying for you!

Answer 9

As he is paying child support you probably will be unable to have his rights involuntarily terminated (it's extremely hard to do.) However, he may be willing to voluntarily relinquish his rights in exchange for you signing an agreement to not pursue him for child support. My uncle did that for his kid.

Answer 10

If you don't want him to see them then you have no right to his money. If he is paying you, then you are not the boss. If not, then he has no business being around.