Should I send my kid's dad a father's day card?

Question

My husband and I are now legally separated and we have 4 year old twins together. The reason we split is b/c he has a drug problem and is now in rehab. I am really angry at him and hurt for detroying our marriage, etc...BUT, I am wondering if I should buy a father's day card for my twins and let them send it to him?

Answer 1

yes you should and why not because no matter what hanppend that GUY still their father

Answer 2

I think that would be a great idea. At 4 years old, the children probably don't even understand why you are mad at "daddy" or why he doesn't live with you any more.

They see him as Daddy and I think it would be nice for them to send him something. Esp if he is in rehab. That's the first step to recovery. It might make him smile. And he needs some encouragement to get through his addiction.

Can they bake cookies with you to send to the rehab place? Also, a home made card might even be better than buying a card. That way he can hang it up on the wall and think of them often

hope all goes well

Answer 3

Although you may be angry with your husband, he is still the father of your children. Something to think about: Wouldn't you like to receive a card from your children for birthdays, holidays, and mothers days, even if he was the one who's really sending it on behalf of the twins? If you answered yes, then it's probably a great idea, and even if he doesn't return the favor, you'll know that you are teaching your children a very important life lesson: Treat others as you would like to be treated.

Answer 4

If he is in rehab now for his drug addiction there is a better chance that he will recover from it. You have at least 14 more years of visitations and all that co-parenting stuff. Plus... even though you are seperated, you have to admire his effort to get straight.

I'd say send him the card signed by your twins. I am not saying that you send him a card or that you two get back together. But if he is sincerely trying to get clean, this will give him encouragement to keep going... the love of his kids.

Good luck to you

Answer 5

That's really your call!! But if your planning on being separated for good then I would just wait until the twins are old enough to make him a card themselves. Otherwise he might have false hopes that you both might get back together again. But if it's just a temporary separation and you plan on getting back together with him after rehab, then sure why not, what have you got to lose?

Answer 6

Yes my opinion is that regardless of the marital relationship between you two he is still and always will be their father.

Letting the kids pick out a card and perhaps a small gift would be a thoughtful and kind thing to do.

It not only shows the children that regardless of your relationship with him they are still allowed and encouraged to love him in their own way but that you are a kind and respectful parent.

They will learn his faults as well as yours on their own and you always want them to look back at their lives and know that you were a good person and a great role model on how to treat each other as well as others.

Answer 7

if u proceed this chilly conflict with ur father, now no longer some thing is going to paintings out acceptable. u will contine to be depressing. u r a mom, the resident peace maker of a kinfolk. u might want to nicely note of that the secret is in information relationships and information even as to provide in or maybe as to now no longer. ur father might want to have some ego difficulty, in accepting his fault. wont u opt for to have a sturdy time with ur father? wouldnt u lke him to a sturdy granpa to ur toddler? there isn't any longer from now on some thing incorrect in sending him a card. u will not in any respect lose by ability of sending hima card. u will basically upward thrust in others eyes even as u provide him a card. if accessible, provide him a letetr or have a talk with him. tell him how his moves have damage u and how undesirable u felt even as he isregarded his received grandchild. tell him that u might want to do each and every little component in ability to resume a hardship-loose relation with ur moms and dads because it can make all and multiple satisfied.(i'm certain you do)

Answer 8

Of course you should. Drug addiction is a very complex disease, and people who have never been addicted often get angry at the user because they think "why can't you just stop"? It's really not that easy. If it were, there wouldn't be rehab.

But, climbing off my soapbox, yes you definitely should continue to encourage a relationship between your girls and their father. Regardless of how you feel about him, he's still their dad. They want him in their life - make sure they know that you won't be mad at them for loving him.

Answer 9

He is still their father. He is in rehab, so he admits he has a problem and is trying to recover. Just because you are angry at him doesn't mean you should destroy his relationship with his children. Don't take the opportunity for the children to have a relationship with their father away from them unless he has been abusive to them and he is a threat to them. If he has hurt you, get past it for your children. Don't make them feel your feelings toward their father - they might resent you when they are older.

Good luck.

Answer 10

Yes honey - you should. He has problems and he did mess up your marriage but he is the father to the twins and maybe, just maybe it may make him a little stronger. It doesn't mean you have to take him back. A little kindness never hurt anyone. I hope everything turns out ok!

Answer 11

Although I was hurt very badly by our divorce, he is stil our son's father. I made a card for him with pictures of the two of them and thanked him for staying active in our son's life. Since he abandoned me last summer and moved to another state, he has called our son every night without fail. And, again, even though I think of him now as the lowest form of scum on earth, at least he is still trying to be a father.