My husband and I have slept in separate bedrooms for seven years. We have have sex only 11 or 12 times in that seven years. The last time was two years ago. He hasn't held my hand in eight years, said "I love you" in seven years, or hugged me in seven years. I was so lonely and starving for affection that I slept with my best guy friend. My husband had the audacity to call me a "sl*t".
We have spoken about getting divorced for the past year, but neither of us has seen a lawyer. He doesn't want one because he's afraid of losing our daughter, plus he's Catholic. I told him adultery (mine) would allow him to continue receiving Communion. We still live in the same house, separate bedrooms, as we have for the past seven years. Why would he want to stay married, knowing I am lonely and unhappy, after not having touched me in seven years?
In my mind, this is not normal...he isn't gay, and he isn't seeing anyone else.
What should I do?
2007-06-14 10:10:09 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If you can't fix it then change it. Work on your marriage or get a divorce.
Your husband and you can split time with your daughter. If both of you are unhappy and want to go your separate ways then make it happen. You only get to go on this trip called life one time. I for one would't want to waste the trip.
Good luck.
2007-06-14 10:16:26 · answer #1 · answered by flyfish_777 4 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Counseling was the best option before you committed adultery. Now a divorce IS the best solution. Just to let you know that your husband is accountable for your actions, committing adultery, because the Bible tell us that once we are married our bodies belongs to our spouse (1 Corn 7). By him withholding intimacy from you caused the enemy to creep in. Stop waiting for you husband to file for a divorce, you do it and if he want to work it out he'll then step up and tell you how he feels. If you both proceed wit the divorce assure him that he will still be in his daughters life.
P.S. There's a huge difference between being a Catholic and a Believer.
May God Bless you and your family.
2007-06-14 10:22:27 · answer #2 · answered by wisdom_women 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
undergo in recommendations this, whilst your worried, you have a tendency to make blunders. tell her that its o.k. if she in no way forgives you, tell her you recognize why she could hate you and if she could choose for to stay remote from you for a on a similar time as its comprehensible, yet remind her that all of us makes blunders, no remember if its some scar or a decision you mustn't have made, those issues take place. whether blunders seem as though such silly acts once you seem back, their lots extra distinctive interior the 2d. tell her to stay calm and that's yet another step in existence that the two one in each and every of you may bypass by. instruct her this answer and ask her what she could like. What deal you're able to do together with her so which you would be able to the two be happy jointly until the discomfort leaves. If there is not any plan, provide it it sluggish, permit your recommendations artwork its magic and are available back jointly once you think of of something, merely take issues sluggish and basic.
2016-10-17 07:01:57 · answer #3 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have the same situation were my girlfriend(I guess) is married and I found out a bit late. I found out why she seeked love outside of her marriage. She also does sleep in a seperate room than her husband. In fact I never suspected that she was married because she always hangs out with her guys friends and would come home late.
So we have been together for a year now and I found out she was married about 6 months ago maybe even less than that. At this point I don't know what to do but i do know she loves me and cares for me. but, what she did do was wrong.
Now, to your question.....well, it seems that he doesn't love you or even respect you anymore. He might care for you but, still what he has done to you is rob you of what people need in life. That's wrong!
You need to file for divorce even though he's Catholic because religion is just religion. You can't based things on religion, there's enough extremist out there.
It's a bit interesting on how you slept with your best guy friend and my girlfriend considered me as her best friend. I think the reason for that is because of the level of comfort in the relationship. You don't need to walk on eggs shells or get approvals from him. He won't judge you, he's been there to lean on and for him to listen.
At this point, you need to file for the divorce papers because nothing will done. Torturing yourself is not healthy. Don't let judgemental people get to you because you are your own person.
In your situation, getting a divorce is more of gaining than losing. You are gaining life!
2007-06-14 10:33:04 · answer #4 · answered by Cerealkiller 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
No, it's not normal at all! I don't think it is a good reason at all for you two to stay married just because he is against divorce. It may be one thing to be reason for your child, but your child will eventually be effected by this!! She will def. start to understand (if she isn't already) that mommy and daddy aren't like most mommy and daddys in the world!!! Life is too short to be unhappy! She will understand!
2007-06-14 10:34:40 · answer #5 · answered by Mandi 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Come on to him big time! I mean you gotta seduce him like you haven't done in 7 years. You must be horny as hell. Take the children to grandma's or elsewhere. THEN:
Get showered and shaved--real smooth--you know where. Guys love this. Do up your hair and make up, and put on lots of his favorite perfume.
Then greet him at the door wearing nothing more than black seamed stockings, black garter belt and your favorite black high heeled pumps. You'll look gorgeous and he'll be blown away.
Strip his clothes off and start kissing and licking him. Then start moving down..... Wow, I wish I were in his shoes! He'll be sleeping with you tonight.
Let me know how it goes!
Good luck
2007-06-14 10:33:57 · answer #6 · answered by Julius4U 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off even though you have a daughter together that is no reason to stay together. He is just being selfish it sounds he doesn't want you but he also doesn't want anybody else to have you either that is totally crazy. What does he expect for you to do sit around and wait until he decides that he wants to do something with you. You need to go and find you a real man that will give you the attention that you deserve.
2007-06-14 10:19:52 · answer #7 · answered by sarah 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I'd take him to a medical doctor for a physical and then to a sex therapist.This is not normal.Maybe he has trouble saluting,if you know what I mean.But in any case,I'd definitely get on with living.Marriage is about sharing love and sex with each other.Give him an choice.Tell him to either go for counseling,or you're out the door.Life is too short to live it in misery,girl.
2007-06-14 10:24:18 · answer #8 · answered by ladybug 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he is concerned with the issue of divorce as it relates to his religion, he would try harder to make the marriage work. It sounds like he is using that as an excuse. If things are as you say then it is time that you both should move on. neither of you should have to live unhappily.
2007-06-14 10:53:45 · answer #9 · answered by sportsfanstl1 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell him you should be having sex around 50 times a year and see what he says.
2007-06-14 10:26:52 · answer #10 · answered by Zaferus 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋