I know this is wrong.The Gynecologist is not married and no kids. He is very hot.I know what you are thinking(what if he is sleeping with other patients but i don't think so because i have access to his homes, money as in all his accounts).
yes i'm married and i have been for 6 years now. I only saw this guy i'm sleeping with once as my doctor and i changed doctors because i fell for him. We waited 18 months before we started dating.
I know i was wrong but my husband was not taking care of me at home.. He(husband) gained so much weight that he could not have s*e*x anymore. My husband and i stopped having sex 2 years after our marriage because of weight gain. whenever i cooked healthy foods. he picked up the phone and ordered pizza. I talked to my husband about our sex life and his reply was "if you want sex, go get it where you can find". he didn't care. My husband does not work bcos of his weight.I had not had sex for 4 years when i started sleeping with the OB/GYN.
2007-06-14 10:19:31 · 28 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I asked and filed for divorce but my husband is not signing papers and giving excuses about his health.. he told me that he will do whatever it takes to delay the divorce. I think you refused to work on our marriage when he refused to lose weight. When i met my husband he was 175 pounds not he is 410 pounds. I wanted us to work on his weight when he got to 200 pounds but he said i was not his monther and he would eat as he pleased.
am I wrong for wanting to leave him when I tried to work things out.
2007-06-14 10:22:26 · update #1
I WEIGH 120 pounds
2007-06-14 10:33:00 · update #2
Life is too short to waste on someone who is dragging you down into his abyss. You seem to have made an honest attempt to help the hubby and right the marraige without success. You have my blessing to move on and live your life without guilt. You deserve a happy life with someone who cares or even with you alone and making decisions about your own life. Enjoy and be happy! Good luck!
2007-06-14 10:29:48 · answer #1 · answered by steveheremd 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The Bible also says judge not that ye be not judged. Somehow people forget that. Having an affair is not using good judgment though it is easier to have an affair than it is to go through the heartache and financial strain of getting a divorce. At this point, however, it does not appear that you have much of a choice. Divorce is a very difficult decision but in your case it appears one that must be made. I think emotionally you have already left your husband and there will be little chance of recovering what has been lost.
Problem will be if you leave your husband will the man you are seeing now going to still be around. At this point there is no commitment. Only the pleasure of a physical relationship. Maybe you are afraid that if you get a divorce you will lose this man. Has he asked you to leave your husband? Has he told you he wanted to be with you forever? Maybe it is not really your husband you are concerned about but rather the man you are having the relationship with because this may not end the way you want. Good luck.
2007-06-14 10:45:13 · answer #2 · answered by Ken P 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only problem you have that I can see is what day to leave your husband !! On a serious note, you mentioned sex but not love and so I wouldn't leave your husband for the Doctor unless you love him and he loves loves you. Particularly as your husband gave his blessing to you having sex with someone else.
In terms of a long term future with your husband then you have to decide if you still have feelings for him, if you don't then you ought to leave. It is clear that he has an addiction to food which is making him a prisoner but you do not have to become one.
I make the above statement on the assumption that you have confirmed that there is nothing medically wrong with him. I know this sounds crazy but I knew someone many years ago that couldn't stop eating and it turned out to be worms of all things. They were taking all the goodness from the food they were eating and my friend was just craving nutrients reallly.
An addicion to food is like any other, you cannot help them only they can help themselves when they are ready. Perhaps if you tell him you are leaving it may jolt some sense into him.
I wouldn't let the fact that he will slow the divorce down stop you. No sex, no children right....so no problem, the courts will speed it up for you.
2007-06-14 10:40:22 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you actually read some of the additional details on here? Many times the question was much better without them. Then too, additional details appear as you are answering or afterwards... There have been a few times that I've missed a part of the details or didn't read them.
2016-05-20 04:39:13 · answer #4 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are right and if he does not sign the papers then they will make it official sooner or later. you may have to keep filing but it will go through. You was wrong if you didn't leave him first but the way you said it you made the steps in the right order. It sounds like he is keeping you around b/c you wait on him so don't let him hold you down he had his chances to work out the weight gain. You may have loved him but now he is just being selfish with his life and if he wants to take his life you don't have to sit around and watch it. I don't mean to sound like a bit** but I understand where you are coming from.
2007-06-14 10:35:47 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm surprised your husband values food and eating more than sex. Most guys are the exact opposite. I can see how your needs are not getting met. Married couples should have frequent sex, at least while they're young and have strong sex drives. Maybe your husband would benefit from a dramatic intervention for his food addictions, like gastric bypass surgery or hospitalization in an eating disorder clinic. Another option is Over-eaters Anonymous. You should not continue dating the doctor, though. You should break that relationship off since you're already married.
2007-06-14 10:24:26 · answer #6 · answered by razzthedestroyer 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I do not think you should have had an affair like that, people should always separate, or file for divorce first. I guess your husband kinda gave you permission, I would have taken that and filed right then. You do what you want to do now, you did file, and it's not your fault that he is holding things up. As long as you are being honest with the guy you are with then things should be fine. Good luck to you, and I truely hope you find happiness.
2007-06-14 10:30:32 · answer #7 · answered by Ivy_Woman 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
First off you are way wrong to cheat on your husband. Second off, what the heck are marriage vows for? If you didn't agree with your marriage vows (better or worse) then why did you take them? If you can't take marriage vows seriously I recommend getting a divorce and never marrying anyone again. It is unfortunate that your husband has a terrible eating disorder. I understand how that would be very frustrating. I recommend a counselor. Your husband should see two, one for his eating problem and one for your marriage problem.
2007-06-14 10:43:56 · answer #8 · answered by Crissy_Jo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband may delay the divorce, but the sooner you file the quicker it will be over with.
I understand your feelings. I tried to picture myself in your position and really feel that I would break down and leave.
If you suggest counseling and your husband refuses, that could be grounds for the divorce.
2007-06-14 10:31:45 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I don't blame you for not wanting to watch your husband eat himself into an early grave. If it is that bad then move out and file for a separation. The move might make him realize what he is losing and get him to start taking care of himself.
2007-06-14 10:26:13 · answer #10 · answered by theoriginalquestmaker 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋