My boyfriend and I have been dating a year and 5 days. I love him so much! I am a senior this year and so is he. I want to be successful in life and have a great job, a great amount of money, n u know the rest. Well my boyfriend doesnt have any goals in life he just wants to slip on by, he doesnt want to go to college and he just wants to be average! But I want to go beyond the limit! The problem is I really love him with all my heart and I dont want this to change but i dont want him to bring me down and be average!
HELP PLEASE!
2007-06-14 10:12:21 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Talk to him about it and let him know that you want to share your life and your dreams with someone who in on the same path. He will either wise up and get off his butt to make a change or you need to let him go before he really does drag you down and you end up in a life that you don't want. I call people like him "happy stealers" ones that try to suck the happy out of your life with their negativity and lack of drive. PLEASE don't let this guy suck you into his rut, you seem to be a very smart girl with a wonderful life ahead of you. If he doesn't shape up you will find another guy with similar goals that you will love even more because he supports you and shares your path in life. Hopefull talking toyour guy will help, but I doubt it. Some people are just happy settleing for the normal hum drum life, it's sad really.
2007-06-14 10:20:14 · answer #1 · answered by Smarty Pants 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl, as a college grad u are on the right track...continue to be the go-getter that you are....however, run and dont look back, you will love someone else with more ambition and money! dont let this LOSER bring you down!!! You all may break up when u go to college and u see men that want the same things out of life as you. and obviously if he doesnt care about his self enough to want a good life for his self, which is not too much to ask for, then what makes you think that he really cares about you? ( and if you say b/c he says so then wake up b/c actions speak louder than words!) it is true that if you cannot love yourself then you cannot love anyone else....true story. Best of luck.
2007-06-14 10:20:21 · answer #2 · answered by Prettybrown 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You will never be able to 'change' a person into what you want them to be. Let him go and go on with your ambitions to a better life. Even if he 'says' he will change, he may not be able to do that for you or anyone else. Let someone else have the problem, because that is what he is - A PROBLEM. You have enough brains to know you want a good life, go to that dream. And you will love again, or at least find out what real love is when you have reached your goal.
2007-06-21 17:31:02 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know what it sounds like you will end up married and he will sit home having odd jobs when he feels like it and you will support him w/ your high paying job and he will hold ill feelings toward you for being so successful and him just being average. Gurl you sound like you have your life together and he def doesn't you will end up so miserable and so not in love w/ him that it's not even funny. You need someone w/ your same expectations out of life and you will be much happier. So I say cut your losses now and move on and find someone who's looking for the same things in life as you. Sorry to have to say that but it's true. Good Luck and I hope everything in your life turns out to be 10 times better than you ever dreamed it would be.
2007-06-21 16:33:43 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you are a survivor. You have reasonable ambitions and goals in life, and maybe he doesn't share your desires. If not, you would only make each other miserable and might end up hating each other. Let him go while you still have good thoughts of him. Tell him you really love him and treasure the time you've had together, but it's time for you to move ahead with your life. Wish him the very best, remain his friend for life.
2007-06-19 07:18:40 · answer #5 · answered by leslie b 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you don't want him to bring you down, raise him up. You can't change him unless he wants to change, and I'm not so sure you want to. You already imply he's below you. Not good. Your seniors in High school maybe he hasn't detemined his goals yet, maybe he has no future plans, he could be one of those that just rolls with the flow. That's not a bad thing just not compatible with a type personalities.
2007-06-22 07:14:55 · answer #6 · answered by Margo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't change him, but you can change you. Anything about him that bothers you now will get worse in marriage. Hell, things you love about him can irritate you badly after marriage. Something that helps me is to realize that there are at least 3 parts to me, mind, body and soul. write your ? down and answers for each of the 3 aspects of yourself. It's always helped me to get clarity.
I've been divorced 2 times. Take your time. How will his attitude affect you if he remains the same?
YOU are the only one with all the answers. but I think you are already in trouble if you're ? it already. You don't have to make the decision right now today. right??? don't be hasty. don't freak out. Just take your time. Perhaps a break from each other will help?? whatever you do be honest first with yourself, or you can't be honest with him.
blessed be
2007-06-22 03:59:01 · answer #7 · answered by Linda B 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No one can bring you down. Continue to dream and follow those dreams. Success takes hard work, commitment and dedication. I think you will find as you work towards your goals.. college, career and financial stability you will meet many guys on the same level with you and over time you will probably be the one who falls out of love with your bf.
2007-06-21 19:01:02 · answer #8 · answered by punkgrlsmom1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you can try and convince your boyfriend to maybe go to a college, or even a community college even! If he still does not want to, maybe give him some hints or ideas of what he wants to do in life so he can get interested in something and maybe pursue that in his life! Don't let a man bring you down in your goals!
2007-06-14 10:17:21 · answer #9 · answered by reeses 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi Hun fantastic question i had the same problem but when you think about it a female that sets goals for herself and is independent in 99% more attractive I know its hard but!! if he loves you he will wait only time will tell Ok then you two can have a fabulous life
Good luck on your voyage through life.
2007-06-21 11:35:24 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋